Oooowww!

“Nice going, Horsie!

Would it have hurt you to pick up your hooves just a little bit more on those last few hundred yards through the canyon?

Or have you forgotten what Chiracahua war-bonnets looked like? Maybe you thought that long line of bows and spears along the red rock rim was just a fancy palisade erected by some misguided sodbuster with a landscape-design degree?

Have you already forgotten how close Cochise and his braves came to taking both our scalps at last Tuesday’s ambush? And I noticed you’ve been doggin’ it for quite a while, Horsie! Why, we couldn’t even take third place at last month’s rope-n-ride!

Well, forget any thoughts of feedbags full of fresh oats, my friend! You had better start getting your equine act together! You’ll be lucky to get even a brief brushdown tonight!

Oh, and one more thing — do you have any idea what happened to that last piece of beef jerky I was saving for the ride back to the fort?”