Respect Plus Snakes Equals Cooperation

__________Helpful Snake Tips __________________________________

Listen! Pay close attention. The ideas and thoughts are mine, and in all honesty, not to be taken seriously--although not all of the text is meant in this sense. In that thinking, I shall list a few of the things that YOU should NEVER do to or with a Poisonous Snake:

Never go hunting in the wilderness or dessert for rattlesnakes because they are Dangerous and if provoked, their fangs will be put in your leg faster than I can down a cup of coffee. If you are out a hike or camping trip and encounter a Rattlesnake, Copperhead, Cotton Mouth or Water Moccasin, do NOT run or lunge at them. Stay perfectly still and the snake when it sees you pose no threat will crawl away.

One good rule of thumb is when you are on a hike or camping trip and you are out on your own and decide to hike deeper into the woods, keep your cellphone on at all times--because if you meet a poisonous snake, and even if you respect it, be ready to call for help.

DO NOT and I cannot emphasize this enough . to pick-any poisonous snake (and if you are the desert area in Arizona and see a Gila Monster) because snakes are very fearful of mankind and will react in a defensive manner and you will be sorry. If you pay close attention to these tips, they might save your life.

NOTE: although there are various areas in the United States where people gather to "worship" God and handle poisonous snakes while they dance and sing just to prove that their faith is real. I really urge you to stay clear of this and any activity that is said to be a Test of Faith because in reality, it hinges on danger.

DO NOT attempt to feed any snake unless you have talked with a Snake Expert to tell you the Do's and Dont's of Snake Care. (I know that the photos in his piece display a snake eating a snack or a hefty dinner due to the snake having a really busy day---but the snakes who eat are fed by trained Snake Experts in any zoo that you visit.

DO NOT be foolish in the presence of a dangerous snake. In this case, "foolish" means: singing loudly; Dancing wild like Gene Kelly in "Dancing in The Rain," and laying on your stomach and try to do an impression of the snake that is just waiting to show you who's boss.

DO NOT try to be the first Snake Charmer on your block. You may be an American and not from India, so just hold off on taking Snake Charming Lessons and Buying a Cobra or two, just be happy with living in cooperation with our friends, the snakes.

__________Helpful Snake Tips for Humans ______________________

Yes, you read the headline correctly. I will now do my best to think like the snake since they cannot talk, read, or type on a laptop and maybe this will be the joining link to make my Snake Appreciation Idea get off and running.

NOTE: these tips are from Snakes to human beings, so please try to not be offended.

DO NOT try and outrun the big, bad human. The person who has stumbled upon you is probably an American who is out of shape and the most exercise they will get in any day will be going to pick up the paper at the end of the sidewalk . . .so to our friends, the Snake, just take it easy and crawl on to wherever you were crawling before this fat guy tried to step on you.

DO NOT knock on their door or ring their doorbell and try that old con about being on the road and you got lost just in order for you to smooze a free meal and a bed for nothing . . .besides, the crummy three-piece suit you are wearing is a dead give-away because this is waht all opportunistic snakes are wearing this year.

DO NOT be so short-sighted as to try and be romantic to any of the single women in any habitation, camping area or out hiking. You will come out a lot better to mingle with Female Snkes because they are low-maintenance and you will not be out a lot of money on buying them jewelry, mink stoles and designer shoes.

DO NOT be so pushy. Humans cannot stand that. What I mean by that is, do not talk to other snakes and try to form an Area Snake Union because human beings, (I hate to say this) are clever when it comes to "Calling up the Big Guns" and breaking-up any Reptile Union with tactics so brutal that I cannot put them here.

DO YOUR VERY BEST to show the humans that you meet that you are not an evil snake simply because your mouth looks like an evil snake, the kind a foe in any comic book looks when he/she thinks they have the hero in a close place. Just wink at them as you crawl away from them and do not pose a threatening posture to the humans because they get nervous very quickly, so be careful.

Snakes alive! It's time for me to go.
February 6, 2019_______________________________________________