Cat Bearding for the Bored | A Crazy Craze

This introduces you to the cat bearding craze. A properly held cat can make a fine fashion accessory. Check out the photos, the videos and learn how you can can take up cat bearding.

The dog days of summer mean silliness and tom-foolery and lazy fun. It's a time when your favorite hobbies just don't cut it and you want to let loose with something wild. Good news, then. Put away your knitting needles, your scrapbook paper, your beads and your woodwork.

Grab a cat, preferably a house cat and not a lion or jaguar, and take up the latest craze of cat bearding.

It's the latest Internet craze. You know how it goes. Somebody does it and posts a picture and faster than you can spit up a hairball, everybody is cat bearding and bragging about it.

What do you do? You hold your cat so the head is under your bottom lip. The cat's body hangs downward, giving the appearance of a beard. Then you take a picture.

Oh, and most importantly, remember to post your pictures on the Internet, making full use of all social media sites.

The gal in the picture is cheating, if you ask me. True, she has an absolutely adorable cat. It looks like a Persian. The gal is a super cute cat herself, plus the way the cat curls around her neck is SOOOO darned sweet.

Nevertheless, for a purist like me, she is is cheating. True cat beards are made with the cat's head under the mouth and the body hanging down.

Some people are always looking for the easy way out, if you ask me.

How-to do Cat Bearding

Cat bearding may sound simple to do, but in practice, challenges may occur. To master the craft, follow the steps below.

1. Obtain suitable cat.

2. Acquire suitable camera person, or try the time lapse feature on your camera if you dare.

3. Bribe cat with belly rubs, tuna treats and promises of a catnip reward.

4. Pick up cat, placing cat's head under your bottom lip, with cat's body hanging downward.

5. Clean up broken ornaments and spilled coffee that occurred during Fluffy's successful escape.

6. Wash the scratches and claw marks on your hands and legs and apply antiseptic.

7. Repeat until photograph is obtained. Better yet, take a video.

8. Upload photograph to Flicker, YouTube, MySpace, FaceBook, Twitter, Blogger and any others that you can think of.

There. Easy, wasn't it?

Subdue, Sedate Not Medicate

Some practice may be required when encouraging a reluctant feline to act as your beard while being photographed.

It may be necessary to sedate or otherwise subdue Fluffy to ensure his or her cooperation.

Good way to sedate kitty-cat

1. Rub his belly

2. Scratch the back of her ears

3. Offer tuna treats

Really BAD way to sedate kitty-cat

1. Stun gun

2. Your leftover Prozac

3. Johnny Walker

Please read the FAQs before submitting your question to technical support staff. If your question is not answered here, open a support ticket and expect a catty response within several weeks.

• Is cat bearding truly a form of craft?

  Yes, absolutely. It's right up there with cow tipping.

• What type of cat should I use?

  It's a matter of preference, but I would go with a domestic house cat. True, jaguars, lynxes and tigers are exotic but some challenges have been noted when using them for cat bearding.

• What color or markings work best?

  I would look for a colour or pattern on the cat that best compliments your skin tone and hair colouring. Consult your local Mary Kay representative for tips on color coordination.

• Could I just Photoshop the cat into the picture?

  Gasp! Absolutely not. Cat bearding via Photoshop is SO yesterday.

Shouldn't you have your own blog showing your very own pictures showing how you wear Fluffy on your face?