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The Devil Inside

Updated on April 13, 2009

Ever the Fool

Ever the Fool - Paper Clay Sculpture by Sharrie69
Ever the Fool - Paper Clay Sculpture by Sharrie69

When art speaks...

It seems that since I have started hubbing that my Art is beginning to take on a life of its own. Each piece seems to be popping up with its own story to tell. Artists are story tellers who work with paint instead of words. A picture is worth a thousand words or so they say...but now maybe the pictures need to have their say anyway.

Well tonight this sculpture is just howling out at me...jostling for his turn in the line up. He is not my usual type of creation. He is not happy even though he wears a flower in his hair. He is not fact if you listen long enough you will hear his bitter complaints and see the pain in his hollow eyes. He came from deep down inside me...from the little compartment where Pandora's box of hurts and sins is stored. Hidden away from the light of day. But like in the story of Pandora sometimes the monsters have to be unleashed.

In July last year I did a course on paper clay with a wonderful artist and woman named Bunty O' Connor. You can see more of Bunty's work here She has become my mentor.

Bunty told us that when she starts to sculpt she often has to make several lizards before she can begin a serious piece. The lizard is her totem and he keeps bubbling up to the surface insisting on coming out before she can tap down into her subconscious. For several of our exercises we were instructed to just play with the clay and see what came up...what bubbled to the surface. It always was a surprise to see what happened next.

I sat there and kneeded and tore and pulled and let my mind go blank. Suddenly I punched my thumbs through the oval of clay I had been unconsciously moulding and I let the form hang in midair..suspended on my fingers. Then I saw him. The little monster trapped inside. The frowning face behind the smiling mask. I had met my demon.

I laid him back on the table and began to let him talk to let him tell me his form and fancy. As I worked I added the howling mouth and the spindled horns. The soft clay felt good between my fingers and I felt all the frustration and anger that I often hold inside flowing out of me. I dragged my fingers down his face making deep tracks leading from his eyes. Tracks that no doubt tears had flowed down too many times to count. My fool held all the bile and fear and anger that I refused to acknowledge as a part of me.

Could this really be a part of me? This snarling imp? Where did this come from? I did not know..but I did know that it felt good to set him free.

How often do we hold our hurts inside..afraid to let them out. Afraid to hurt others or worse..afraid to show them because we will be looked at differently? Why do we always feel we need to wear a mask. To tell the world we are OK when really we feel like lashing out at all the injustice and the bonds that are chaffing us? I know I often do.

Tonight I am fed up and angry and feeling more and more to just grab my paints and my back pack and get the hell out of here. Feeling trapped and angry and wondering if it is all worth it. Tonight I am my green mask of snarling fury.

But like always I will wear the pretty little flower in my hair and smile, and pretend it is all just a game, just a play.... and push the demons back down and silence them again.

Check your demon at the door....

Ever the fool.........



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    • agvulpes profile image


      12 years ago from Australia

      Hi sharrie69, until youv'e been there, you never know.

      In all my experience there is nothing else quite like it. Total immersion. My go is sculpture!

      I enjoyed reading your hub. Thankyou.

    • sharrie69 profile imageAUTHOR


      12 years ago from Trinidad (an island in the Caribbean)

      Hey spryte, if you do decide to try clay I suggest you try using paper has a lot more body and is much easier to work with and lends itself to sculpture. Wonderful stuff to work with. (It is basically clay with shredded paper added to it..sure you can find links out there).

      My other piece "Crash" was written like that. I always find that when I just let go I do my best work..I am sure it is so with all artists. You have to connect with the Zone.

    • spryte profile image


      12 years ago from Arizona, USA

      I loved this piece! It makes me want to grab a great big glob of clay and find out what my fingers would do when given free rein.

      It's how I work when I write agenda, I just let the voice inside me speak, so I understand completely. Btw...don't try to hide your horns. Sometimes it's a good idea to let a bit of the devil show. :)

    • sharrie69 profile imageAUTHOR


      12 years ago from Trinidad (an island in the Caribbean)

      CC. yes clay is very sexy...why quit?

      Christoph my demon is hanging on the wall near the front entrance to my house..he smiles at visitors and casts a warning eye on those whos intentions may not be of the best! He's a good guardian..and certainly a conversation piece!

    • Christoph Reilly profile image

      Christoph Reilly 

      12 years ago from St. Louis

      Hi Sharrie: Interesting to read about your artistic process, and the mask is packed with all the anger and anguish of which you speak, so I have no doubt your process works for you. What will you do with it, I wonder? Do you keep it as "art" or a representation of your demon, or do you want to get rid of it as soon as possible, thereby ridding yourself of him - at least for now?

    • profile image

      C. C. Riter 

      12 years ago

      Hi sharrie, i almost missed thi one. nice mask. I have my demon, it's clay. I love it, but it's too sexy and all i want to do is play with it and get horny, so I quit. it gets all sexy squishy, I just can't do it. know what i mean?

    • sharrie69 profile imageAUTHOR


      12 years ago from Trinidad (an island in the Caribbean)

      Hmm..that's an idea! Not sure when I'll get back into the pottery again as the new school term is starting (I teach kids) but I will definately keep it in mind. Might have to do a time lapse sort of thing though as all the various stages take quite a while! Thanks for stopping by!

    • GeneriqueMedia profile image


      12 years ago from Earth

      Nice to meet another artist. :)

      Even if my craft isn't with fine arts, I sincerely enjoined this Hub. Most people don't realize that when we begin a creative process..we become enveloped in all that it is. For better, or for worse.



      P.S. Nice scultpture =) Sometime maybe take a vid of you making something? ;) Love to see it on a Hub..

    • Raven King profile image

      Raven King 

      12 years ago from Cabin Fever

      You are a true artist! I like your sculpture it seems to be wise with lots of things to tell.

      You should let people know how you feel.

      Strange coincidence I was playing with my DSi I came up with my own green warrior. Strange.

      Your sculpture is wise. Don't hold it in. Express your self.

      Many HUGS. xoxo

    • Paper Moon profile image

      Paper Moon 

      12 years ago from In the clouds

      This is a great hub! This reminds me of a book my wife got for one of my children. Angela and Diabola, by Lynne Reid Banks. There was one angelic twin and one diabolic twin. It shows the struggle of both inherent in all humans. Artists are luckier than most that they have such a good tool to exercise their demons. Life is still beautiful, demons, fools and all.

    • profile image

      Feline Prophet 

      12 years ago

      You do like to make us think, don't you Sharrie?

    • Shalini Kagal profile image

      Shalini Kagal 

      12 years ago from India

      Nice hub sharrie - yes we all have our demons and our fools that we need to let out and maybe let in sometimes! Remember the words of 'The Fool on the Hill'?

      The man with a thousand voices talking perfectly loud/But nobody ever hears him/Or the sound he appears to make

    • sharrie69 profile imageAUTHOR


      12 years ago from Trinidad (an island in the Caribbean)

      Thanks Mighty Mom. My 'war paint' is part of a Trini celebration called "J'Ouvert" or "Day Open". On carnival Monday morning we get up at 4am and go out into the streets and get covered in paint and mud and dance to celebrate the begining of two days of carnival. It is a lot of fun....but more on that later! :-)

    • Mighty Mom profile image

      Susan Reid 

      12 years ago from Where Left is Right, CA

      Hello Sharrie! Your avatar is neat -- like a warrior princess! I like your hub about art and how it can express all different moods. I've found that if I don't get the old demon a little fresh air and exercise regularly, she really acts up. Watch out! Glad to have your creativity here on HP. MM

    • Cris A profile image

      Cris A 

      12 years ago from Manila, Philippines

      Oh I understand, demons need to be pampered, too. As long as they don't get bigger than us, that is! :D

    • sharrie69 profile imageAUTHOR


      12 years ago from Trinidad (an island in the Caribbean)

      Gee you guys are fast! :-) Nice to meet you Chris A.

      Even though I am in a grrrrrrrrrrrrrrr kinda mood tonight I will adjust my flower and tuck in my horns and say a polite hello! ;-) Had to let the demon out for a little walkabout..he gets antsy sometimes.

    • Cris A profile image

      Cris A 

      12 years ago from Manila, Philippines

      This is a very insightful hub. As I consider myself an artistic person (though I think my brain is more artistic than my hands when it comes to creating art! LOL) I totally can relate to what you're saying here. Art is not always light, and bright - like ourselves. Express what needs to be expressed. Enjoyed this! Thanks for sharing :D


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