Rear View Mirrors Are Not to Be Taken for Granted

about rear view mirrors, bless their hearts, is a serious problem about pride. Yes, pride. Even the Bible speaks of “pride goeth before a fall,” and to me, that sounds pretty serious. Yes, a rear view mirror is just an inanimate piece of automotive equipment, but if you were to put yourself into the rear view mirror’s place, you would find that you have been overlooked and really abused every way that is humanly possible.

And frankly, the more I tell you why I am “going to bat” for the rear view mirrors is because I am always pulling for the underdog, (not the TV cartoon), because I hate it when people, animals, or even things like auto equipment get ran over and I cannot feel any other way. In the next paragraph I plan on letting go and just letting my opinions hang out and let the chips fall where they may. There is no use in watering-down this topic. And there is not any way that I can sugar-coat the awful way that a rear view mirror is treated, so if you are offended by my line of thinking, I apologize. The only thing that you can accuse me of is being honest.

the highly-intelligent auto designers and builders decided to add a rear view mirror on the first cars that were first built. I mean there were two outside mirrors, one on the right side and the other one on the left, so why add a third mirror? Class? Status? You tell me. And if you care to read between the lines, you might say that I have stumbled onto a true Rear View Conspiracy and I can tell you that a lot of those behind it are going to be very nervous.

The only way that we may ever get at the truth about why rear view mirrors were added to cars and trucks is go visit the auto plants in Detroit, MI., those that are still in operation and talk to the CEOs and many department managers and just “lay the axe to the root,”and even if we do find out that this conspiracy was formed many years ago, what good would it do now? None. I wanted to answer that question and be finished with it. Who was the weak link in the Conspiracy Chain? Well, I have watched the Watergate Conspiracy over 10 times (over the years) and I am nowhere closer now than I used to be three years ago. Okay. President Nixon finally resigned. That was that. But do you that we American citizens will ever know everything about Watergate that was done in the dark and brought to light? Maybe. Maybe not. Right now, let us stick to the subject at hand: the Rear View Conspiracy.

the Rear View Conspiracy that I would assume that the very first on-site rear view designers convinced the car plants a grand lie about how useful and important a rear view mirror would be. Then with a lot of late-night talking in secret offices, the Rear View Conspiracy was born. And what really gets my goat is that (and you may not know this) the rear view mirror, any rear view mirror, has only three uses that humans can use while inside the car.

And those three rear view uses are:

• (If you are a woman) who cares about her appearance, can quickly get a look at her foundation, rouge, eye shadow, eyeliner and lipstick before she heads to that all-important meeting to interview with a powerful CEO of some big corporation where she might be an office manager making tons of money, so we can understand the use of the rear view mirror to help the woman get her perfect job.

• (If you are a man) the only thing a man is really worried about is if he has a piece of lettuce stuck in his front teeth because he has to look his best to meet a new advertising client who is a stickler for someone’s appearance.

These two points above are to be considered as one point.’

• Parents can glance at their rear view mirror when driving with their children riding in the back seat to make sure that they are acting right and being quiet.

• (This is the third purpose of rear view mirror) most teenage guys and girls who are dating and having a great single life until they meet “that” special someone, then the smitten girl or guy grabs a souvenir from “that” hot girl or boy, maybe a necklace, and places it over his or her rear view mirror.

I hope that you got all three of the rear view mirror’s purposes, and if you ask me, rear view mirrors have a right to be lonely. I would. You may notice that people have two outside mirrors—one on the driver’s side door and the other on the side of the passenger’s door. So these mirrors have no reason to be lonely. They have each other. But do you ever hear a rear view mirror complain? Hardly. They have way too much class to do such a useless thing.

There are a lot of guys and girls who drive diesel rigs for a living. And (some) of these drivers who own their own tractor, have something called West Coast Mirrors on their tractor as a way to be able to see more of what is coming behind them, plus these mirrors also serve as a reflector to warn oncoming traffic due to this silver streak that runs from top to bottom of the back of the mirror.

Road Trip by Flashback; I’d Sure Hate to Break Down Here by Trade Adkins; High Plains Drifter by the Beastie Boys; Traffic Jam by James Taylor; Rear View (Ridin’) by Ludacris and Just a Sign by Strange Clouds. I included these few songs here to just prove that there is a lot of songs written and recorded about rear view mirrors.

So in conclusion, we might conclude that rear view mirrors are NOT be taken lightly or thought of as a second class piece of automotive equipment. No, sir. Rear view means just that: rear view (applicable) and this ability pays off when you are parked kissing your date a single, beautiful blonde, and you catch the glimpse of some troublemaker headed toward you, your date and your car.

December 20, 2019_______________________________________________