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Daily Weird #24 The cross-eyed opossum

Updated on July 1, 2013
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An opossum is an opossum, is an opossum. Unless it’s a cross-eyed opossum, then it’s a star!

Heidi the cross-eyed opossum lives at the Leipzig Zoo in Germany. Heidi has a facebook page, YouTube videos, and a following that would make Dave Barry jealous. Why? Because she’s fat, and she’s cross eyed. If only I had known.

I have a lot in common with Heidi. Heidi is originally from North Carolina. I used to live in North Carolina. Heidi is overweight and currently on a diet. Hey, me too! Heidi is little. I’m short! Heidi is cross-eyed. I can cross my eyes.

I’m not going to say I’m jealous of Heidi, but with around 150,000 friends on facebook alone…. Ok, I’m jealous. I’d like to see her keep up a “poking” contest with them all, though! “Make sure and wish all your “friends” happy birthday, Heidi. Oh, and don’t forget to send them all stuff for Mafia Wars and their dang ol’ farms!”

Good luck with that.

So, Heidi is a star. She has traveled across the Atlantic Ocean, from a place where the people add extra syllables to their words, to a place where they take syllables off of their words, and clear their throats every time they speak. I’m sure it’s been tough on the girl. No wonder she’s gained weight. She’s stress eating.

Opossums, like women over 40, have almost zero chance of losing weight. Unlike women over 40, however, opossums that are overweight tend to go cross-eyed and have people fawn over them. Also unlike women over 40, opossums rarely reach the age of 4. I guess I can give Heidi some slack. She’s around 2 now; she’ll most likely die soon.

Heidi is also a member of an elite group. At least, she was a member of an elite group over here in North America. Heidi is a marsupial. That means she’s from Mars, and has an ail that stands straight up. Ok, it doesn’t mean that, but how cool would that be? No, I don't know what an "ail" is, I'm assuming it's how they say "tail" in Martian.

Opossums are the only marsupials here in North America. The only ones. We don’t have any others. My question is this. If opossums are the last of the marsupials, why do we keep squishing them on the highway? Shouldn’t we at least give them the same courtesy as deer, and put up a crossing sign? The sign would read, "Roadkill, next two miles".

Heidi is cute. There’s no denying it. The person who runs her over in the road one day will be very sad.

Good luck Heidi, seriously, you're going to need it.

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    • sueroy333 profile image
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      Susan Mills 5 years ago from Indiana

      I do. I'm incredibly jealous. Seriously.

    • RealHousewife profile image

      Kelly Umphenour 6 years ago from St. Louis, MO

      I love Dave Barry! Ha! The opposum is awfully cute too - so I don't feel bad that he has 140,095 more friends than me:)

      Hi sueroy and Chelsea!

    • sueroy333 profile image
      Author

      Susan Mills 6 years ago from Indiana

      Silver Poet- there's an angle I hadn't considered. The cuteness is disguising a deadly villain. Sneaky little opossum!

    • Silver Poet profile image

      Silver Poet 6 years ago from the computer of a midwestern American writer

      Anyone who has ever kept chickens will resent opossums. If one ever opens a mouthful of fangs at you, you'll see what I mean!

      Humorous hub. :)

    • sueroy333 profile image
      Author

      Susan Mills 6 years ago from Indiana

      Pollyannalana- thanks for coming by and leaving a comment! I love your name. I said it out-loud three times, just because it's fun!

    • Pollyannalana profile image

      Pollyannalana 6 years ago from US

      Thanks for the smiles! Polly

    • sueroy333 profile image
      Author

      Susan Mills 6 years ago from Indiana

      Prasetio- you have a way of commenting that always makes me smile. Thank you for your kind words!

      I'm on my way to your hubs here in a bit, I'm behind in reading.. and I always love the way you find the most beautiful and uplifting things to write about!!

    • prasetio30 profile image

      prasetio30 6 years ago from malang-indonesia

      I love this story. Thanks for share with us. Good work, my friend. God bless you. Take care!

      Prasetio

    • sueroy333 profile image
      Author

      Susan Mills 6 years ago from Indiana

      Thanks Stan, that means a lot coming from you! :)

    • Stan Fletcher profile image

      Stan Fletcher 6 years ago from Nashville, TN

      Great one 333. You never disappoint.

    • sueroy333 profile image
      Author

      Susan Mills 6 years ago from Indiana

      Docmo, shoog, you shur'nuff did. :)

      I thanks ya fer yer mighty kind comments, and yep, this here world shur is crazy!

    • Docmo profile image

      Mohan Kumar 6 years ago from UK

      Hilarious and yet strangely a commentary on modern times where a cross eyed opossum can still bring out the weirdness-seeking humanity.

      They queued to see the 'elephant-man' now they are flocking on facebook for the corr-eyed opossum.

      Love your work- its laugh out loud funny!

      'I'm fixin' to go in a minute, 'cos they be actin' silly, them yonder NC opossum lovahs...' did I get it right?

    • sueroy333 profile image
      Author

      Susan Mills 6 years ago from Indiana

      @Esmeowl- Thank you so much for taking the time to stop by and read, and comment! You made my day right back!

      @Amanda- yeah, it kind of does make you laugh and coo at the same time! Thanks so much for stopping by and laughing with us!

      @Qudsia- You hit the nail on the head! I'm so jealous I could spit! I've been overweight and slightly cross-eyed for a while now, and NOTHING! It's totally not fair! :)

    • QudsiaP1 profile image

      QudsiaP1 6 years ago

      Hahaha, the things that become famous over night, makes you wonder what you did wrong. :P

    • amanda_rose profile image

      amanda_rose 6 years ago from NewJersey

      hahahaa awww

    • Esmeowl12 profile image

      Cindy A. Johnson 6 years ago from Sevierville, TN

      LOVED IT! Made my day. Thanks.

    • sueroy333 profile image
      Author

      Susan Mills 6 years ago from Indiana

      Gus- I'm pleased to know you didn't look at Heidi and see "Lunch" across her forehead! If you like, I can find an ugly possum to cook up and send your way!

    • sueroy333 profile image
      Author

      Susan Mills 6 years ago from Indiana

      @Chris- you never fail to leave me laughing! You should work on that babe-magnet thing, eat a few more pizza's and keep your eyes crossed, you may be on to something!

      Just saying "David Hasselhof" leaves me in stitches! I'm still laughing- and it's an hour later!

      @Diy- thank you so much for stopping by! The Carolina's rock! I knew there was a reason I liked you!! :)

    • sueroy333 profile image
      Author

      Susan Mills 6 years ago from Indiana

      @Punix- I can picture you empathizing. lol! I'm pretty sure Reilly is cross-eyed as well!

      @Drbj- You are not only wise, but apparently a psychic; I do, indeed have pointed black ears. They aren't furry, but I keep hoping.

      Nice "accent writing", I lived in North Carolina long enough to know you are right on the money! Thanks for the laugh- and the lesson in writing southern!

    • GusTheRedneck profile image

      Gustave Kilthau 6 years ago from USA

      Howdy Sueroy - Love that possum. Wouldn't want to waste it on any possum stew. Eyes are way too cool to cook the thing.

      Gus :-)))

    • DIYweddingplanner profile image

      DIYweddingplanner 6 years ago from South Carolina, USA

      Sue,

      Laughed a bunch over this one and realized we are both Carolina girls...me South, you North! I should have known!

    • ChrisLincoln profile image

      ChrisLincoln 6 years ago from Orange (or Lemon...) County, California

      Sue,

      Facebook friends are not "real" friends, are they now, and seriously, you'd be happy with people checking you out because you are fat and cross-eyed.

      (If that were the case, I'd be an unstoppable babe magnet...)

      And the Germans have seriously questionable taste, they believe David Hasselhof is a rock star...

    • drbj profile image

      drbj and sherry 6 years ago from south Florida

      You are def on a roll, Sue-girl. This was all very cute - funny, too.

      Loved your comparison to Heidi. You mean you have little pointed black furry ears, too? Wow!

      And I know exactly why her eyes got crossed. It's from stress! Really! She got stressed trying to figure out what 'rot arn' in North Carolina-ese really means. :)

      And thanks for the video - made my day.

    • Pcunix profile image

      Tony Lawrence 6 years ago from SE MA

      The poor thing looks terribly confused. I can empathize.

    • sueroy333 profile image
      Author

      Susan Mills 6 years ago from Indiana

      @Mentalist- Vogue actually contacted her, but they wanted her to show a little more fur than she was comfortable with.

      @Pamela- you're just trying to make me feel better about her fame, aren't you. You are so kind. :)

    • Pamela99 profile image

      Pamela Oglesby 6 years ago from United States

      The opossum is kind of cute and probably can only see out of one eye.

    • Mentalist acer profile image

      Mentalist acer 6 years ago from A Voice in your Mind!

      When Heidi gets on the cover of Vogue,then I'll have to friend the cutie on Facebook.;)

    • sueroy333 profile image
      Author

      Susan Mills 6 years ago from Indiana

      Will- Thank you for stopping by and leaving a comment! I'm actually on my way over to your hubs!! See you there!

    • WillStarr profile image

      WillStarr 6 years ago from Phoenix, Arizona

      Funny stuff!