Rest In Peace Lindsay

For any who have been following my articles you know I have written a few on my cat, Lindsay. My first was to chronicle her recovery from cancer, my happiness that she was going to be around for a long time to come. My last article was to get my feelings out about the discovery that the cancer had returned and really being unsure what we would do if faced with the possibility of having to pay for a new operation. Which is something difficult considering that we are not well off and the operation the first time was more than I had ever considered myself spending on a pet.

After my last hub we took Lindsay in for x-rays and unfortunately they identified cancer had spread to her lungs. At that point we realized even an operation to remove the cancer wasn't going to be possible. As Lindsay was not feeling any illness yet at that point we took her home and hoped that it would be awhile before we were faced with her death. My daughter and wife were very sad and I admit I was too.

But we believed that Lindsay had awhile to go and so on the advice of the vet we began giving her medications. One was a steroid type that had success shrinking tumors in the short term, one was a mild pain killer and one an antibiotic. Although we were hoping for the best only a few days after the x-rays Lindsay hit a wall. On a Thursday evening Lindsay began breathing heavy and appeared very docile, she was struggling to breath during the night and we thought she would die. We discussed taking her in to have her put down. It was a difficult conversation, especially when my daughter heard us.

But the next day the heavy breathing had subsided so we held off on doing what we new would be the eventuality. Over the weekend we also realized more was wrong though as she had not used her kitty litter box in a couple days and had not eaten in a few days. We found out the next day that Lindsay had been just peeing in her bed. She did finally go to her kitty litter box but only because she had to poop.

Monday morning we called to see if there was a chance they could see Lindsay but they were incredibly busy and so they scheduled us for the next day. She seemed a little better Monday and when we finally saw the vet the next day she was moving around, lifting her head and seemed to have a little energy, although she still had not eaten. The vet was little help but gave her an injection of painkillers. We took Lindsay home.

My wife used an small baster to squirt chicken broth and liquid baby food into Lindsay's mouth in a last attempt to feed her. Everything that had happened just seemed much to quick to be the cancer and we thought possibly she may have developed pneumonia so we hoped that feeding her and giving her back some strength would help. Later that night though she seemed worse, we wondered and still do about the painkillers the vet was injecting her with.

We called the vet the next morning and made an appointment to have her put down. At that point we knew we had little choice. Early afternoon before we could attend the appointment my daughter said Lindsay was twitching oddly. I looked at her and pet her and she seemed to be resting. At that point I could see her breathing. A few minutes later my daughter called me and said Lindsay was not moving but had one eye open. I came over and realized that Lindsay was dead. Her body was still very warm so she must have just died. She appeared to have buried her face in her bed and covered her eyes with her paws.

I let my wife know as she came out of the bathroom. My daughter cried her head off. I had to go outside and dig a hole near the back fence of our yard and there we laid Lindsay to rest. It wasn't a deep grave as there was still some ice and snow and I couldn't dig down very well but it was what I could do. We brought her out wrapped in her favorite blanket with cat paw prints on it.

I know that she was just an animal and that many may say that you shouldn't waste tears on non-humans. Maybe even I have thought that way before. But Lindsay was a part of our family for 9 years and came from my parents home originally where I grew up. She played with us, made us laugh and was a big piece of our life. With her gone there is a void and I can't deny that. I know it will take us a long time to get over what has happened but for now at least Lindsay's suffering is over.

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