ArtsAutosBooksBusinessEducationEntertainmentFamilyFashionFoodGamesGenderHealthHolidaysHomeHubPagesPersonal FinancePetsPoliticsReligionSportsTechnologyTravel

Cutting Edge Alternative Fuels

Updated on August 2, 2011

Alternative Fuels for Cutting Edge Human Transport

We all need a ride to the grocery store, but none of us wants to soil this little blue marble we call home. Nasty fossil fuels produce yucky byproducts such as water vapor and carbon dioxide when burned the traditional internal combustion engine. Alternative Cutting Edge Fuels must be developed before we exhaust all our oil through our exhaust pipes.

Your next car should be a car that provides basic transportation, and heated seats, but also treads lightly across the highways and byways we all share. No one wants to get stuck behind your smog belching behemoth during rush hour. Look for innovative engineering solutions strategically engineered to cause your vehicle to emit as little foreign material as possible.

Cutting Edge Alternative Fuel #1 - Mac and Cheese

No one ever finishes their macaroni and cheese. There's always a bite or two left over. Even ordering a child's portion still results in excess. To leverage this glut of protein, cutting edge scientists developed the Mac and Cheese Car. Biologically engineered enzymes break down soggy pasta into component molecules. These little critters are combined with a phase-shifted matrix of dual-refracted cheese bits in order to produce cutting edge (and great smelling) fuel. Virtually any car that has used up the manufacturer's warranty can be retrofitted into a Mac n Cheese speedster.

The Mac n Cheese Car offers unique opportunities for alternative fuel alternatives.
The Mac n Cheese Car offers unique opportunities for alternative fuel alternatives.

Cutting Edge Fuel #2 - The Gerbil-Powered Vehicle

Vehicles of the today have reached a tipping point in the relentless effort to cut weight and increase efficiency. Car have become so light that they can be shoved around by gerbils. The Gerbil Powered Car fits into a perfect (and adorable) niche, meeting the needs of drivers who enjoy an excess of rodents around the house but still need a ride to work.

Hamsters may be substituted in a pinch, however Guinea Pigs are not recommended.

The Gerbil Powered Auto represents cutting-edge technology mated with furry rodents.
The Gerbil Powered Auto represents cutting-edge technology mated with furry rodents.

Cutting Edge Fuel #3 - The SailCar

Every auto mechanic knows that an aura is a field of luminous radiation energy surrounding a person. Are you wasting your aura on the supernatural aliens in your basement? A SailCar melds two disparate concepts that have been disparate for far too long. This dual-powered vehicle makes use of the driver's personal aura to generate 100% clean energy, perfect for short trips around town (longer trips and vacation jaunts require a carload of passengers willing to sit under pyramids). Resonant aural frequencies are absorbed by the dual flux-capacitors tucked away in the glove compartment and converted to mechanical energy by tiny garden gnomes and tooth fairies living in the transaxle. Only a light puff of pixie dust emanates from the tailpipe.

Should the driver suddenly lose their aura or experience some really bad karma, this little beauty comes with an easily deployable sail as standard equipment.

The SailCar is powered by your personal aura, and a sail.
The SailCar is powered by your personal aura, and a sail.

Comments

    0 of 8192 characters used
    Post Comment

    • nicomp profile image
      Author

      nicomp really 7 years ago from Ohio, USA

      less than 100 hits. sigh.

    • nicomp profile image
      Author

      nicomp really 8 years ago from Ohio, USA

      @breakfastpop: Yer right. I recant. ;)

    • breakfastpop profile image

      breakfastpop 8 years ago

      Sorry nicomp, Al Gore already invented these fuels, didn't you hear?

    • nicomp profile image
      Author

      nicomp really 8 years ago from Ohio, USA

      @Partisan Patriot: Politicians produce prodigious amounts of hot air, but unfortunately it is laced with deadly CO2.

    • profile image

      Partisan Patriot 8 years ago

      nicomp

      Great ideas but where do we find those Giant Gerbils. How about the Al Gore Hot Air Car. He's made millions by spewing hot air since he lost in 2002. I say hook him up to a bottling plant and keep him talking!

    • nicomp profile image
      Author

      nicomp really 8 years ago from Ohio, USA

      @dabeaner: Your suggestion gives a new meaning to "Cutting Edge", but I digress.

    • dabeaner profile image

      dabeaner 8 years ago from Nibiru

      One near and dear to me for obvious reasons is the "bean burrito powered" vehicle. Fill up on bean burritos (yourself, not the car) attach a hose to your butt and run it to the engine. I think that is the original bio-fuel.

      Oh wait, Never mind. The methane is supposedly a bad greenhouse gas.

    • Tom Whitworth profile image

      Tom Whitworth 8 years ago from Moundsville, WV

      nicomp,

      You have made a break through. These alternative cars are every bit as technologically feasible as those suggested by Al Gore!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    • dabeaner profile image

      dabeaner 8 years ago from Nibiru

      I don't give a flying "f" about fuel economy. I have commented on the futility of "environmentalism" since the 1960s, when the world population was 3, maybe 4 billion. Now it is almost 7 billion.

      The only solution is population control. Everything else is useless feel-good politically correct bullpucky.

      Abortion, birth control, spaying, INFANTICIDE. Now both religious wackos and loony lefties don't like those alternatives, so eff em all.

    working

    This website uses cookies

    As a user in the EEA, your approval is needed on a few things. To provide a better website experience, hubpages.com uses cookies (and other similar technologies) and may collect, process, and share personal data. Please choose which areas of our service you consent to our doing so.

    For more information on managing or withdrawing consents and how we handle data, visit our Privacy Policy at: "https://hubpages.com/privacy-policy#gdpr"

    Show Details
    Necessary
    HubPages Device IDThis is used to identify particular browsers or devices when the access the service, and is used for security reasons.
    LoginThis is necessary to sign in to the HubPages Service.
    Google RecaptchaThis is used to prevent bots and spam. (Privacy Policy)
    AkismetThis is used to detect comment spam. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide data on traffic to our website, all personally identifyable data is anonymized. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Traffic PixelThis is used to collect data on traffic to articles and other pages on our site. Unless you are signed in to a HubPages account, all personally identifiable information is anonymized.
    Amazon Web ServicesThis is a cloud services platform that we used to host our service. (Privacy Policy)
    CloudflareThis is a cloud CDN service that we use to efficiently deliver files required for our service to operate such as javascript, cascading style sheets, images, and videos. (Privacy Policy)
    Google Hosted LibrariesJavascript software libraries such as jQuery are loaded at endpoints on the googleapis.com or gstatic.com domains, for performance and efficiency reasons. (Privacy Policy)
    Features
    Google Custom SearchThis is feature allows you to search the site. (Privacy Policy)
    Google MapsSome articles have Google Maps embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    Google ChartsThis is used to display charts and graphs on articles and the author center. (Privacy Policy)
    Google AdSense Host APIThis service allows you to sign up for or associate a Google AdSense account with HubPages, so that you can earn money from ads on your articles. No data is shared unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Google YouTubeSome articles have YouTube videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    VimeoSome articles have Vimeo videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    PaypalThis is used for a registered author who enrolls in the HubPages Earnings program and requests to be paid via PayPal. No data is shared with Paypal unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook LoginYou can use this to streamline signing up for, or signing in to your Hubpages account. No data is shared with Facebook unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    MavenThis supports the Maven widget and search functionality. (Privacy Policy)
    Marketing
    Google AdSenseThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Google DoubleClickGoogle provides ad serving technology and runs an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Index ExchangeThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    SovrnThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook AdsThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Unified Ad MarketplaceThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    AppNexusThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    OpenxThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Rubicon ProjectThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    TripleLiftThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Say MediaWe partner with Say Media to deliver ad campaigns on our sites. (Privacy Policy)
    Remarketing PixelsWe may use remarketing pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to advertise the HubPages Service to people that have visited our sites.
    Conversion Tracking PixelsWe may use conversion tracking pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to identify when an advertisement has successfully resulted in the desired action, such as signing up for the HubPages Service or publishing an article on the HubPages Service.
    Statistics
    Author Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide traffic data and reports to the authors of articles on the HubPages Service. (Privacy Policy)
    ComscoreComScore is a media measurement and analytics company providing marketing data and analytics to enterprises, media and advertising agencies, and publishers. Non-consent will result in ComScore only processing obfuscated personal data. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Tracking PixelSome articles display amazon products as part of the Amazon Affiliate program, this pixel provides traffic statistics for those products (Privacy Policy)