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How the Pug Dog With the Googly Eyes Thinks

Updated on April 28, 2014

A What Dog?

For anyone not certain as to what a 'Pug Dog' is those people are mercifully lucky to have avoided a run-in with this little denizen of dog-dom, this disregarder of justice, this curly-tailed rascallion, this miscreant, this swaggering scamp....this...well you get the picture.

For truly there has never been and probably never will be a canine created (the Pug was literally created--being bred into into his present, devilish format) by some ancient Asian experimenter who had no idea what he was fooling with when he started to tinker to the genetic material of dogs in an effort to make a new and never-before-seen pooch that would out-pooch all other pooches by way of his superior, malevolent intelligence, his talent for chicanery and his perverted,recidivist tendencies.

Perhaps you think I am exaggerating, over-stating my case when I call an adorable, bug-eyed trollop like a Pug dog 'something akin to the hussy from hell' but I know of where I speak, for I have lived a greater part of my down-trodden life as a victim of a number of so-called 'Pug pets' that go terroirzing the family who are silly enough to own one, so I know of where I speak.

History of Notorious Creature

The Pug is believed to have originated from China, and according to researchers is an oriental breed, who's true origins are shrouded in mystery, and that, in my opinion, is where they should stay, lest anyone find out the truth and thereby bring on The Apocalypse .

The black pug appeared on the 900-1000's in Japan it is said, and was used as a dog in court as can be seen in this portrait of the Russian princess Ekaterina Dmitriev Golitsyn on display at the Pushkin Museum of Fine Arts.

It is thought by those in the know, that the pug came (or rather smuggled himself in some devious manner) into Europe in the company of sailors of the Netherlands and France in the 1500s which is where, it is my theory, that he picked-up his love for rum, his utter delight in bullying, and his total disregard for ethics,morals and manners--particularly manners.

The Black Pug.......... A criminal of the highest order.

My many experiences with pug dogs of my own over the years allows me to make some sweeping generalizations concerning the breed because I still have the scars to prove them. Not physical scars, mind you, as Pugs are rarely if ever stupid enough to leave behind tangible evidence of their attacks,parlays,dives,dunks and demolishons.

The wily brain of this canine terrorist is far beyond that of any other breed, (for example I've seen a pug literally have a hard time keeping a straight face when talking to, say, a goofy sheepdog, or a poncy poodle.

The pug is far superior not only to these poor slouches but I would venture to say, to most humans as well.


The way a pug dogs thinks can be summed up in one concept, one tactic of our subject, (i.e. the Canis farmiliaris) is what I call the uncanny ability this fellow has of appearing virtually, angelically, and haplessly innocent--his face is untarnished and irreproachable, indeed, I would even say he exudes a certain helplessness as his two, bulging, globular orbs goggle you with all the blamelessness of an empty-headed babe in the woods.

You may fall for this 'look' the but what you do not know, what you are completely in the dark about, is what is going on behind those protuberant marbles, those two seemingly independent 'peepers' that seem to roll about in his head like two distinct, unconnected scanners. The plotting, the ploys, the calculating brain that is burning oil like a steam engine ascending a 45 degree slope, all with the goal of bringing you down, of crushing you, of asserting some dastardly trickery....that is what is going on behind the benign visage his face presents.

Make no mistake, to the Pug dog, everyone else is a blubber-head.

He makes no exceptions. The world is his oyster and we are his playthings that he pulls out of his toy-box to amuse himself in between his next meal or his next nap. Beware I say.

Beware this imp of the perverse, for his little black face, and his tiny piggy nose are mere artifice which he employs to the utmost in the carrying-out of his demonic wizardry upon you, or as he calls you 'the cabbage-headed jackass.

Having said all this, I wouldn't trade a pug dog for any dog in the world.

They are simply irresistible.

pug dog with independent eyes
pug dog with independent eyes

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