Having To Say Goodbye To Our Dog!
Zena the worlds best dog.
I am writing today to tell you a story about the best dog in the world, "ZENA MARIE" . She was born on September 20, 2004. She came home to a wonderful family at two days old. Her daddy, Jr, took real good care of her, and he always had her baby book everywhere he went and was sure to show it off to everyone. He has every reason to brag about her. She was an American Bull Dog, not to be mistaken for a Pit-bull.
Zena went every where with her daddy. She would stay quietly in the van while daddy worked at different job sites. As she had been taken home early due to complications with her birth. Her daddy devoted all of his time to making sure that she was okay.
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The years go by so fast.
Time with our best friend
Zena would be waiting for her daddy to return, but while he was gone she would watch over the things he left behind in the vehicle. She would let others know that they were to close to her vehicle. There had been many times we would see people about drop to their knees. Playful all the time, wore me out when her daddy wasn't home.
Zena always commanded respect, especially when we walked down the street. People would cross the street. She would protect us from people she did not like. And if you were one she did not like you did not even set foot into our home. Zena is loved very much by all of us.
Then One Day
She was not looking well
But one day she got sick, and we took her in to the vet, she seemed to be getting better. And we were hopeful that all would be fine. We had made several Vet appointments. Starting in July 2012 was the first office visit. We were given some antibiotics for her and she seemed to be doing better. Then we started noticing that the spots that we had noticed on her back were starting to go away. Yippee and Hurray!
Well at least we thought she was doing better. Then we noticed that when she would try to jump up on to the bed she would miss. Well the first time we thought she just jumped too soon. Then she was having problems getting into the car. Her eye sight had started to go and now that we had gotten through all the hot summer months. Things were really noticeable, now. She was losing weight again. She didn't have any more weight to lose. So we schedule another appointment with the Vet that is closer to our house. They got us in right away. This time the vet comes out and looks at her for a minute and then says she wants her in an examining room. The Vet said she thought she knew what it was. And brings out a big book with pictures of what looked like what Zena had. Oh, great we thought, well let’s get her treated so that she will be better. Oh no, we can't just treat without having to do more testing.
We Love You! And there isn't a day that goes by that we don't think of you!
Having to say Goodbye
The sorrow it brings
I know I just wrote about this in the last section, so let’s recap, Zena lost weight very rapidly and there was no explanation as to why. A few more trips to the vet and still no answers. Her daddy and I were very worried about her. She is a member of the family; she had her quirks just like any other family member. Even up to the last days of her life. She was some sort of Dog Whisperer or something, because she started telling us that she was ready to go to sleep now. She was very tired.
As I watched her slowly go downhill, it broke my heart. Watching her and her daddy spending time together was so sad. And then I remembered my mom and dad having to go through the very same thing with our "Amigo" made me even sadder. But I tried to find the good in it even still. So, I convinced myself that the two of them were playing together in heaven and this was even before we had chosen to put her to sleep.
Remembering mom and dad’s dog, made things feel even worse for me. I know how much my dad loved "Amigo" too. And since it had only been a few months prior when they had lost their dog. It made everything seem to be that much more saddening. The only thing different is that Amigo had made his rounds through the house as if he were making sure my dad and mom were okay, then he laid down and went to sleep. My mom had gotten up early and he was still sleeping. But when my dad had gotten up Amigo had gone to the great journey beyond. My dad had been very sad too. And I recall my mom calling us to let us know that Amigo had passed. With this happening so recently, it had been fresh in my mind.
I did what I knew he would have done.
The Hardest Decision Ever..
I could not force the issue with him, he had to make the decision to let her go in his own time, and in his own way.
Where did the Strength Come From
The last few nights leading up to the day I had hoped I would not have to deal with, had come.
During the several days prior we had made our puppy as comfortable as we could. We had contemplated spending the money the Vet said we had to spend or to let her go the way that would be best for her. Well she was telling us what she wanted in her own little way. This was not an issue I wanted to have to push in any way shape or form. I knew he would make the right decision for himself and Zena. It had to be on his own time and in his own way.
Casey, Jr's son, had come by to see us on Friday night, and he almost broke down and cried when he saw the once vivacious dog he had grown up with and loved so very much. My three children also had loved the dog too, they may not have grown up with her the way Jr's children had, but the loved her just the same. Our children all knew that we were having a difficult time with dealing with the realization of having to put our dog down, that they made it known to us that it was okay. Casey and his dad are very close and when they were together everything was fun. Even just days before we made the decision we tried to have fun with Zena.
Once Jr had set the date, November 5, 2012, had been set in his own mind. I knew that I would have to have the strength to make the calls that he would have done. But I was not about to make him deal with those things today. He was just to enjoy every minute with her. We scheduled the appointment for the latest we could for that day. And as I made the appointment that day I felt this weight overcome me, as if I were taking away her very soul. Zena looked at me as if to say it was okay mama. The night before Jr had taken her for a walk to go potty, and he had even tried to wake me up to tell me to come with. But I told him that had been meant for him; she only wanted him to see what she needed him to see. And he proceeded to tell me how she was bouncing and running all over the place. And that made me so very happy even though I knew what was about to come.
The day had been filled with tears most of the day. We all took a nap, even the cat, Tinkerbell, came to sleep with her. I guess the kitty knew that she was leaving because she was loving on the dog for whatever it was worth. Zena even scolded the cat for one more time. Just to put her in her place. And I think it was her own way of telling the kitty she loved her too.
We all got up just prior to her appointment at the vet. We stopped at Heavenly Wings to make sure they could handle everything for her after the vets. And we were all set. We kept Zena as calm as could be. Jr and I went into the vets’ office to let them know we were there. Then he went to the car to sit with her and make her comfortable. I followed behind and as I did not want to see her put down I walked away from the car. I met with the vet for a moment and told them Jr was in the car with Zena. The vet was speaking to Jr for a moment and then went back inside to get her assistant. I tried to go back to the car to say my goodbyes and give her my love but found this lump in my throat. The Vet came and got me when it was done.
It felt like lead was in my legs and I could not walk. Jr had come to my side and hugged me. Then we walked back to the car and took her to Heavenly Wings to send her off, on a wing and a prayer she was on her journey home. We miss her very much, but she had told her daddy that she was ready to go home. And when he finally heard her she was happy and playing like she had as a pup. We know that she is waiting for us, and when we see her again she will be full of all the things we love about her.
In Loving Memory of... - Zena Marie
This has been the hardest lens I have written in a while. I surely do not wish this on anyone. The grief we bare for a loved one or family member is a hard one to go through. We still have our moments when we miss her very much. But those days are getting farther and fewer in between. Someday soon I hope that we can talk about her without getting all teary eyed.