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New Years' Resolutions by the Cats

Updated on December 31, 2013
That's me, Jigsaw Puzzle, trying to catch a few z's, with one of my sisfurs, "Lil Miss" thinking I'm her private pillow!
That's me, Jigsaw Puzzle, trying to catch a few z's, with one of my sisfurs, "Lil Miss" thinking I'm her private pillow! | Source

A Long List

Oh, there is so much to do! And so little time between naps. Nevertheless, I've tried to come up with a list of things for our household of cats to achieve for the New Year. Of course, we are all different ages, so we are not real siblings, but siblings-in-fur, my "brofurs" and "sisfurs," if you will.

Oh, I beg your pardon. Allow me to introduce myself. I am Jigsaw Puzzle, Esq., and I am the official spokes-cat for the "Talk With the Paws" crew. Some of you may know me and my fur siblings from our blog of the same name.

This list is a compilation of suggestions from a 2:a.m. meeting held this past week. After each item on the list, I've added the name of the cat who presented the idea. Must give credit where credit is due, after all.

Improving on Old Tricks

  1. Find more efficient ways to block mom's view of her computer monitor, so she is forced to pay more attention to me! (Nugget)
  2. Practice harder scratching at the office door and improve on pathetic meows so mom lets me in. (Bobbie)
  3. Find a better hiding place to suck my tail in peace; it soothes me. (Tigger)
  4. Try and grow taller so when I stand on dad's desk, I can see his TV better, and he will see me better! (Lil' Miss)
  5. Learn to turn on the bathroom tap by myself, so I don't have to wait on my dense servants to come do it for me. (Munchkin)
  6. Perfect my timing and paw placement when launching off laps to coincide with the servant's need to use the human litter box. (me--Jigsaw)
  7. Sleep more; wander around the garage more; oh, and sleep. (Patches)
  8. Get better at opening dad's drapes so he wakes up earlier. (Nugget)
  9. Perfect the art of losing toys under furniture. (Bobbie)
  10. Get better at being underfoot and acting outraged when stepped upon. (Tigger)
  11. More practice on pathetic meowling--my voice is too tiny. (Lil' Miss)
  12. Get better at hiding from claw trimmer. (Munchkin)
  13. Learn to beg and steal toys from the others. (me, Jigsaw)
  14. "Yawn. What? Oh. Go away, I'm sleeping." (Patches)

Do any of you other kitties make resolutions?

See results

A Good Beginning

I think this is a pretty good list to start with. We didn't really come up with any brand-new things to do or learn, because, after all, we are cats, so we pretty much know everything already. It's merely a matter of achieving perfection.

That should be easy, since we are so near perfect already.

Well, what do you think of our list of New Year's Resolutions? Any suggestions you can think of to add to our prowess would be kindly received.

Please Leave Your Additional Suggestions Here:

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  • DzyMsLizzy profile image
    Author

    Liz Elias 3 years ago from Oakley, CA

    Hi, AliciaC--

    You are right in keeping your cats "in the dark," as it were--they get quite enough ideas all by themselves. LOL Thanks so much for stopping by and leaving a cute comment. All the best!

  • AliciaC profile image

    Linda Crampton 3 years ago from British Columbia, Canada

    This hub is very funny! I won't let my cats see it though, because I know that it would give them some interesting ideas!

  • DzyMsLizzy profile image
    Author

    Liz Elias 3 years ago from Oakley, CA

    Hi, Audrey,

    Yes, they are very funny, and they can get into SUCH trouble, and be so danged cute about it that you cannot stay cross with them.

    Dogs will also talk to you, including scold you for being away from home too long, "How DARE you go to work and leave me all day! "

    LOL Thanks much for stopping by!

  • AudreyHowitt profile image

    Audrey Howitt 3 years ago from California

    Cats are funny aren't they? My dog will talk to me when I am not paying enough attention

  • DzyMsLizzy profile image
    Author

    Liz Elias 3 years ago from Oakley, CA

    LOL, wildove5; indeed they do!

  • wildove5 profile image

    wildove5 3 years ago from Cumberland, R.I.

    Of course it was them,,,LOL I'd say I trained them well but, we know they train us better! :)

  • DzyMsLizzy profile image
    Author

    Liz Elias 3 years ago from Oakley, CA

    Hello, wildove5,

    LOL--you are so right---and when they are stealthy about it...they usually manage to get it inside your slipper, or right where you first put your foot getting out of bed.

    I have rather frequent trouble with these furball mines: one of my senior kitties is a longhair who sucks his own tail while "mushing." .. He's done it since he was a kitten, so i guess there's no breaking him of it now. :-(

    If it is daytime, and I catch them trying to hurl, I attempt to not only get them onto a hard surface floor at least, but if possible, hold them with their head over the litter box! I had a dog years ago that I managed to train to "ask out" if he was going to barf; I keep hoping the cats will get the idea, but they don't. Spiteful little dickens, aren't they? Gotta love 'em.

    Thanks so much for adding that important resolution for them! I'm sure, actually that your cats stole your computer while you weren't looking, so they could suggest that. ;-)

  • wildove5 profile image

    wildove5 3 years ago from Cumberland, R.I.

    You forgot one,,,I must try to cough softer when trying to expel a fur/food ball, this will aide me in avoiding being picked up from the soft carpeted spot next to my humans bed, only to be tossed onto the cold hard tiled floor. Yes, I have cats! Love them but hate the sound of them heaving up a fur ball, and they always seem to know the best places and worst times to start hacking. Thanks for sharing!!

  • DzyMsLizzy profile image
    Author

    Liz Elias 3 years ago from Oakley, CA

    Hello, WriterJanis,

    I'm glad you enjoyed this bit of nonsense. Cats are the best, aren't they? Thanks so much for stopping by!

  • WriterJanis profile image

    Janis 3 years ago from California

    This was adorable to read. I think some our cats must be related. LOL

  • DzyMsLizzy profile image
    Author

    Liz Elias 3 years ago from Oakley, CA

    LOL, Writer Fox! I'm not sure what Hub Pages' take would be on pseudo-authors who are actually cats!

    They do have their own platform on a blog. (Sadly, though, it's been rather neglected of late, as we've had so many personal issues that I haven't been able to spare the time to allow them to use the computer.)

    Glad you liked this bit of silliness. Thanks very much for your enchanting comment!

  • Writer Fox profile image

    Writer Fox 3 years ago from the wadi near the little river

    I think the cats need their own HubPages accounts. Can't wait to see the Profile pictures. Enjoyed!

  • DzyMsLizzy profile image
    Author

    Liz Elias 3 years ago from Oakley, CA

    Hello, MsDora,

    Cats do indeed make interesting companions! Thanks so much for stopping by; I'm glad you enjoyed this bit of whimsy.

  • MsDora profile image

    Dora Weithers 3 years ago from The Caribbean

    Enjoyable talking with cats! Creative and interesting!

  • DzyMsLizzy profile image
    Author

    Liz Elias 3 years ago from Oakley, CA

    Hello, grand old lady,

    All of my cats have always been indoor-only. They do indeed have a great deal of personality, and are very loving. Thanks so much for stopping by and commenting.

  • grand old lady profile image

    Mona Sabalones Gonzalez 3 years ago from Philippines

    I've never had an indoor cat, but this article shows that they have so much personality!

  • DzyMsLizzy profile image
    Author

    Liz Elias 3 years ago from Oakley, CA

    @ FlourishAnyway--What a purrfect comment! Love folks who also ‘speak cat.’ LOL You know, I think you’re right; no one is quite so determined as a cat that wants its own way! Thanks much for the votes and share! May the New Year bring you and yours all the best.

    @ Cnicole83--So glad you enjoyed this bit of nonsense. Every now and then, we must try not to take ourselves to seriously, and re-enter the land of pretend! Many thanks for your comment, and yes, you’d better check on your kitties. Purrrhaps you could distract them with a bit o’ nip! A very happy New Year to you!

    @ heidithorne--Ah, yes, dogs, too have their own mischief agendas and stunningly cute tricks to keep you from being angry with them for long. Happy New Year to you and your doggie ‘kids!’ Our fur children are indeed wonderful, are they not?!

  • heidithorne profile image

    Heidi Thorne 3 years ago from Chicago Area

    I think my dogs have a similar resolution list! Happy New Year to you and your cat "kids!"

  • CNicole83 profile image

    CNicole83 3 years ago

    Love this! Voted up!! Now I must go check with my kitty crew to see their opinion on this and if they have any resolutions!!!

  • FlourishAnyway profile image

    FlourishAnyway 3 years ago from USA

    What a purrfect list of New Years resolutions, and I have a feeling these will have a better chance of being achieved than most. Happy 2014! Voted up +++ and sharing.

  • DzyMsLizzy profile image
    Author

    Liz Elias 3 years ago from Oakley, CA

    Hello, prasetio30,

    Thank you. Glad you enjoyed this bit of trivia; if you have cats, check to see if they took notes. Hahaha. Thanks for the votes!

  • prasetio30 profile image

    prasetio30 3 years ago from malang-indonesia

    Great new year resolutions. Many cats will love this hub..hahaha. Funny and beautiful. Voted up :-)

    Prasetio

  • DzyMsLizzy profile image
    Author

    Liz Elias 3 years ago from Oakley, CA

    @ catgypsy--I do think most cats are on the same wavelength; if yours have a similar list, though, we might want to double-check our phone bills! I'm glad you enjoyed this bit, and my blog. I fear the blog has been rather neglected this year. Hopefully, I can get back to it in the New Year. A very Happy New Year to you and yours as well!

    @ Tom Schumacher--Your cats sound like they were priceless gems. What a funny habit Madie had! I've never had a cat do that. One of ours does always try to sneak into the laundry room and paw open one of the storage cupboards, but not all of the cabinets in the kitchen or bath. What a hoot! I'd better watch out; mine might be taking notes, here. Glad I was able to revive pleasant memories for you. Thanks so much for sharing and for the vote!

  • Tom Schumacher profile image

    Tom Schumacher 3 years ago from Huntington Beach, CA

    Funny! As a kid we had a couple of cats. I always enjoyed watching their playful behavior, remarkable physical abilities, and odd personalities. One of our cats - Madie – every night would go around the kitchen and bathrooms and open cupboard doors. She merely wanted to look what was inside, sometimes taking a short break or a long nap, and then move on to the next one. Hilarious yet annoying given the next morning it looked like somebody ransacked our house. ~ Thanks for bringing back good memories. Voted up.

  • catgypsy profile image

    catgypsy 3 years ago from the South

    This is so funny...thanks for a good laugh! My cats have a similar list and I know they are going to try all of their resolutions out on me! I looked at your blog...very nice! Happy New Year!

  • DzyMsLizzy profile image
    Author

    Liz Elias 3 years ago from Oakley, CA

    Hello, Audrey--

    Thanks so very much for the votes and share. I'm tickled 'kitty-paw-pink' that you so enjoyed this bit of fluff!

  • vocalcoach profile image

    Audrey Hunt 3 years ago from Nashville Tn.

    What a fabulous way to close out 2013. I love this list of New Years Resolutions by the "Boared."

    If laughter is good for your health, I must be one healthy gal after reading this. Bravo! (Or should I say "Pawvro?" Up and clear across and sharing. - Audrey