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Cars men should not be seen driving or owning

Updated on September 7, 2013

No man should own these hideous cars

The following is a list of cars that no man should be seen driving or even owning. To own such a car would be a disgrace to men and to *ahem* manhood. If you are a male, and you do own or drive a car on this list, please consider a different vehicle.

Ugly Car #1 - Dodge Neon

The Dodge Neon came in a variety of flavors. There was the 2-door Coupe and the 4-door sedan. They even had a "sporty" SRT-4 version with a turbocharged engine to compete with the Mistubishi Lancer EVO and the Subaru WRX STi. The SRT-4, however, is the weakest of the bunch.

In any case, don't be caught dead in a Neon because it's just not a man's car at all. Even if you were to own the sporty SRT-4, people will just laugh at you because you basically purchased a "poor-man's" version of the EVO and STi.

Ugly Car #2 - Mini Cooper

This car is SMALL. This is in no way manly at all. Sure, it's rather nimble and sporty and can pack a punch in performance (due to it's little size), but this is NO man's car at all.

Ugly Car #3 - Volkswagen Beetle

This is a female's car....plain and simple. No man should be seen in this, let alone driving this. I've never seen a man looking cool in a Beetle.

Ugly Car #4 - Mazda Miata

The ultimate "douche" car. For starters, you can drop the top, and that instantly makes it a douche car. Not to mention, if you're having a mid life crisis and want to go with a car that goes topless, this is not the choice to purchase. Do yourself a favor, skip it. Your manhood will thank you for this crucial decision Oh, but you say this car is excellent for auto crossing and SCCA events? No. Just don't buy one. You're a roadster enthusiast? Here's a hint, go buy a 350Z, which can go topless as well as a used Honda S2000. And if you really wanted to, you could find a nice Acura NSX and you'll be definitely not a douche.

Ugly Car #5 - Scion tC

The tC IS sporty, don't get me wrong, however, this is actually a girl's car. Yes it is! This car matches a female more than it does for a male. And thus, no man should be caught seen driving this girls ride.

Ugly Car #6 - Nissan Cube

Oh it's so cute! That's why no man should be seen in this small little box. This looks so horsepower-less it's not even funny at all.

Ugly Car #7 - Scion iQ

It's cute, too. But small! Nothing makes a man less masculine than this Scion iQ. I'd feel ashamed if I stepped out of this vehicle.

Ugly Car #8 - Fiat 500

The Fiat 500 is similar to the Mini Cooper and the Scion iQ. It's small, unimpressive and downright not manly at all. Now, even if you were to get the performance oriented Abarth, it's not going to raise points to how horrible this car is.

Ugly Car #9 - Chrysler PT Cruiser

Have you seen anything more ugly in your life? What in the world was the designer thinking? Not a great vehicle for men. I cannot honestly think a man would actually want to buy this ugly thing.

Ugly Car #10 - Pontiac Sunfire

If there is a "douche" car second to the Miata, this is the one! Look how bland and boring and uninspiring this is. No flavor, no goodness, not a man's car at all. Oh, you decided to get a convertible version? End yourself now!

Ugly Car #11 - Pontiac Grand Prix / Grand Am

Everyone knows ALL Pontiac's are horrible to own. One of these horrible ones is the Grand Prix / Grand Am. This car is plain old ugly.

Ugly Car #12 - Smart Fourtwo

Just like the Scion iQ, this is no man's car. I know that some people would like to be "green" and want to have fuel efficiency, etc. And if this is your logic, please purchase an all electric vehicle instead. Great choices are the Nissan Leaf and the Chevrolet Volt.

Ugly Car #13 - Jeep Wrangler

If you're thinking that a Jeep is definitely manly, please think again. Unless you're driving a Grand Cherokee, skip it. It gives off a douche quality, too. Why would anyone want a Jeep? Now, unless you do go off-roading then it's OK But many just buy it because it looks cool & they think they're in the military while in reality they're civilians.

Ugly Car #13 - Hummer

Yeah! Nothing makes you more macho than owning a Hummer, right? NO! Hummer's are played out, just like those spinners you thought were cool on SUV's like Escalade's and Tahoe's. Hummers are douche-like vehicles where other men (and women, too) will snicker. You're no more of a man by owning a Hummer. In fact, you're really hated because of how horrible this piece of junk is. And, not to mention how you're hurting the environment by pumping infinite gas into this piece of trash.

Ugly Car #14 - Mercedes C-Class

While there is nothing outwardly wrong with a Mercedes, owning a C-Class is. Men who want to show they're "rich" or are "wealthy" and buy this car merely fail at all levels. They don't quite have the money to buy something more expensive, and as a result, this "baby Benz" is all they can afford. If you simply cannot afford an S Class or E Class, buying this cheaper C-Class should be skipped. More respect will be given if buying an Audi A4 or BMW 3-Series.

If you're a male, do you drive any of the cars listed?

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© 2013 jaydawg808

What are your thoughts on this list?

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    • W1totalk profile image

      W1totalk 4 years ago

      Good article. I would not drive that Cube. It feels like a side might fall down.

    • jpcmc profile image

      JP Carlos 4 years ago from Quezon CIty, Phlippines

      I like the Mini Cooper, the Hummer, and the Jeep. I'm quite secured with my gender regardless. :) I generally like compact cars since traffic in Metro Manila is awful, I can easily squeeze in tight places. Plus they are more fuel friendly.

    • etower036 profile image

      etower036 4 years ago from Helana

      LOL great article, and I am a man that would have went for the smart car, but after reading this article, I think I will stay with riding mass transit for a while LOL.

      Keep up the good work dude.