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People, Groundhogs and other Varmints

Updated on March 9, 2012


Ode to a Groundhog

There is a groundhog that lives at the end of my street. I call him "Gus". I see him almost every day as I pass by on my way to work. He isn't very old, and he seems to be very curious about all that is around him. There is a day care center across the street from the field he lives in, and the children all seem to get a kick out of watching this critter root around in the grass and in the small creek nearby. It is a pleasant sight to see Gus each morning, he is so carefree and oblivious to the problems that we humans have. I see several other groundhogs each day on the way to work and I always enjoy looking at them. But arriving at work always seems to cause my pastoral mood to be put on the back burner for about 9 hours. It is showtime. Back to the reality of dealing with the people that I am paid to serve.

"Paid to Serve". What a concept, just like what Robin Williams (as Mork) once said about reality. It is my observation that people who are expecting to be served in any venue are sometimes impatient, rude, a little obnoxious and even malicious at times (look at Yankee fans!). I have stood by my meat case and watched people destroy the display (like a varmint in your garden) that I or one of my co-workers have taken the time to set up. Knowing that we can't comment on their rude behavior (lest we lose our jobs), these obnoxious morons toss, flip, stack, drop, misplace and poke holes in the fresh meat packages. Do they get their jollies by doing this? Probably. Once in awhile, we will get a sympathizer that will actually straighten up after him/herself. But for the most part, they leave the case looking like Bigfoot was looking for a snack.

And speaking of Bigfoot (like the segue?), there has been a lot of hype lately about this "fictional" animal. Take it from me, Bigfoot exists. I'm a meat cutter, I know. I have heard a lot of explanations and theories about the existence of Sasquatch, but a co-worker who has followed the Bigfoot story for most of his life offered me this theory: Bigfoot is an alien, possibly from another plane within the space/time continuum. Why not? It sounds logical, and is the most sensible explanation I've heard. Look at Chewbacca, he's a Bigfoot. Time travel and planes within the continuum have been proven to exist by Einstein. Its good old fashion Quantum Physics, not too far off the "What ifs" of quantum theory you passed around the dinner table as a kid (we did at our table, anyway).

Anyway, I'm rambling.

It was a busy day today. I was anxious to get off, into my car, crank up the tunes and set the cruise control. It's about a 24 minute drive up the highway to get home. That is ample time to unwind and relax, to put the thoughts of annoying customers out of my head. But when I turned onto the end of my street, my heart sank, for there on the shoulder of the road was Gus, still and motionless.

"Damned varmints." I thought.

The entire contents of this writing, and all writings previous to this one, including the name “Lulawissie”, are the original work of Delbert Banks and are protected by the copyright laws of the United States of America. © 2010 By Delbert Banks


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