Another day Another Dollar_Isnt that what we say

I'd like to start by saying I work for a landscape company. Which means I'm a full-time seasonal employee who only works 9 months out of the year. That means I have 3 months of winter to do what I please. Most people would say the three months off is the best part but I disagree. I actually really enjoy my 9 months when I'm working. My only problem with my job is myself. I know it may seem like a weird thing to say, but it's true. As much as I love what I do I can't get past what goes on in my head that causes me to doubt my abilities and question my opportunities. If you keep on reading you will hear the whole story of what it is like to love what you do and at the same time fight with yourself over what happens on a daily basis. Maybe just maybe you or someone you know is the same and it might help to hear this.

I work for a big company in a small town. I say big because we service multiple cities in the surrounding area. I really like the company and their motto. The owner and people that run it are pretty good to work for. I mean they have their moments just like every company but all in all they are likable. I am in the maintenance division which is really why I am writing this because I want to share what it means to love your job.

Another day another dollar, that's a phrase all to often used by working middle-class people who feel their job is just another paycheck. Well don't tell my boss whom I'll refer to as B for this article, but I don't share that opinion. I love my job and I mean it.

Let's back up a bit and do some backstory. Four years ago I was let go from what I thought was going to be a great career in the AG industry, something I am finally at peace with thanks to the woman I am referring to as B. See about a year after I was let go I was working a temp job stocking flowers in local superstores when I saw a company was looking for someone with plant experience to work on there maintenance division. So I thought with my AG background, having taken horticulture classes and done gardening with my mother and grandmother most of life why not apply. I went for the interview where the owner, hr guy and the head of maintenance were there. I was terrified, but B was there and when I talked her I was a lot less nervous even though she was intimidating to me. I don't know what it was but something about her, made me think I really wanted this job and not just because I was having no success getting back into the AG industry. I wanted it because I could tell this was going to be a unique experience with a person I hope to learn a lot from. Well a few days later I got bad news they had picked someone else and you know what part of me wasn't surprised I had been let down a lot in my job search. I was mostly disappointed in a missed opportunity. Well, I kept at my temp job till it ended and then I got the call. The phone call that said we would like to hire you after all. I was nervous because they turned me down then wanted to hire me and I didn't have a clue why either happened. So, of course, I said yes when do I start even though in the back if mind I was saying they must not really want me because I was the second choice.

If you can't tell, I am really good at putting myself down. It is a very bad habit, one I have tried to rid myself of very unsuccessfully. Most people wouldn't know it but it's true as positive as I am most the time outside of my home inside I am not always happy go lucky me. So yes I was freaked out to have a job again when what I should have been was excited. Looking back now it seems stupid of me to have felt that way because now I wouldn't second guess my decision.

I know I am only a seasonal full-time employee who is fairly new to the game, but as of now, I keep saying I love my job. My first start with the company was rough I only worked a few months before we all were laid off for the winter. I was certain I was going to get a call stating I was not to come back for the next season. After all, I was the second choice. But one day B and I had a conversation, something you have a lot of time to do when you're two people driving around in a truck all day, she said something similar to the fact that I was her choice and I think she meant it. Again not good with positive self here so what I heard was just another line to me because I find it hard that I would be anybody's choice. Turns out the other guy who was picked before me was essentially a strong arm, muscle someone who could do heavy lifting and such, opposite of me (I'm short and don't have the appearance of being strong), but having heard that explanation and worked with the crew I could see the logic in the choice of him before me. Now knowing all this it has me all the more great-full and appreciative to be in the position I am in.

So life in work has changed, improved for the better this season. I am experiencing more the concept of planting and designing containers and annual ground beds forc ustomers with the person I will refer to as A. Now I have filled in as help for A before but not near as much as this season. I can honestly say I never thought that much about putting annuals in flower pots, but now that I have I can honestly say when you do some very cool rewarding things can happen. I don't know the whole thought process A goes through to create for our customers but I love that as a maintenance worker I get to go back and view her creations I helped bring to life. I am starting to think more about my own home and how I could do pots of flowers. I have never taken the time to do any containers before and cost wise I just couldn't spend the money but now I want to put my skills to practice. Now anyone who may know me personally may say I like this new part of work because I get hang out with both A and K all day. While that's not totally wrong it's not the main reason I like this part of my job. I really like the creative process that leaves behind work that can be admired through the seasons after all A does design for Summer, Fall, and Winter. Now I can be slow to catch on to new things at times but this is one time that slowly learning a skill is something I am super excited about. A thinks that someday she made a replacement to spearhead this work as long as I can keep myself focused and continue to learn how it's done I can honestly say I would love the challenge! For now call me the quite observer to some really cool creativity!

To be continued... Revised... and added to....