How to Survive the Brutal Workplace
The right way to treat a Baby Seal! With love and tenderness!
Baby Seals Unite!
The workplace can be brutal especially if you are unfortunate enough to be employed for a company that is in the midst of down-sizing. Often time there is no forgiveness for even the littlest of mistakes. It sometimes seems as if your boss is just waiting for any excuse to pounce on you!
A while back I was present during one such encounter, a staff meeting which I later likened to the massacre of baby seals. It started off like any other meeting, with several over-worked and under-paid managers crammed into a small conference room with bad ventilation. This particular meeting however was somehow more intense. There was less joking that day. It was almost like some of us sensed it might be our last day.
The director wore his typical frown and looked down as he slowly entered the room. As the meeting progressed with the usual PowerPoint presentation, he gradually peppered us with question after question, most of which had no answer. Sneers escalated and sarcastic remarks flew aimlessly across the room looking for targets.
Each of us sat there quietly waiting for our turn to be slaughtered. There was an eerie silence between the loud outbursts. The director methodically went around the room and clubbed us when we tried to respond to questions that had no right answers. A friend sitting directly to my left got clubbed for simply not responding quickly enough. Another co-worker was picked off and clubbed mercilessly as she tried to get away by stepping out to the bathroom.
Fortunately I escaped unscathed that day. I cannot say the same for some of my colleagues. Later that evening we gathered at the local bar to commiserate and lick our wounds. It was then and there that I had a revelation. A vision clearly showing me that there was only one thing we could do to escape this injustice. I decided we needed to unite in order to fight the forces of corporate evil!
Yes, unite! With Corona in hand I stood and shouted UNITE! BABY SEALS UNITE! As I rallied the troops I realized we could actually do something to control our own destiny.
Stay tuned as the Baby Seals unite and begin mobilizing. More to follow in Baby Seals Networking.
Although the above was written as light-hearted humor, let me take a minute to clearly state that no baby seals were injured during the writing of this article. In addition, I would like to thank the hardworking people who tirelessly defend the baby seal population. They can be found at the following link: https://secure.humanesociety.org/site/Advocacy?pagename=homepage&page=UserAction&id=4925&s_src=lfti041511 and also at http://www.care2.com/click-to-donate/seals/