Clean Funny Quotes
Amusing Quotations and Words for Scrapbooking, Crafts, Cards, and Good Clean Fun
Here's a page full of clean and amusing funny words and sayings, sure to make you smile!
A little quip can lighten the day, be enlightening, or inspire someone. Everyone should have a few quotes posted in their home and place of work. We can all use a laugh on social media, too. How about sharing a bit of cheer today?
Laughter is an instant vacation. - Milton Berle
The most difficult thing about quotes on the internet is verifying them.
— Abraham LincolnHumorous Quotes
* Procrastination is the art of keeping up with yesterday. ~ Don Marquis
* Behind every great man is a woman rolling her eyes. ~ Jim Carrey
* A child of five would understand this. Send someone to fetch a child of five. ~ Groucho Marx
* A nickel ain't worth a dime anymore. ~ Yogi Berra
* A conclusion is the place where you got tired of thinking. ~ Arthur McBride Bloch
* "One only needs two tools in life: WD-40 to make things go, and duct tape to make them stop." ~ G. Weilacher
* All my life, I always wanted to be somebody. Now I see that I should have been more specific. ~ Jane Wagner, The Search For Intelligent Life In The Universe (performed by Lily Tomlin)
* All generalizations are bad. ~ R.H. Grenier
* Anybody can win, unless there happens to be a second entry. ~ George Ade
* A two-year-old is kind of like having a blender, but you don't have a top for it. ~Jerry Seinfeld
* The surest sign that intelligent life exists elsewhere in the universe is that it has never tried to contact us. ~ Bill Watterson, Calvin and Hobbes
* Today is the last day of some of your life. ~ Author Unknown
* Without geography, you're nowhere. ~ Author Unknown
* Comedy is simply a funny way of being serious. ~ Peter Ustinov
Amusing Friendship Quotes
- Only your real friends will tell you when your face is dirty. ~Sicilian Proverb
- There are big ships and small ships. But the best ship of all is friendship. ~Author Unknown
- A true friend is one who thinks you are a good egg even if you are half-cracked. ~Author Unknown
- We are keenly aware of the faults of our friends, but if they like us enough it doesn't matter. ~Mignon McLaughlin, The Neurotic's Notebook, 1960
- It is one of the blessings of old friends that you can afford to be stupid with them. ~ Ralph Waldo Emerson
- It is more fun to talk with someone who doesn’t use long, difficult words but rather short, easy words like ‘What about lunch?’ ~A.A. Milne (Winnie the Pooh)
Don't worry about the world coming to an end today.
It is already tomorrow in Australia.
— Charles Schulz© 2008 JJNW
Guestbook- Say hi or Leave a Fav Quote!
I have Great Faith in Fools.... Self Confidence my friends call it.
~ Edgar Allan Poe
Quite Quippy Quotes! :-) Here's a favorite of mine... Say what you mean and do what you want cause those who matter won't mind and those who mind won't matter." ~ Dr. Seuss
i like the charles schultz quoye best...it's already tomorrow in australia.
LOL, thanks for the nice laugh...here's one I came across today.
"I am not afraid of death, I just don't want to be there when it happens." ~ Woody Allen"
Love your photo of what looks like a Great Pyrenees in the snow. I have a Pyrenees. Great dog. Kind of dopey, but a good friend.
Such a fun lens! Thank you for your comments. :)
This lens is a day-brightener! Made me smile...thanks!
I love one liners, great page...:)rwjr
ROTFLOL. Liked this!
"Laughter is an instant vacation" ~ so true! Thanks for the vacation :)
Thanks for the chuckles. Blessed on the Squid Angel Labor Day Bus Tour.
worth reading.. thanks
This is great and funny, great job
These are lovely quotes! There really funny and can't help but smile about it. Very Nice lens!
"There are big ships and small ships. But the best ship of all is friendship."
"A celebrity is a person who works hard all his life to become well known, then wears dark glasses to avoid being recognized. ~Fred Allen"
"Don't worry about the world coming to an end today. It is already tomorrow in Australia. ~ Charles Schulz"
Very nice quotes. It makes me smile. :) Hope to read more quotes from you. :)
What sweet quotes! Adding this to "Be Joyful" ~ thanks for blessing it!
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