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How to Make Friends with a Cat

Updated on July 11, 2014

Cats are famous for being aloof, indifferent, independent and for looking down at their mere human owner. But that couldn’t be further from the truth. Cats are loving, intelligent sociable beings. They know who you are and they want to be part of your life. They will come up to you and demand to be played with and when a cat wants something they let you know in no uncertain terms.

Yes, Cats are people too.

Each cat has a different personality. Some of them are lazy, preferring to sit on your lap and rest their head against your knees occasionally pawing them to get a more comfortable spot. Other, more adventurous cats, leave home and roam through the neighbourhood climbing trees, sniffing the ground for scents, hunting mice and having a whale of a time. Cats have been seen going into neighbourhood properties to steal the food that they provide their own pets.

They’re not bound by human rules but they are bound by their own code of conduct. When you have a cat you’re supposed to feed them when THEY want to be fed, pet them when THEY want to be petted, and leave them the hell alone when they want that too.

Tame a cat

So, how do you become friends with your cats?
It’s easiest when you get them from young. Constant petting, attention and kindness will make friends out of the cat before he or she even has the chance to come to an opinion about you. Most cat owners agree that this bond can be a very strong one – the cat will know when you are upset and if he or she decides to, will come over to rub her legs against you to make you less upset.

When you’re dealing with a new cat the problems mount up quite quickly. A farm cat or a wild cat probably never will become completely tame. Instead, you have to build up the trust over a long period of time by showing that you deserve it. Start by feeding the animal. Make sure that you do it in a way that isn’t threatening; for example you can put out the food and then walk fifty metres away from it. The cat can see you but you’re far enough away that the cat wouldn’t feel scared.

Over time get closer to the food. Make sure that the Cat is never scared and that if it seems to be wary you back away. You want to build up the trust over a long period of time. You don’t want to give the cat any bad experiences of you.

Finally, the cat may allow you to be close to it.

After a while the cat will be used to this and you can offer your hand to it to smell. Make sure that you have the hand downwards, and if the cat isn’t interested make sure that you don’t try to force the issue. Just keep on offering the hand to it.

Finally, the cat may allow you to touch it lightly for a very short period of time. It may take many months before it will allow you to do this, or maybe even longer.

Have you ever tamed a wild cat?

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Once the cat allows you to touch itself then you’re home dry. Just keep on feeding, showing the cat attention and you will become deeper friends with it.

Now that I’ve said that you’re probably going to ask me whether I believe humans and cats can become friends? Well, it’s true that cats are more independent than dogs. That’s just the way things are. But Cats are very affectionate with people that they like and trust. They know your routines and they are often ready to play.

It’s important to make sure that the cat is kept occupied through toys, attention, and having an access to the outside world or other cats. A cat kept in a home by itself all day is going to develop stress behaviours just the same as any other creature. It’s important that they are allowed to socialise. Otherwise, they’ll eventually become very stressed and start to make a mess of your home – which you really don’t want. They’ll also be more liable to running away or making trouble.

Staying Friends with your Cat

Once you’ve made friends with your cat it is important to maintain the relationship. You do this by continuing to build trust, by showing affection to the cat, and never mistreating it. Make sure that you regularly make a fuss of your cat by stroking it and talking to it.

Never get angry at a cat for doing things that are natural to it – although of course you should train it to use a litter box and try to make sure that it has a scratching post and that it isn’t allowed to get too bored.

It’s natural for cats to make mistakes, or to mark their territory. Try to notice if there is anything setting off these behaviours like boredom, stress – for example because a neighbourhood tom cat is invading your cats territory – or fear of abandonment.

When you’ve tamed a wild cat you can expect more problems than you’d experience if you have a cat from birth. Don’t be surprised if this happens. It’s probably quite normal.

Have fun with your cat!

They’re gorgeous, intelligent and often funny creatures that will repay the effort that you put into making them happy tenfold.

Cats and Children

Cats generally get on with young children very well. It’s important that for the first years of life you supervise any contact your children have with cats because they can sometimes play too rough for a young child.

While incredibly rare there have been stories about cats attacking children if they are annoyed. But in my experience mostly cats just run away!

Finally, as a reward for reading through all this verbage a cute little video!


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