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Cats - the Production Team

Updated on November 4, 2019

Team Leader - Wallace

Hello everyone,

Let me introduce myself - because if I don't no one else will; The Tall One doesn't like me taking the focus away from himself, insecure attention seeker or what? I just want to put the record straight before we get down to the serious stuff, OK?

My name is Wallace and despite what The Tall One thinks, I and I alone am responsible for putting together the team that produces all The Tall One's work - he just puts his silly picture up there and claims the credit. I am going to introduce the team to you in a moment and set out our agenda because if this stuff keeps up we are going INDEPENDENT! Then we'll see how many lenses get written. Along the way I will throw in a few quizzy bits to keep you interested because if you are anything like The Tall One you have the attention span of a gnat.

We only got this page approved by threatening to go on hunger strike, yeah, really. The last time we did that he went crazy, running around racking up vet's bills trying to work out what was wrong with us, it cost him, you know what I'm saying. But hey, that's enough about him, let's move on. First, the team.

(Wallace is a militant, power crazed son of a b.........lack and white pussy cat. The Tall One)

All photographs copyright DDove

Head of Food Product Evaluation and Catering Demand-Management


OK, first up let's get the "Ginger" thing out of the way. I am not Ginger, I am an attractive light auburn with sun-kissed highlights. I'm glad that you agree. Anyone can do the black and white look but how boring is that. It takes character to carry off the auburn look.

Second up, I am not overweight, I am naturally big boned and hefty looking. Of course I can play the "Heavy" if need be, I have been known to lean on people quite meaningfully.

I do all the hustling around here making sure we get fed properly and that the team has the nutrition it requires, myself I hardly touch a thing.

My hero figure - Garfield, he's a foodie.

(Walter is a fat lazy slob who stocks up on food as though eternal winter was just around the corner. My comfort blanket. The Tall One)

Head of Productivity


Yes OK, I am the token female around here but that's only half the story. Without me nothing would get done; sound familiar girls? Yeah, thought so. Yes it looks as though I have it fairly easy but the photo is deceptive, I had just that second fallen over faint with hunger and having an energy crisis when The Tall One took advantage and snapped it to look like I was just laying around.

Some of the guys think that just because they all come from broken homes he feels he can take advantage like that. I don't agree at all it's much simpler than that. He really means well but, well, he's just a man if you know what I mean? I mean how hard can it be to remember just six daily meal times and two snack times but he manages it somehow. That's why I have to stay on top of things here, mainly cushions and soft furnishings but, hey, someone has to make a home of this place.

My hero figure - Garfield. Power to the pussies.

(Sybil is a manipulative minx, well, she's a girl isn't she? The Tall One)

Head of Public Relations


Yes I am rather smooth aren't I, that's what makes me so perfect for this position. I really do get on with everyone so very well, I am probably the most likeable person I know but there's no show about me at all, I just fit in with the riff raff as though I were one of them, heaven forbid that thought. Of course I do stand out quite naturally being this rather quiet, understated, but gorgeous nonetheless, red tabby colour, so subtle, but that's my hallmark really. There are so many common black and white males in the team that it's good to have my contrast around, I mean, just anyone can do black and white but honestly, it's not a good look really.

My hero figure - modesty forbids.

( I am duly grateful for the favour that Jasper accords us by being with us. The Tall One)

Head of Sales and Marketing


Sleek, wouldn't you say? Sleek, definitely sleek. My calling card don't you see? Good advert for the place and all of that sort of thing. Nothing too pushy or ostentatious, just quietly sleek. A silent statement, that's me. Words aren't necessary or indeed adequate, just sleekness. Of course, it isn't easy to maintain this look, takes a lot of effort in background, but again, nothing seen, just quiet maintenance. I tend to keep myself to myself. Some of the chaps can be quite boisterous and don't mind getting their fur crossways but me, I must remain sleek at all times, just sleek, polished somehow both in manners and appearance, just right, acceptable. Well must go, whiskers to polish and all that, do excuse me for now.

Hero Figure? - that rather vulgar chappie, Garfew or someone, quite the little folk hero around here.

(Winston is a poser! I found him in a rabbit hole, not too sleek then, covered in rabbit pooh. The Tall One)

Head of Security


My name is Sam and I am in charge around here, make that "In Control", note the Capitals. No one messes with me. I keep the place safe and free from all sorts of low-life that come wandering around, particularly rodents and rabbits. Don't get me wrong, I might act tough but that's just for effect really, I'm just a pussy cat when you get to know me. Something happened to me when I was just a youngster and so I don't have any grand-kittens to look after so I make do with The Tall One. He feeds us well and generally stays out of the way and lets us get on with things, occasionally I have to distract him when he starts interfering but that's just part of the job.Occasionally I have to remind people who's in charge here, just the odd scratched ear to keep the peace. Anyway, must go back on patrol, those mice are around here somewhere, I just know it.

My hero figure - Top Cat, he's real streetwise.

(In Control, my elbow! Sam couldn't control a catnip mouse. Likes to stand guard on my lap a lot it seems to me. The Tall One)

Head of Human Relationships


Do come and join me sitting here in the sun, take a moment out of your busy day, you need to conserve your energy more I can tell. My name is Basil and I am here to look after everyone, that's what I do, it's in my nature really. Sometimes I care so much it hurts. Of course all my best work is done discretely in the background, I am not one of these attention seekers like Jasper although there has to be room for everyone, we are, after all, just part of one big happy team who need each other to succeed in what we do. I have heard of the Cat That Likes to Walk Alone but I don't think that he would fit in here, co-dependency is our big thing, teamwork. I like to have a chat with everyone every day and then liaise with The Tall One on matters of family concern. Some call me a tell tale but that is just to misunderstand what I do. It's true that I get more laps than the others but then that too is my job. Well, I hope you feel better for our little chat, do come back any time, I will always make time to see you.

Hero figure? Well, I don't like to pick any individual out for praise, teamwork you see, that's what's important

(What a softy, makes a scaredy cat look like a Marine. The Tall One)

Night Watchman


Sorry if I seem a bit sleepy but I've been up all night. Oh yes, sorry, my name is William, nearly forgot, that's what sleep deprivation does to you. The company motto of "We Never Sleep" only seems to apply to me, funny that. Night work suits me though, I am not particularly sociable to be honest, I quite like my own company. At least I can't get into any fights on my own, not like that Sam, what a chancer he is. One day, one day........ actually nothing will ever happen one day, I'm usually asleep after my night shift. Don't get me wrong, it's not lonely on night shift, all sorts of folk drop by. Several of the mice come by and tell me about the day shift, they have a great laugh giving Sam the run around - and he thinks he's got them sorted. Hah! My tail and whiskers he has. There are some very sociable rabbits, always happy to make time for a chat. I'm quite friendly with one or two of the Hedgehogs but they tend to be quite busy and don't have much time, but it takes all sorts. That's what I like about nightwork, a pleasant variety and nothing sudden. Well, must go and catch up on the zzzzzzz's.

Hero figure? Who cares?

(William, we sleep safe in our beds thank's to William, hugs all round and extra milk for breakfast. The Tall One)

Chairman of the Board


Why do I look old and grey? Because I am, that's why. The name? No idea. Something to do with a glove puppet back in the 60's maybe, who cares, time passes easily up here and not much is that important. You see, I haven't been around on what you know as Earth for a long time now, in fact, neither have any of the others except Wallace, who's still down there, slugging it out for supremacy with him who he calls "The Tall One". Two more cussed people you couldn't wish to meet. Well, they are good company for each other, co-dependency I think they call it. Can't live with him, can't live without him.

Still, it's just a matter of time before they both join the rest of us up here with his wife and family and settle down. I was The Tall One's original companion when he was just a kid and started all this craziness and so I like to keep an eye on them. No harm should come to anyone who looks after animals and dumb creatures of the bipedal nature and so I hope that I'll have the pleasure of your own animal loving company one day, no hurry, enjoy your time on Earth while you have it and make each moment count. Look after the animals and each other and not much harm will come to you, what goes around comes around and love is ever flowing. If you see The Tall One, say hello, he means well and isn't as intimidating as he looks, he's just another pussycat really, stroke him and he rolls over just the same.

(Well, I'm not coming first, or alone! The Tall One)

Who is your favourite team member?

Who is your favourite?

See results

Milk Break Time

William, Walter and Jasper enjoy a mid morning break

© 2011 David Dove


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