How To Fold A Paper Boat And Take Over The World

Origami. The ancient art of paper folding. The secret to creating small, fragile imitations of objects and animals. Creating traditional boats takes serious time, effort, space and materials. Making a paper boat only requires a rectangular sheet of paper and the courage to risk paper cuts in its construction.

The man pictured on the right managed to make a functioning paper boat with only a large sheet of paper and the help of several small children. This puts the dream of boat ownership within reach of the everyman. Paper is everywhere and with a willing mate, it is quite possible to fabricate several small children for very little cost.

This isn't me in the video. It's a dude who can make a paper boat without tearing the paper, swearing profusely and eventually setting it on its first voyage atop a lake of burning petrol.

Also not me, but a total show off who is super fast at folding boats when he has already folded the creases into the paper. I'd like to see how long it takes him to fold it without the creases. Have you ever tried to just fold paper with no preperation? It's hard, damn hard.

Again, not me, but a stop motion video of some talented soul making a boat that actually totally works. It's also pretty. So pretty it would be a shame to let it become tainted by H20. You can make one of these things, but be prepared to also make a shrine to display it on. This is art.

Picture this. A fleet of tiny ships riding the waves to victory. Fashioned painstakingly by hand, every 30 seconds another ship is added to the fleet. Before long, a single person could hold the metaphorical reins of the largest paper navy in the world. From there, the rest of the plan is obvious.

Alternatively, you and a group of freinds could create a series of large paper boats a la dude in the first picture. You live a life on the high seas, fishing the depths for nourishment, stopping off on desert islands to top up on fresh water and dry the boat out a bit. The world is your cellulose conquered oyster. Float anywhere, do anything, be anything. If you get tired of sailing your paper boat, you could simply unfold it and live upon a paper island on the waves. You will have conquered the world by simply living outside the boundaries imposed by land bound governments. You will be free.

What they used to tell you in kindergarten was true, your imagination is truly your most powerful weapon. Also, stop biting other people and take an afternoon nap.