Please Don't Poop In My Yard

The other day I had to make a delivery to my parent’s house.  It was early morning (before 8 am) and I am not a morning person because I am a night owl. So I was barely awake but not in a bad mood at all.  When I pull up to my parent’s house I grab the stuff I need from the front seat and proceed to get out of my car. I take one step with my stuff in hand, turn around and squish “Oh Sh*t!” I thought to myself and said out loud.  And oh boy was that the truth. I had stepped right smack dab into a fresh pile of dog poop. So the next few minutes were the “get the poop off of the shoe while balancing everything in my hands” dance. The only problem was that while I was trying to get the poop off of one shoe my other foot landed in another pile.  What the hell?!?  I was livid by now and it would take a few moments for me to get back to that happy place. As I surveyed the grass along the sidewalk outside of my parent’s house I see quite a few patches of poop scattered about.  By now I have completely lost it.  I take my stuff up to my parent’s house and come back out with gloves and plastic bags.  20 minutes later I have gotten up as much poop as I can stomach only dry heaving twice because luckily I had not had breakfast or there would be another surprise in the grass.

I love animals really I do.  I actually love most creatures even the ones that give me the creeps. When I was little I was known for getting off of my tricycle just to move a bug out of the way after all I didn’t want to squish them under my tires.  Although I have never been a dog owner I have owned a few cats in my time I currently do not have any pets mainly because I have allergies and so does one of my children.  This however does not mean that I don’t like animals. Like I said earlier I have great love for animals it is their human owners that really piss me off especially when they are totally disrespectful.

Now I have babysat enough dogs to know that dog poop is not a fun thing to have to deal with but I also understand that it is part of the responsibility of taking care of a dog.  Regardless I still see many dog owners walking their dogs and not picking up after them only to have innocent bystanders and non dog owners having to deal with the consequences on the bottom of their shoes.  I have gone so far as to yell out of my parent’s windows, dropping bags down so that the owner would pick up after their dog (of course they were cussing me out the whole time).  But come on now. I am not the dog owner here that is their responsibility.  Of course if they want to pay me then I am more than willing to accept responsibility.

Truly it is not that difficult to take care of a dog especially on a walk, after all that is what the walk is for; to get the dog exercise and to let the dog go poop.  These owners don’t understand the fact that they don’t want their dog to poop in their house nor does the general population want to walk through their dog poop. 

If you are such a dog owner here are a few simple steps you need to follow:

1. Carry a bag – Carry a plastic bag with you at all times, if it is hard to remember attach it to the leash, if you do not use a leash then we have a completely new topic to discuss.  

2. Buy a pooper scooper – There are now so many pooper scoopers out that make it easy for the owner to pick up poop some of them even do it all on their own.  There are so many to choose from I am sure you will find one that is right for you and your dog. 

3. Get a dog poop catcher – If you are still too lazy to pick up the poop then get your dog a dog poop catcher. This contraption catches the poop straight from the dogs butt.  No fuss no mess.  However it might take the dog a few tries to get used to it.

4. Hire a dog walker – Hiring a dog walker means that you won’t have to pick up poop yourself because you hired someone else to do that for you. 

5. Share the responsibility – Walk with your spouse, your kids or a friend and have them pick up the poop.  This way you are sharing the experience and the poop gets picked up.  

6. Teach your dog to use the potty – Train your dog to go poop in the toilet then you don’t have to worry about cleaning up after him/her.  No need for a pooper scooper or a plastic bag.  

You can see how easy it is to actually pick up dog poop. There are so many different alternatives other than just leaving the dog poop lying there for people like me to walk right through. So please people be responsible pick up your dog poop so that I don’t have to take drastic actions.