Xena, the Warrior Princess, and Assorted Potpourri
First I want to thank the members of the Hubpages family for giving me something to look forward to when I turn on my computer each morning. I wish you all the happiest of holidays. (11/23/2011)
I have had a great week, so far. There is a splendid custom in this area where the stores and markets all do deep discounting on many items, particularly food during the holiday season. When my wife and I went to a couple of stores to get the food for the upcoming Thanksgiving holiday, for once I was relieved. Usually, it is a time of great stress, my wallet bloats in my back pocket, my hind cheeks get tight and cuts off circulation and I get light headed. It is akin to a condemned man making that walk to the gallows, absolutely terrifying. Gosh, I have to pay over seven dollars for a #$$#%$ box of cereal.
Well, I went into the store and they were doing turkey promotions. I got 2 twenty pound turkeys for $12.00. I could not believe it, I saved so much money that I could take the leash from around my wife and actually let her go through the store to pick up other things and indulge herself, unsupervised. Then to top it off, she had some sort of coupon that we exchanged for a third turkey, free of charge. I felt all the blood rushing back into my face. She asked me how I was I going to get these birds in the limited freezer space. I told her that little Miss Amana, was going to accommodate and provide lodging for all of her new guests, one way or the other.
She, my wife, often times would refer to me as ‘anal’ because I am so concerned that the coconuts from the palms trees is a safety hazard and I will get hit on the head from a falling one. It turns out that my birthday falls on Thanksgiving this year and I was absorbed for a time looking up when in the past years such was the case and, within reasonable expectation of my life span, when I would see it occur again. Well, the last time was in 2005 and the next occurrence will be in 2016. It is becomes easy to see how I spend my times these days, further evidence of anality on display?
When this birthday comes, I always think of that date in the past, and how I celebrated and what I was doing. The year, 1963, always comes to mind, as the worse. The Kennedy assassination dominated everything on that awful week-end. I did not get my cake or candles. The mood was hardly festive; I only received a bible from my grandmother. As a kid, I asked why did all this have to happen on my special day. In 1985, my sister knowing my fondness of history gave me a rather macabre gift. This was a pencil sketch of the classic photograph of Lee Harvey Oswald being shot on November 24th 1963 by Jack Ruby in a Dallas parking garage. It was nice work and I have it hanging on the wall to this day.
Xena annoying the chickens!
Well, so much for the potpourri, now to this cat. Xena, the Warrior Princess, is an “aristocat”. A white cat with a paunch so obvious, slowing her down, so that even the birds in yard dismiss her as not a threat. With this cat, it is probably more princess and less warrior. She is spoiled and remained secured within our fenced compound at the house. I have never been much of an ‘animal person’. However, my wife loves the dogs and the little ‘furball’ all the same. Her royal highness is too good to eat table scraps. She is a “Tender Vituals” served in a crystal chalice sort of cat. I have got my butt chewed often times by my wife for bringing home “Brand X” tuna or buying tuna in oil rather than water. Xena won’t eat tuna that is soaked in oil. My wife complained once about not having enough tuna for her traditional tuna sandwiches for the day. I opened the cupboard and found plenty there. I asked her, what gives? She said that she had to sacrifice so that she would not cut into Xena’s expected tuna ration twice a day. Oh boy, right when you thought that you have heard it all. I am supposed to lavish this cat with opulence in exchange for the occasional mouse she dredges up on the property?
This Big Island has a problem with feral cats; strays are all over the place. My wife has me buy some cheaper cat food, (completely unacceptable to Xena) and put it out each night to feed the strays. She says that having the yard full of cats keep the mice at bay. Some of the cats are misbegotten, but the variety reflects the colors of the rainbow. I wanted to tell Xena, I bet that if you were out foraging like those strays were you would lose that paunch, fast. You have a lot for which to be thankful.
She has three dogs at her service to discourage the strays from moving into her territory during the day. We bring her and the dogs in at night, so that the strays can access the food we left for them. She has two humans that work for her as well. My wife asked me why did the cat keep using the litter box when she has the ample yard and vast open spaces to relieve herself. I told her that Xena used the box so that she would not deprive YOU of the privilege of cleaning up behind her. My more logical explanation is that any animal is vulnerable in the moments it is relieving itself. It would prefer to be in a place where there is no danger of attack, none whatsoever.
After all the gourmet food she receives daily, she still looks longingly at the chicken cutlet that I have for dinner. I say, you don’t mind, your worshipfulness, if your humble servant may be allowed to have his dinner in peace. Now, I need to discourage her from planting herself on my blanket in my bed, likes she owns the place. But in all actuality, she does!
