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A Letter From Your Friendly Waffle House Waitress

Updated on August 9, 2010

Dear Customer

Hello! This is your friendly Waffle House waitress writing to you, just wanting to address a few issues.

First let me start by telling you how much I enjoy you coming into our establishment! It's a pleasure to serve you. (Yes I'm being totally sarcastic at the moment, and no I don't care if you don't like my tone)

The reason I'm writing this letter to you, the customer, is to let you in on a little secret. So lean in real close while I scream it into your ear!

Being rude to me, while you know I'm on the floor all alone with a million other customers to take care of, won't get you waited on any faster than the person who came in before you. I mean really, did you not see the thousand cars parked in the parking lot when you pulled in? By some miracle did you think I'd see you walk through that door and leave everyone else waiting while I bowed at your presence and made sure you had everything your heart desired? News Flash hunny, it' doesn't work that way. If you come in last then you get waited on last. Simple as that. I'm not Houdini, and I sure as heck do NOT have 10 arms. (Because trust me, my job would be a whole lot simpler if I did)

Let me explain the difference between a Waffle House waitress and a waitress that works at a place like Longhorn, Ruby Tuesday etc...... When you walk into (let's just say) Longhorn, the first person you see is your Hostess right? Ok that hostess will seat you, get your drink order. Then your waitress will probably come and take your order right? Ok then if you are lucky your waitress (or some other staff member) will come and deliver that order within 1/2 hour after your arrival. You might get lucky to flag someone down to get a refill at some point. Your "waitress" might pre-bus your table (i.e. getting the dirty dishes up when you are done with them) You'll pay your bill, leave her a NICE substantial tip because of the establishment that you are in. Then they will have a bus boy come and tidy that table all up for you. Right? I mean that's usually how that kinda thing works at those places. And of course places like Longhorn are a little more upscale than, say, Waffle House. And you're right, they are. But what you don't understand and what you probably fail to even notice, because your nose is shoved so far up your butt that you can't see it anyway is............ When you walk through the door at Waffle House....................

I am the person that greets you.

I am the person that brings you your silverware.

I am the person that gets your drinks.

I am the person that takes your order.

I am the person that delievers your food to you.

I am the person that makes sure your cup doesn't run dry (and yes at times I am busy and I can't get back to you right away) But I try to compensate for that (depending on your level of understanding, or if you are just being an ass)

I am the person that pre-buses your table.

I am the person that checks you out at the register.

I am the person who washes your dishes.

I am the person who cleans off the table you just left a complete and total mess.

I am the person who sweeps up the floor after you have failed to hit your mouth.

So what you are probably not understanding is the fact that I work hard for the whole $1 you may feel you need to leave me. Granted, if I'm busy and you are not the only table in the restaurant, I do my best every single time to keep myself from being frustrated at you, and try to give you the best possible service I can. I smile, I laugh, I joke with you. And yet you still feel the need to be a relentless, rude jerk. Why?

Needless to say I bust my butt to make sure that your experience at the Waffle House is an enjoyable one, because we really do want you to come back. Just please remember to leave the attitude at home or in the car. Because I am the type of waitress that just doesn't put up with it. I'll be nice as long as you are nice. Being rude the minute you walk through the door is just going to make you a lot more miserable by the time you leave (especially if you have me as the waitress)

Thank you for your understanding as you read this letter. I hope that you get the hint... We want to be friendly and courteous with you, really we do, but when you come in with a chip on your shoulder the only person you are hurting is you. Because we can forget about you sitting there altogether. Thanks for taking the time to read this, and come see me again!

Your Friendly Waffle House Waitress!


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