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Funny faces (and feet, and more, etc.)

Updated on June 14, 2013
This is one of the photos to be manipulated and shown below. Nothing to get excited about, folks. Move along.
This is one of the photos to be manipulated and shown below. Nothing to get excited about, folks. Move along. | Source

Being a dedicated Redneck and all of the rest that goes with being a learned practitioner of the art and science of rednecking, I like having a good time of it. That remains the system to be used in handling this Internet stuff. There's a lot of writing to do, and writing is the long way of painting pictures. For that reason, I am quite partial to the use of images to illustrate stuff that is here to be said.

I had to replace a broken DVD-writer-gadget that was uselessly hanging around close to the top part of the computer used here to write one thing or another and to illustrate them pictorially with suitable images. Some of those images are photos that I make using some very simple (and ancient) cameras, and some are fine photographs produced by real photographers and made available for me to download from the Internet.

Yesterday I visited a great big computer store to see about a replacement CD-writer. They sold one to me that fit my allowance; that is, super cheap. Did that bring me to a state of rapture and joy? No. I was in the middle of gadget heaven, and all I had left with me was four bucks. That's not joy. It is as close to terminal depression (no pun there, folks...) as a good Redneck can get.

I almost did not see the “dump-these-on-unsuspecting-customers” shelf due to tear-distorted vision, but there, out of the haze and smear, appeared a big boxful of envelope-wrapped CD's, all nicely labeled and priced to still be within my allowance limit. I found one that appeared to possibly be interesting. It said that inside the envelope was a photo editing program named “FotoMorph” The label explained that the CD-embedded software was free – no charge for that. There was a $2.99 price tag for the disc due to the expense and intended profit from making, packaging, and selling the CD to Rednecks like me. Fair enough. People have to earn their way through life, don't they?

I activated the FotoMorph program today so as to see what it was all about. There were some samples included, one of which showed a youngster morphing into an adult, and when the morph was completed, the adult winked one eye at me. Hey, this seemed to be a pretty good deal for a couple of bucks. Then I noticed one of the tabs with the words, “Distort Image” on it. So I whacked that tab and up came an image plus a cursor-pointer finger deal. I moved that finger around the image here and there, mostly because the computer was still functioning and because the finger was there on the screen, sort of beckoning to me. The image pulled out of shape when I moved the finger over some part of the image.

I get it., I thought out loud, “I can put some of my own photos in here and play around with them.

That's what I did. Below are some of the distorted images. I thought the results to be worthy of a nice smile from me. Perhaps you will enjoy them, too. If you want a copy of the “FotoMorph” program, you can download the software from its makers at diphso.no/FotoMorph.html. (note the uppercase/lowercase letter mix). Have some fun with the stuff, and be happy that you will have saved your own $2.99 even if you are not going to spare your own sanity.

Our BEST kicker - but you should see what he can do with his HEADERS...
Our BEST kicker - but you should see what he can do with his HEADERS...
"I tend to walk in circles - don't know why..."
"I tend to walk in circles - don't know why..." | Source
Home field advantage...
Home field advantage...
What I look like when I'm having fun
What I look like when I'm having fun

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    • GusTheRedneck profile imageAUTHOR

      Gustave Kilthau 

      5 years ago from USA

      H Peg (PegCole17) -

      Well, it's kinda like this - I'm too ugly to be on stage. Voice is like a rusty hinge on the barn door. Fruit falls from the tree whenever I try to sing. So it is that I catch some fun any other way I can catch it. I will admit that it was fun messing with those otherwise nice photos.

      Gus :-)))

    • PegCole17 profile image

      Peg Cole 

      5 years ago from Dallas, Texas

      You really know how to have a good time, Gus. I'm proud of you for finding that bargain in the bin. You've already gotten your money's worth out of it and shared the fun, to boot! Thanks.

    • GusTheRedneck profile imageAUTHOR

      Gustave Kilthau 

      5 years ago from USA

      Hello SilentReed -

      It will be a humorous picture-poem on the dart board when the boss's perfected picture shows up there. Good one !

      We did that sort of thing one time way back when... put the boss's photo on the potty room wall and a caption below it that told the relaxing world who it was - "Our Flounder."

      Have fun today.

      Gus :-)))

    • SilentReed profile image

      SilentReed 

      5 years ago from Philippines

      Hi Gus, and thanks for the freebie. Have some knowledge of Photoshop but often end up frustrated with not getting the desired effect. Will look into this application program. As they say, keep it simple.. when one merely need a morph out photo of the boss to paste on the dart board.:)

    • PADDYBOY60 profile image

      PADDYBOY60 

      5 years ago from Centreville Michigan

      I guess I will have to grin and bear it. Can't afford plastic surgery. :)

    • GusTheRedneck profile imageAUTHOR

      Gustave Kilthau 

      5 years ago from USA

      Patrick (Paddyboy) -

      There was a CD right below the FotoMorph CD for which I kicked out my several bucks. Its CD label was "How to grin and bear it." I am not sure what that CD's program did, but it sounds like what you may be looking for. :-)

      Gus :-)))

    • PADDYBOY60 profile image

      PADDYBOY60 

      5 years ago from Centreville Michigan

      Cool imaging Gus. I wonder if they got a program to make me look handsome. Lol.

    • Fossillady profile image

      Kathi 

      5 years ago from Saugatuck Michigan

      Now, I how did I guess that was coming . . . lol! Say hello to Guenther for me . . . hee!

    • GusTheRedneck profile imageAUTHOR

      Gustave Kilthau 

      5 years ago from USA

      Howdy Kathi (Fossillady) -

      I read your comment as I was downing a big bowl of grits, butter, egg, and two handfuls of Craisins. (Not sure whether I like the grits bowl better or the comment better. Will decide later.)

      I looked at the goalpost photo again, doing what I could do to visualize the long-haired old man in the sky thing. Dr. Freud's great, great nephew, Guenther Fahrenschmartz, has an office right down the street from you. He specializes in the treatment of optical illusions, and his prices are reasonable. Not that I would be suggesting something unexpected... hear what I'm sayin'?

      Gus :-)))

    • Fossillady profile image

      Kathi 

      5 years ago from Saugatuck Michigan

      Greetings Gus . . . Terminal depression? Hee ... I like what you said how writing is a long way of painting a picture!

      Well, looks like you're having fun with your new gadget. Hey . . . can you see the bearded face in between the goal post photo you put up. His long hair looks like the wind is sweeping it off his face and all. It even kinda looks like the face below it that you manipulated. You might have to use your imagination which I know you have plenty of! Kathi :O)

    • GusTheRedneck profile imageAUTHOR

      Gustave Kilthau 

      5 years ago from USA

      Good Morning, Neighbor Angela (Angela Blair) -

      It is always a good thing when folks recognize a person for the great talents they have. As for me, about the only thing that I cannot do is sing. Well, that is the start of the list, anyway. :-)

      Glad you enjoyed the Funny Faces deal. My favorite p;icture among the several is the "Home Field Advantage." Shrinking the goal posts is one way to win, right?

      Gus :-)))

    • Angela Blair profile image

      Angela Blair 

      5 years ago from Central Texas

      What a hoot -- and what a lot of program for so little money -- fun, fun, fun! You definitely have way with words, Gus -- always gets my attention and pleasantly! Best/Sis

    • GusTheRedneck profile imageAUTHOR

      Gustave Kilthau 

      5 years ago from USA

      Froggie (The Frog Prince) -

      It can be a problem to be, like me, possessed of only one bone in my entire body - and it is one of those doggone "funny bones." :-)

      Gus :-)))

    • The Frog Prince profile image

      The Frog Prince 

      5 years ago from Arlington, TX

      Gus - Like Larry would say, "Now that was funny..." You had your funny bone properly positioned for this write. Great job throughout.

      The Frog

    • GusTheRedneck profile imageAUTHOR

      Gustave Kilthau 

      5 years ago from USA

      Howdy Meldz (ignugent17) -

      That follows the old, old expression, "It is all in the I of the bee holder." You know, that old expression makes me wonder how anyone could hang onto a bee like that - and how does a person stuff anything inside of an "I" in the first place. Seems like the older I get, the dumber.

      Have fun today.

      Gus :-)))

    • GusTheRedneck profile imageAUTHOR

      Gustave Kilthau 

      5 years ago from USA

      Mary (tillsontital) - If there is one chore that we of the handsomer and learneder and poorer generation don't mind doing, it is messing around with photos as though we knew what we were doing.

      I tried out one of those Smart Phones in the store - always try before buy - and the thing said some of the dumbest things I'd ever heard - for example, "This model can be yours for only $199." How dumb can a Smart Phone get? I, personally, am available 24/7 for half that price. Stupid Smart Phones !!!!!

      Gus :-)))

    • GusTheRedneck profile imageAUTHOR

      Gustave Kilthau 

      5 years ago from USA

      Hi Eddy (Eiddwen) -

      Thanks for sharing your smile and the funny-face article deal. That's what this world needs - more smiles.

      Gus :-)))

    • profile image

      ignugent17 

      5 years ago

      They look so funny. Have fun. :-))

    • tillsontitan profile image

      Mary Craig 

      5 years ago from New York

      The Platters sang a song that fits here, its called "Only You"! My grandchildren have been playing around with a similar program on their Smart Phones and now you have introduced a new generation to morphing! Good job Gus...smiles and pushed ears will abound.

      Voted up, funny, and interesting.

    • Eiddwen profile image

      Eiddwen 

      5 years ago from Wales

      Very interesting and brought a smile to my face.I now look forward to many more by you and vote this one up,across and share.

      Eddy.

    • GusTheRedneck profile imageAUTHOR

      Gustave Kilthau 

      5 years ago from USA

      Good Doctor bj (drbj) -

      Off to see the Morpher down the yellow Internet Road. Good idea. You should have lots of fun with this silly-photo morphing program. Proud I will be to see what you come up with from it.

      Gus :-)))

    • GusTheRedneck profile imageAUTHOR

      Gustave Kilthau 

      5 years ago from USA

      Hello once more to you, too, Sally (sallybea) -

      The way things are working in our day and time, ears and eyes on the back side would prove beneficial in many instances. Maybe some of those back copies of "GusTheRedneck" would be best read using those backside eyeballs...

      Gus :-)))

    • drbj profile image

      drbj and sherry 

      5 years ago from south Florida

      You keep discovering the most amazing computer 'stuff,' Gus. I'm heading to the Foto Morph site now to check out this latest software. Thanks for the newsflash, m'dear.

    • sallybea profile image

      Sally Gulbrandsen 

      5 years ago from Norfolk

      Hi Again Gus, fortunately I have no need for ears on the back on my neck since I developed a sixth sense whilst living in South Africa. I shall keep smiling just so long as you keep on with the entertaining, If you run out of ideas I might have to resort back to some of the back copies for GusTheRedneck!

    • GusTheRedneck profile imageAUTHOR

      Gustave Kilthau 

      5 years ago from USA

      Howdy Sally (sallybea) -

      Let me clue you in on the real usefulness of smiling as you wander around in a dangerous world...

      When a person smiles, it pushes their ears farther toward the back of their head. This helps to hear those who would sneak up on you from the rear. I have known only one person with eyes on the back of their head - and that is my bride. Can't get away with anything around that gal. :-(

      Now I can do some planning as to what I shall do with that five bucks saved. Probably will wind up wasting it on something useful.

      Gus :-)))

    • sallybea profile image

      Sally Gulbrandsen 

      5 years ago from Norfolk

      Wonderful Gus, you never fail to make me smile! I am feeling so glad that I saved you those five bucks!!. Just imagine, that might have been the difference between having the morph program or not!! Love the self portrait, now I just have to see on of your young bride too , then I shall have the whole picture. Have a great day. Sally

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