Clean Funny Quotes
Amusing Quotations and Words for Scrapbooking, Crafts, Cards, and Good Clean Fun
Here's a page full of Clean Funny Quotes: sayings sure to making you smile!
A little quip can lighten the day, be enlightening, or inspire someone.
Make someone a happy with the terrific quotes on this this page!
Everyone should have a few quotes posted about their home and place of work. We can all use a laugh on twitter, Facebook, or an e-mail too. How about sharing a bit of cheer today?
Laughter is an instant vacation. ~Milton Berle
The most difficult thing about quotes on the internet is verifying them.— Abraham Lincoln
Book of Funny Words and Quotations
Amusing Friendship Quotes
- Only your real friends will tell you when your face is dirty. ~Sicilian Proverb
- There are big ships and small ships. But the best ship of all is friendship. ~Author Unknown
- A true friend is one who thinks you are a good egg even if you are half-cracked. ~Author Unknown
- We are keenly aware of the faults of our friends, but if they like us enough it doesn't matter. ~Mignon McLaughlin, The Neurotic's Notebook, 1960
- It is one of the blessings of old friends that you can afford to be stupid with them. ~Ralph Waldo Emerson
Don't worry about the world coming to an end today.
It is already tomorrow in Australia.— Charles Schulz
Fun Humorous Gifts
"If they are really your friends, you will want to spend lots of money on them to show them so."
~ a Squidoo Lensmaster
If a cluttered desk is a sign of a cluttered mind, then what are we to think of an empty desk?— Albert Einstein
* A word to the wise ain't necessary - it's the stupid ones that need the advice. ~ Bill Cosby
* Behind every great man is a woman rolling her eyes. ~ Jim Carrey
* A child of five would understand this. Send someone to fetch a child of five. ~ Groucho Marx
* A nickel ain't worth a dime anymore. ~ Yogi Berra
* A conclusion is the place where you got tired of thinking. ~ Arthur McBride Bloch
* "One only needs two tools in life: WD-40 to make things go, and duct tape to make them stop." ~ G. Weilacher
* All my life, I always wanted to be somebody. Now I see that I should have been more specific. ~ Jane Wagner, The Search For Intelligent Life In The Universe (performed by Lily Tomlin)
* All generalizations are bad. ~ R.H. Grenier
* Anybody can win, unless there happens to be a second entry. ~ George Ade
* A two-year-old is kind of like having a blender, but you don't have a top for it. ~Jerry Seinfeld
* The surest sign that intelligent life exists elsewhere in the universe is that it has never tried to contact us. ~ Bill Watterson, Calvin and Hobbes
* Today is the last day of some of your life. ~ Author Unknown
* Without geography, you're nowhere. ~ Author Unknown
* Comedy is simply a funny way of being serious. ~ Peter Ustinov
"Procrastination is the art of keeping up with yesterday."
- Don Marquis
You can't have everything...
where would you put it?— Steven Wright
"Someday, we'll look back on this,
and change the subject."