ArtsAutosBooksBusinessEducationEntertainmentFamilyFashionFoodGamesGenderHealthHolidaysHomeHubPagesPersonal FinancePetsPoliticsReligionSportsTechnologyTravel

New Years' Resolutions by the Cats

Updated on June 25, 2018
DzyMsLizzy profile image

Liz loves animals. Seeing them ill, hurt, or killed breaks her heart. She advocates for "adopt, don't shop" and TNR programs for feral cats.

That's me, Jigsaw Puzzle, trying to catch a few z's, with one of my sisfurs, "Lil Miss" thinking I'm her private pillow!
That's me, Jigsaw Puzzle, trying to catch a few z's, with one of my sisfurs, "Lil Miss" thinking I'm her private pillow! | Source

A Long List

Oh, there is so much to do! And so little time between naps. Nevertheless, I've tried to come up with a list of things for our household of cats to achieve for the New Year. Of course, we are all different ages, so we are not real siblings, but siblings-in-fur, my "brofurs" and "sisfurs," if you will.

Oh, I beg your pardon. Allow me to introduce myself. I am Jigsaw Puzzle, Esq., and I am the official spokes-cat for the "Talk With the Paws" crew. Some of you may know me and my fur siblings from our blog of the same name.

This list is a compilation of suggestions from a 2:a.m. meeting held this past week. After each item on the list, I've added the name of the cat who presented the idea. Must give credit where credit is due, after all.

Improving on Old Tricks

  1. Find more efficient ways to block mom's view of her computer monitor, so she is forced to pay more attention to me! (Nugget)
  2. Practice harder scratching at the office door and improve on pathetic meows so mom lets me in. (Bobbie)
  3. Find a better hiding place to suck my tail in peace; it soothes me. (Tigger)
  4. Try and grow taller so when I stand on dad's desk, I can see his TV better, and he will see me better! (Lil' Miss)
  5. Learn to turn on the bathroom tap by myself, so I don't have to wait on my dense servants to come do it for me. (Munchkin)
  6. Perfect my timing and paw placement when launching off laps to coincide with the servant's need to use the human litter box. (me--Jigsaw)
  7. Sleep more; wander around the garage more; oh, and sleep. (Patches)
  8. Get better at opening dad's drapes so he wakes up earlier. (Nugget)
  9. Perfect the art of losing toys under furniture. (Bobbie)
  10. Get better at being underfoot and acting outraged when stepped upon. (Tigger)
  11. More practice on pathetic meowling--my voice is too tiny. (Lil' Miss)
  12. Get better at hiding from claw trimmer. (Munchkin)
  13. Learn to beg and steal toys from the others. (me, Jigsaw)
  14. "Yawn. What? Oh. Go away, I'm sleeping." (Patches)

Do any of you other kitties make resolutions?

See results

A Good Beginning

I think this is a pretty good list to start with. We didn't really come up with any brand-new things to do or learn, because, after all, we are cats, so we pretty much know everything already. It's merely a matter of achieving perfection.

That should be easy, since we are so near perfect already.

Well, what do you think of our list of New Year's Resolutions? Any suggestions you can think of to add to our prowess would be kindly received.


Since this article was written, two of the fur crew have crossed the Rainbow Bridge:

Patches in 2015, and Tigger in 2016. May they both run happy and carefree until we meet again.

© 2013 Liz Elias

Please Leave Your Additional Suggestions Here:

Submit a Comment
  • DzyMsLizzy profile imageAUTHOR

    Liz Elias 

    3 years ago from Oakley, CA

    Hi Audrey!

    Thanks. I'm glad you got a kick out of this bit of nonsense!

    We are keeping as cool as possible, and I almost feel sorry for the cats with their built-in fur coats! The A/C is running 24/7 this week!

    I know what you mean about missing a cat. Even though we have a full house right now, I still sorely miss those who have passed on in prior years.

  • vocalcoach profile image

    Audrey Hunt 

    3 years ago from Pahrump NV

    Clever, witty, and fun! I miss my cat. Hope you're keeping cool Liz!

  • DzyMsLizzy profile imageAUTHOR

    Liz Elias 

    3 years ago from Oakley, CA

    What a bummer, C E! I'll be sure NOT to have any allergy testing done! I'm so sorry that happened to you.

    Interestingly, both my grandsons (a pair of brothers) were "allergic to cats" when they were very young; until they got a cat. After about a week, allergies were all gone, and they have no problems now. (They're both adults at this point.) That's a different approach to the problem called "immersion therapy."

    Different things work for different people, I guess.

    I've had hay fever ever since I was about 12, and I've had a cat since I was in my late 20s. We now have 10 cats in the house (at the moment; 2 of them are kittens I'm fostering for a rescue group).

    I do a certain amount of the dry-tickle coughing routine, and some sneezing, but it's no worse than my hay fever.

    So, I expect I'm probably somewhat allergic to the cats (or to some of them, depending on fur characteristics), but, I don't care! I love them, and they're worth it to me.

  • Au fait profile image

    C E Clark 

    3 years ago from North Texas

    Cats really do add personality to a home, don't you think?

    I had a cat for several years and then got tested for allergies. They did the scratch tests on my back and the under the skin (similar to TB test) on both of my arms -- 7 such tests on each arm. Prior to that I could rub my face on my cat, but after the tests I had to get rid of the cat. The tests made me allergic to cats where I never had been before. Now I'm allergic to all animals and pretty much everything else too! Need to have my own bubble.

    Cute article!

  • DzyMsLizzy profile imageAUTHOR

    Liz Elias 

    7 years ago from Oakley, CA

    Hi, AliciaC--

    You are right in keeping your cats "in the dark," as it were--they get quite enough ideas all by themselves. LOL Thanks so much for stopping by and leaving a cute comment. All the best!

  • AliciaC profile image

    Linda Crampton 

    7 years ago from British Columbia, Canada

    This hub is very funny! I won't let my cats see it though, because I know that it would give them some interesting ideas!

  • DzyMsLizzy profile imageAUTHOR

    Liz Elias 

    7 years ago from Oakley, CA

    Hi, Audrey,

    Yes, they are very funny, and they can get into SUCH trouble, and be so danged cute about it that you cannot stay cross with them.

    Dogs will also talk to you, including scold you for being away from home too long, "How DARE you go to work and leave me all day! "

    LOL Thanks much for stopping by!

  • AudreyHowitt profile image

    Audrey Howitt 

    7 years ago from California

    Cats are funny aren't they? My dog will talk to me when I am not paying enough attention

  • DzyMsLizzy profile imageAUTHOR

    Liz Elias 

    7 years ago from Oakley, CA

    LOL, wildove5; indeed they do!

  • wildove5 profile image


    7 years ago from Cumberland, R.I.

    Of course it was them,,,LOL I'd say I trained them well but, we know they train us better! :)

  • DzyMsLizzy profile imageAUTHOR

    Liz Elias 

    7 years ago from Oakley, CA

    Hello, wildove5,

    LOL--you are so right---and when they are stealthy about it...they usually manage to get it inside your slipper, or right where you first put your foot getting out of bed.

    I have rather frequent trouble with these furball mines: one of my senior kitties is a longhair who sucks his own tail while "mushing." .. He's done it since he was a kitten, so i guess there's no breaking him of it now. :-(

    If it is daytime, and I catch them trying to hurl, I attempt to not only get them onto a hard surface floor at least, but if possible, hold them with their head over the litter box! I had a dog years ago that I managed to train to "ask out" if he was going to barf; I keep hoping the cats will get the idea, but they don't. Spiteful little dickens, aren't they? Gotta love 'em.

    Thanks so much for adding that important resolution for them! I'm sure, actually that your cats stole your computer while you weren't looking, so they could suggest that. ;-)

  • wildove5 profile image


    7 years ago from Cumberland, R.I.

    You forgot one,,,I must try to cough softer when trying to expel a fur/food ball, this will aide me in avoiding being picked up from the soft carpeted spot next to my humans bed, only to be tossed onto the cold hard tiled floor. Yes, I have cats! Love them but hate the sound of them heaving up a fur ball, and they always seem to know the best places and worst times to start hacking. Thanks for sharing!!

  • DzyMsLizzy profile imageAUTHOR

    Liz Elias 

    7 years ago from Oakley, CA

    Hello, WriterJanis,

    I'm glad you enjoyed this bit of nonsense. Cats are the best, aren't they? Thanks so much for stopping by!

  • WriterJanis profile image


    7 years ago from California

    This was adorable to read. I think some our cats must be related. LOL

  • DzyMsLizzy profile imageAUTHOR

    Liz Elias 

    7 years ago from Oakley, CA

    LOL, Writer Fox! I'm not sure what Hub Pages' take would be on pseudo-authors who are actually cats!

    They do have their own platform on a blog. (Sadly, though, it's been rather neglected of late, as we've had so many personal issues that I haven't been able to spare the time to allow them to use the computer.)

    Glad you liked this bit of silliness. Thanks very much for your enchanting comment!

  • Writer Fox profile image

    Writer Fox 

    7 years ago from the wadi near the little river

    I think the cats need their own HubPages accounts. Can't wait to see the Profile pictures. Enjoyed!

  • DzyMsLizzy profile imageAUTHOR

    Liz Elias 

    7 years ago from Oakley, CA

    Hello, MsDora,

    Cats do indeed make interesting companions! Thanks so much for stopping by; I'm glad you enjoyed this bit of whimsy.

  • MsDora profile image

    Dora Weithers 

    7 years ago from The Caribbean

    Enjoyable talking with cats! Creative and interesting!

  • DzyMsLizzy profile imageAUTHOR

    Liz Elias 

    7 years ago from Oakley, CA

    Hello, grand old lady,

    All of my cats have always been indoor-only. They do indeed have a great deal of personality, and are very loving. Thanks so much for stopping by and commenting.

  • grand old lady profile image

    Mona Sabalones Gonzalez 

    7 years ago from Philippines

    I've never had an indoor cat, but this article shows that they have so much personality!

  • DzyMsLizzy profile imageAUTHOR

    Liz Elias 

    7 years ago from Oakley, CA

    @ FlourishAnyway--What a purrfect comment! Love folks who also ‘speak cat.’ LOL You know, I think you’re right; no one is quite so determined as a cat that wants its own way! Thanks much for the votes and share! May the New Year bring you and yours all the best.

    @ Cnicole83--So glad you enjoyed this bit of nonsense. Every now and then, we must try not to take ourselves to seriously, and re-enter the land of pretend! Many thanks for your comment, and yes, you’d better check on your kitties. Purrrhaps you could distract them with a bit o’ nip! A very happy New Year to you!

    @ heidithorne--Ah, yes, dogs, too have their own mischief agendas and stunningly cute tricks to keep you from being angry with them for long. Happy New Year to you and your doggie ‘kids!’ Our fur children are indeed wonderful, are they not?!

  • heidithorne profile image

    Heidi Thorne 

    7 years ago from Chicago Area

    I think my dogs have a similar resolution list! Happy New Year to you and your cat "kids!"

  • CNicole83 profile image


    7 years ago

    Love this! Voted up!! Now I must go check with my kitty crew to see their opinion on this and if they have any resolutions!!!

  • FlourishAnyway profile image


    7 years ago from USA

    What a purrfect list of New Years resolutions, and I have a feeling these will have a better chance of being achieved than most. Happy 2014! Voted up +++ and sharing.

  • DzyMsLizzy profile imageAUTHOR

    Liz Elias 

    7 years ago from Oakley, CA

    Hello, prasetio30,

    Thank you. Glad you enjoyed this bit of trivia; if you have cats, check to see if they took notes. Hahaha. Thanks for the votes!

  • prasetio30 profile image


    7 years ago from malang-indonesia

    Great new year resolutions. Many cats will love this hub..hahaha. Funny and beautiful. Voted up :-)


  • DzyMsLizzy profile imageAUTHOR

    Liz Elias 

    7 years ago from Oakley, CA

    @ catgypsy--I do think most cats are on the same wavelength; if yours have a similar list, though, we might want to double-check our phone bills! I'm glad you enjoyed this bit, and my blog. I fear the blog has been rather neglected this year. Hopefully, I can get back to it in the New Year. A very Happy New Year to you and yours as well!

    @ Tom Schumacher--Your cats sound like they were priceless gems. What a funny habit Madie had! I've never had a cat do that. One of ours does always try to sneak into the laundry room and paw open one of the storage cupboards, but not all of the cabinets in the kitchen or bath. What a hoot! I'd better watch out; mine might be taking notes, here. Glad I was able to revive pleasant memories for you. Thanks so much for sharing and for the vote!

  • Tom Schumacher profile image

    Tom Schumacher 

    7 years ago from Huntington Beach, CA

    Funny! As a kid we had a couple of cats. I always enjoyed watching their playful behavior, remarkable physical abilities, and odd personalities. One of our cats - Madie – every night would go around the kitchen and bathrooms and open cupboard doors. She merely wanted to look what was inside, sometimes taking a short break or a long nap, and then move on to the next one. Hilarious yet annoying given the next morning it looked like somebody ransacked our house. ~ Thanks for bringing back good memories. Voted up.

  • catgypsy profile image


    7 years ago from the South

    This is so funny...thanks for a good laugh! My cats have a similar list and I know they are going to try all of their resolutions out on me! I looked at your blog...very nice! Happy New Year!

  • DzyMsLizzy profile imageAUTHOR

    Liz Elias 

    7 years ago from Oakley, CA

    Hello, Audrey--

    Thanks so very much for the votes and share. I'm tickled 'kitty-paw-pink' that you so enjoyed this bit of fluff!

  • vocalcoach profile image

    Audrey Hunt 

    7 years ago from Pahrump NV

    What a fabulous way to close out 2013. I love this list of New Years Resolutions by the "Boared."

    If laughter is good for your health, I must be one healthy gal after reading this. Bravo! (Or should I say "Pawvro?" Up and clear across and sharing. - Audrey


This website uses cookies

As a user in the EEA, your approval is needed on a few things. To provide a better website experience, uses cookies (and other similar technologies) and may collect, process, and share personal data. Please choose which areas of our service you consent to our doing so.

For more information on managing or withdrawing consents and how we handle data, visit our Privacy Policy at:

Show Details
HubPages Device IDThis is used to identify particular browsers or devices when the access the service, and is used for security reasons.
LoginThis is necessary to sign in to the HubPages Service.
Google RecaptchaThis is used to prevent bots and spam. (Privacy Policy)
AkismetThis is used to detect comment spam. (Privacy Policy)
HubPages Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide data on traffic to our website, all personally identifyable data is anonymized. (Privacy Policy)
HubPages Traffic PixelThis is used to collect data on traffic to articles and other pages on our site. Unless you are signed in to a HubPages account, all personally identifiable information is anonymized.
Amazon Web ServicesThis is a cloud services platform that we used to host our service. (Privacy Policy)
CloudflareThis is a cloud CDN service that we use to efficiently deliver files required for our service to operate such as javascript, cascading style sheets, images, and videos. (Privacy Policy)
Google Hosted LibrariesJavascript software libraries such as jQuery are loaded at endpoints on the or domains, for performance and efficiency reasons. (Privacy Policy)
Google Custom SearchThis is feature allows you to search the site. (Privacy Policy)
Google MapsSome articles have Google Maps embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
Google ChartsThis is used to display charts and graphs on articles and the author center. (Privacy Policy)
Google AdSense Host APIThis service allows you to sign up for or associate a Google AdSense account with HubPages, so that you can earn money from ads on your articles. No data is shared unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
Google YouTubeSome articles have YouTube videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
VimeoSome articles have Vimeo videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
PaypalThis is used for a registered author who enrolls in the HubPages Earnings program and requests to be paid via PayPal. No data is shared with Paypal unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
Facebook LoginYou can use this to streamline signing up for, or signing in to your Hubpages account. No data is shared with Facebook unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
MavenThis supports the Maven widget and search functionality. (Privacy Policy)
Google AdSenseThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Google DoubleClickGoogle provides ad serving technology and runs an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Index ExchangeThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
SovrnThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Facebook AdsThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Amazon Unified Ad MarketplaceThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
AppNexusThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
OpenxThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Rubicon ProjectThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
TripleLiftThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Say MediaWe partner with Say Media to deliver ad campaigns on our sites. (Privacy Policy)
Remarketing PixelsWe may use remarketing pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to advertise the HubPages Service to people that have visited our sites.
Conversion Tracking PixelsWe may use conversion tracking pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to identify when an advertisement has successfully resulted in the desired action, such as signing up for the HubPages Service or publishing an article on the HubPages Service.
Author Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide traffic data and reports to the authors of articles on the HubPages Service. (Privacy Policy)
ComscoreComScore is a media measurement and analytics company providing marketing data and analytics to enterprises, media and advertising agencies, and publishers. Non-consent will result in ComScore only processing obfuscated personal data. (Privacy Policy)
Amazon Tracking PixelSome articles display amazon products as part of the Amazon Affiliate program, this pixel provides traffic statistics for those products (Privacy Policy)
ClickscoThis is a data management platform studying reader behavior (Privacy Policy)