An Artist's Psyche

He intrigued me. I wished i had met him, and seen him at work. As a young girl, I remember getting very affected reading his biography, about his depression, search for love, mental illness and tragic early death. Dutch Post Impressionist artist, Vincent van Gogh's paintings such as "The Twelve Sunflowers", "Starry Night", and "Irises", to name a few (he had over 2000 paintings and masterpieces), is reason, known to me, that i am in love with art. Every time i hear Don McLean's song "Vincent"...something happens in my own psyche. Maybe because i'm married to one who is part Dutch, my soul mate and an artist in many ways?

..."swirling clouds in violet haze

reflect in Vincent's eyes of China blue.

Colors changing hue

morning fields of amber grain

weathered faces lined in pain
are soothed beneath the artist's
loving hand.
And now I understand what you tried to say to me

how you suffered for your sanity
how you tried to set them free.
perhaps they'll listen now."

In his own words. i think Vincent van Gogh's reveals himself to us, and what made him so great. He said: Love many things, for therein lies the true strength, and whosoever loves much performs much, and can accomplish much, and what is done in love is done well.

Meantime, i have my own unique journey as an artist...

I'm a late bloomer. At times i feel i was cheated of my destiny, but try not to go there recognizing it is futile and unproductive. Why do i paint? Why do i bother going through the motion of creating something, for what and for whom? What, where and from whom does this passion come from? I think there is a God given fire in every artist that stirs them to want to work with whatever medium they choose to express, that which burns inside them. I have watched children with their crayolas, paint pictures of stars, sea creatures, and what nots, with gleeful innocence. I have likewise observed those who are more intense, engrossed, embellishing rainbows, using more colors, and taking their sweet time. I believe there is creativity in everyone, and it’s everywhere, in great diversity. We hail Steve Jobs, why? He created from his genius, and impacted the entire world. Abraham Maslo said: “A musician must make music, an artist must paint, a poet must write, if he is to be at peace with himself. What a man can be, he must be”

So far, i probably can liken myself to a 'Grandma Moses' or having a syndrome of (without her huge success). Heaven only knows should i even deserve such fame and i am not her age, nor do i use traditional materials and methods, Grama had a sense of humor and said, "If she didn't paint, she would be raising chickens". She did live in a farm and raised kids, from what we're told. But, i'm a city girl, ran a few businesses and retired. I can't cook, but i play good piano. Now, i spend most of my time with my techie tools, cameras, computers, painting electronically. As a photo digital artist, i am loving the whole artistic process, which, without a doubt, to me is the ‘mother of all rides’. It is hard to explain what happens when I'm working. The need to paint is a lot like hungering for food. You don’t fight it…you succumb to it, relishing every moment you're into it. I’m not sure the artist completely comprehends everything that happens. It’s simply “there”, like a spirit taking over your being...and something unfolds. There are times when i feel like saying something, like a sermon, but a visual one. I feel like a girl carrying a basket of happiness flowers, to bring cheer to an unhappy, dark and complex world. Some people have said, they have felt a 'healing' in some of the images i have created. Gosh, walking into gardens have been my panacea. I wonder.

My own journey of self discovery has been filled with the sweet and the bitter, of life’s worst and best. I feel i've done it all, this 'living' thing. I have lost and won, cried a lot and laughed like crazy. It's been amazing, and i'm not done yet! I love mentoring our little 7 year old artist, and a few who believe i can help them hone their talent. I count, as part of my true riches, all the learning ‘curves’ that have helped deepen me and shaped who i am now. There is no fear in love. Because i love, i can paint.

To view my facebook artpage, go to: www.facebook.com/sylviavanvelzer and look for artsylvia.