The Top Ten Ways to Tell if Your Cat Is on Santa’s Naughty List

10. You find sticky paw prints on the kitchen floor.

9. Your goldfish mysteriously disappears while you are away at a holiday gathering.

8. You come home from shopping to find broken glass under the Christmas tree even though your Lab-Shepherd mix was with you the whole time.

7. The scarf you were knitting for an Angel Tree gift has shrunk to half its size, and you find one knitting needle under your bed.

6. Your parakeet, while apparently unharmed, develops a sudden verbal tick that resembles a sound track of feline love-making.

5. When your generally stand-offish kitty comes to snuggle on your lap, you realize he smells of eucalyptus and lavender, with undertones of the expensive musk you bought your sister for Christmas.

4. Your manger scene is accented with yellow cotton snow.

3. Your cat is sound asleep at ten o’clock on Christmas Eve, when you realize the pitcher of eggnog has been licked clean.

2. The Christmas card from your vet comes with a coupon to declaw your cat at no charge.

1. The first presents you see on Christmas morning are the little droppings a mouse left you the night before.