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Are You Teaching Your Child Right? Showing Vs. Telling

Updated on June 8, 2020

Suppose you are in a big convenience store and you can’t find an item. You find an attendant and ask him for the location of that item. He politely directs you, ‘Third rack and second shelf to the extreme left, sir.’ Upon reaching the directed location you are still unable to find what you are looking for. This time you find another attendant and ask him about the item. He takes you to the shelf, points at the object, you pick the object up, take it to the cash counter, pay for it and you go home happy.

Next time whenever you can’t find an object which attendant would you be looking for? Definitely, the second one. This, my friends, is the difference between showing and telling. The first one only told you where the object was kept whereas the second one showed you the object. Everyone seeks for the people who show instead of those who just tell. The ability to show how things are done is what differentiates a great leader from just a team manager who can only tell how things are done.

Actions always speak louder than words. So if you are able to back up what you say with what you can actually do, people will follow you. It does not matter if you are leading a team or teaching a class, if you are giving an interview or training a team of managers, by showing how things are done, you will always accomplish your objective instead of just telling how things are done. One of my clients, a senior professor in an engineering college once came to me with a rather peculiar problem. He was upset because he wanted to inculcate a new habit in his students but every time he tried, he failed.

He wanted them to read more books, other than those belonging to the prescribed syllabus. I suggested him that when he reached home that night, he should take a piece of paper and start to write down as many ideas as possible, no matter how far-fetched they were and come to me with that piece of paper the next day. Next morning after the training session was over he approached me on the podium and showed his inability to come up with an innovative solution.

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No problem, at least he tried. So I sat him down on one of the chairs that were now empty as the group I was training had left and asked him a simple question, ‘When you go for random and unplanned shopping spree, what is the biggest factor or the first determinant that makes you pull your hand out of your pocket and pick the item off the shelf?’ The answer was simple and we both knew it, ‘The looks of the object, of course,’ he replied. Of course, he was right. That became the basis of the solution.

I advised him that next time when he entered the class he should have a book in his hand, with a beautiful yet unique cover. It should be big and should intentionally be shown off to the students but in a nonchalant manner. He should himself read the book before talking it to the class, though.

First day when he displayed the book by carrying it to the class, he could just attract a weak murmur but nothing else. But the second day marked a breakthrough. A group of four students came up to him and asked him what the book with the attractive cover was about.

They received a simple reply from the professor, ‘Why don’t you take a look yourself?’ the students were unable to contain their enthusiasm and they pounced upon the book. That day I received a call from the happy professor saying, ‘The power of showing will always supersede the power of telling.’


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    • Gaurav Oberoi profile imageAUTHOR

      gaurav oberoi 

      2 years ago

      Right! But the most neglected thing is the most obvious, wouldn't you agree?

    • bhattuc profile image

      Umesh Chandra Bhatt 

      2 years ago from Kharghar, Navi Mumbai, India

      It is very true that children will learn only from what is shown to them in practice. It is a very crucial aspect and parents should understand it for the proper upbringing of the children.

    • Gaurav Oberoi profile imageAUTHOR

      gaurav oberoi 

      4 years ago

      Hello Mary Wickison. Thank you for the appreciation and it is good to know that you have led as a trainer. I am a soft-skills trainer myself and I train teachers in that area. You are very right in saying that showing builds a rapport with the other person. When people are shown something instead of telling them, they can conveniently follow.

    • Blond Logic profile image

      Mary Wickison 

      4 years ago from Brazil

      I always think showing is much more effective than telling. I liked your example about the grocery store because I used to train 300+ people in grocery stores in the UK. They were always told to take people to the product, partly as a courtesy but also so they find what they are looking for easily.

      Showing also builds a rapport with the other person, and it is through open connections when people are receptive to learning.

    • Gaurav Oberoi profile imageAUTHOR

      gaurav oberoi 

      4 years ago

      Thank you. This hub is for adults to revise their teaching process and reinvent it. I am a soft skills trainer by profession. In the training sessions for teachers, we analyse their teaching process and re-craft it so as to put more emphasis on showing instead of telling.

    • Ericdierker profile image

      Eric Dierker 

      4 years ago from Spring Valley, CA. U.S.A.

      Interesting and enjoyable read for adults. For children not so much. Language skills are far more important than finding an object.


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