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How To Not Get A Job In ANY Economy

Updated on September 25, 2011

Speaking As Your Neighbor

Many of you know that my profession is cooking. Today, my title is " Dietary Services Manager". It means that I am responsible for overseeing the dietary concerns and restrictions of our residents, hiring, training and terminating..................why can't we just say firing?

I have to access calorie, fluid, protein, requires a lot of math.

Even though, I personally grow a very abundant garden......more than my hubby and I can consume, I am not an " approved supplier" many government regulations prevent me from feeding those that I am charged with feeding...........what a waste, of my efforts, food, and kindness.


Orange juice, apple juice, cranberry, sugar free, lemon twists, water, 1000 cc or 2400, within a day, a 12 hour period, edema, swelling, tubes...........protein shakes, calorie enhancements, low weight, weight gain, medical charts, grocery can be complicated.

It is my job to make sure that doctors orders for our residents, ( the aged, the infirmed, the veterans, the forgotten, those with no one else to care for them ) are followed.................and to face you, when you, on kidney dialysis, wants an OJ. It can be awkward. Yet, it is my job. The very one that I agreed to do, for a certain pay.

Let me assure you, that some doctors can be quite arrogant somebodies. I have been publicly chastised for those things, that PROVED to be THEIR "charting" errors and ommissions. Everyone, at some point, will need the knowledge of a doctor, even I, and mine, but the more of them that I know, the less of them that I like~

Help Wanted And Needed

It takes good people to look after your loved ones......

Cooks, bakers, prep-cooks, salad makers, dietary aides, and dishwashers.

Drinks have to be poured, lettuce has to be shredded, cakes have to be baked and " dished"....toppings, cookies, snack does not end ............EVER.......there are dishes, pots, pans, more dishes to be washed, more pots and pans, another round of goes on and on and on.........

The " higher ups" are SCREAMING at me about, first the food budget and then the labor budget, and finally the overtime..............

There is NO break for sleep is haunted.

I can not walk through a " wal -mart", without thinking how I could use this item in my kitchen! Really, I can not.........

I can not eat, anything, anywhere, anytime,......without thinking................somebody washed this plate, this fork, this glass, this salad bowl, this desert dish..............

How many of us take this back breaking work for granted. If not in the industry, I would too......Most of us go out to eat, just so we can be unburdened by these details. Being in "the profession", when I go out to eat, I am in "manager" mode.........nitpicking every single that a spot on my fork, where is my coffee creamer, shouldn't the waiter(ess) have been here with my water, my ketchup, my staw, my jelly.................the butter is " centered" in the middle of my toast............I like all of my toast buttered.!!

My people, do not go out to eat............they trust me. They have no other options, I feed the lonely, the homeless, the infirmed.......the forgotten, those, who have been tucked away, to ease the burden on loved ones..............sometimes, they have NO family vistiors for months at a time........They expect, and ( they deserve) that I will oversee every single little detail....they have so much trust or dependance on me, that they, forget that I, too, am human, and sometimes, " I mess up".....................they NEVER stop telling, that tale!

Those who still have a mental ability to reason, realize, that I am there day after day, sometimes into the night, and back again at breakfast, and their own beloved son, daughter, niece, sister, brother..........has not been there for months..................

So, really, I get "beat up", from the administrators, because, I forget to order brown sugar? REALLY!

I Have Asked For Help

My kitchen needs......cooks, aides, prep people and dishwashers. The ads have gone out.......the newspaper, the internet job boards, the colleges, and even small town bulletin boards.........HIRING!

Here You Come

No experience..........OK, so , you have no bad habits.........I can teach you

Retired, and can only earn so much income, aside from your retirement.............hey, no threat from me! We simply do not pay that well.........

College student of " culinary" courses..............already you THINK that you know more about feeding people than I do..........THIS is about mass production, not garnishing the palate......but, I do need help and you need experience. I already know, that you will be leaving me shortly.

Only want to work part- time?............OK, but then YOU want to dictate what "time" you work the part of..........not a good start. We feed 24/7........just like people eat.

You need to know what to do with this chunck of meat.......or else, you are not a cook!

Job Seekers

If you are sincerly looking for work, the food service industry is a great field find work fast. That does not mean that there are NO guidelines. There is a standard, a safety, and a legal, a dependabilty aspect to this field.

So You Want To Work In Food Service

As a hiring manger, I am going to tell you some things that you will probably not see on the job boards, that might be politically incorrect, that might strike you out, and why I would simply rather do it all myself. It is not going to be pretty to some of you!

1) Bring you own damn not come to me, applying for a job and ask me for a pen to fill out your application! Yes, I do have one, I also have a marker, a hi-lighter, and a roll of date tapes.............they are the tools of my job.

2) Put some clothes on! Wear your flip flops and cut offs to the beach! Come DRESSED to work.........not to the nines........but cover your nakedness. I am not impressed by your "sexiness" is a killer.

3) Leave your children with someone you trust..........they do not belong on the interview. YES, they should be the most important people in your life, but if you can't provide care for them for a 30 minute interview, HOW can you manage their care for 8 hours.......or 9?

4) Leave your friends elsewhere, this is NOT a group encounter! You are automatically ruled out............I am interested in you, not your possee. If you can't come here, and apply for work, without your friends, I can not trust you to make it through your shift without them..........just do not do this! JUST DO NOT!

5) You are applying for a job that I need to fill, and I have posted the shift not meet me at the door with your list of demands..........

6)......PLEASE do not accept terms that you can not accept............ I told you the hours, the requirements, the pay......................DO NOT accept my terms, just to bitch about them a few weeks later and bring negative things to those few who have proven their loyalty.............Save us both the time and paperwork.

7)...........I run a not come at noon...........expecting that I have "time" to interview you...............I do not, neither do I have time during a grocery delivery. If you can not call ahead and ask, " when would be convenient for you".................just do not bother to pop in.

8) DO NOT call me and ask, " about or checking on my application".................your " application" is just fine...........the problem is with your presentation. GET THIS..........if you can not do your application properly, or at least, can not perform to the standards that I require.................GET THE APP RIGHT..........fill in the phone numbers, the addresses.........the dates............WRITE Legibly...........if I can not read your app, I can not read your date codes..........your instructions, your notes...........GET THIS RIGHT

I need help, not children to babysit, or teach basic skills to.......if you can not add fractions, you can not adjust a recipie, if you can not count, you will not know how many juices to prepare.

If you can not speak English..................well, quite frankly, there must be hungry , elderly, infirmed and hungry people in your native country. I AM NOT teaching an international language class..........I simply am not...............

You want a and note that you have a pending application, that you are available for 1st, 2nd, or 3rd shifts, and SCHEDULE an appointment.

Once, I cover you..............YOU become less important to me. That IS the bottom line. I CAN do your job............I have even cooked, and done the dishes..........there was a nurse aid, willing to pour the drinks. I have already been the only one in the kitchen!

You have not taught me a have shown me, how easily replaceable that you are.

Think about that....................before you tell the next manager, what a good worker you are, and how you are willing to do anything.


As the manager, I already have a order the groceries, to check them in. I have to make sure that stock is dated and rotated. I must be sure that my cooks have the needed food supplies to ensure that the prescribed diets and menus can be adhered to. I must make sure that the steam tables function at operating temperatutres...that the dish washing machines have the needed and required soaps, disinfectants and meet temperature guidelines.

It is ME who determines what calorie and fluid intake a person should have on a daily basis. It is my name on the dotted line, in deciding if they need a protein or calorie supplement, if they should avoid carbs, or sugar, if they are allergic to pasta, apples, strawberries or fish.......You are not charged with these things..........I AM! Unless, you want this responsibility, be very cautious, in telling your coworkers, how much better you could run things.

I must deal with budget issues, charting issues, safety issues, health and safety issues. I am not " sitting on my butt" allday, as the worst of you on the front lines might think........No, I am defending you and your decisions. It is MY NAME on the inspection, the accountability, the budget reports................NOT A SINGLE ONE OF YOU, will be taking MY concerns home with you and discussing them at the dinner, you will be complaining about your boss............that's me!

I must make sure that all peoples or resident diets are being adhered too, charted, and notes are being taken on variations of those prescribed diets............I must face Doctors, administrators, budget concerns, delivery concerns.......nursing is my job to answer the midnight call....

It is MY name on the bottom line of a long list of do's and don'ts.................I HAVE a full time is NOT my job to 'cover your shift'.........................bring your ass to work and do your appointed job!

"Management", Is Not A Machine

Management, does not have an easy life...........I have received calls of people not reporting to work at 4 am, at noon, while on a motorcycle ride, while sick, while at the hair stylist..........even when my hubby was buying me a "renewal" wedding band! There is no "off-time", no time, none, that I can not be interrupted. I once quite frankly, answered the phone............" who are you and what do you want " is simply unfair to me and my family, that we have no interruped time. Sometimes, I resent it a great deal.

There was even a young man, who called me, on " my day off", at 5am, to ask me if he was supposed to work, " tomorrow"!

Management must know how to quickly and effieciently respond to cook? That's what I am here aide, well, I can make a cake and pour drinks, heck, I can even wash dishes.............that's my role.

Then , there are the calls from MY boss...........!

Have Some Understanding

I grew up at the knee of a woman, who had little, who could day after day, feed a large family.........still, she did not feed 125.

I grew up, learning early about various chores, gathering eggs, feeding the cows, weeding the garden, washing dishes.............but not 1525 single pieces of dishes each and every day.

Know what you are applying for, understand the depth and commitment of the job. Coming from a large family, is simply, not enough preperation.............I have learned this, and I can spot your BS as you walk through the door.

If your last 4-6 jobs, ended, as a result of " poor management"...............I am not interested in what you might say about me, a month from now. Take some responsibility, and testify to some learning and growing.

If you intend to hire in as a dishwasher or aide, then proceed to tell me how much better you would be at my job, than I am...........refer back to the fluid intake, the calorie count, the renal diet, the LCS or NCS diets..................volunteer to take my chastisement over the grocery budget!


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    • KoffeeKlatch Gals profile image

      Susan Hazelton 

      7 years ago from Sunny Florida

      Terrific hub. I can't imagine why someone would go to a job interview with a list of demands or unsuitable clothes, but, believe it or not it happens quite ofter. Up and awesome.

    • onegoodwoman profile imageAUTHOR


      8 years ago from A small southern town


      Thank you, for your visit to my hub, and for

      your comment!

    • one2get2no profile image

      Philip Cooper 

      8 years ago from Olney

      Excellent hub. Thank you.

    • onegoodwoman profile imageAUTHOR


      8 years ago from A small southern town

      TY, cookingrecipes.................this hub has been a slow grower....

      It is good, to have another, see my view point!

    • onegoodwoman profile imageAUTHOR


      8 years ago from A small southern town


      Your rude assumptions?

      Thanks for reading and taking the time to

      comment.........I do hope to see you elsehere

      on HP.

    • learnlovelive profile image


      8 years ago from U.S.

      Truly excited to read the Hub about my rude assumptions. Will be an interesting critique. I like your writing style.

    • onegoodwoman profile imageAUTHOR


      8 years ago from A small southern town


      Thank you for the time you have spent reading my hubs.

      There is SO much to know about canning, jams and jellies.

      The info is everywhere, and yet, it is all very basic.

      I could write volumes, but I would be re-writing them for you........

      This is a site that I higly recommend. You can also consult, "Good Housekeeping", " The Farmers Almanac", and others that may have been recommended to you.

      In my own best cooking opinion, there is simply not much that I will not put into a soup or salad.

      The differences are, the dressings, the broth ( a thin liquid) or a gravy for stews.

      Throw it in the pot and let it simmer.

      Cooking and perserving involves personal tastes! I might like it hot and you perfer mild..........adapt all recepies to your and your family's tastes.

      Carmel onions, seed onions, salad onions..............check out Good Housekeeping, All Recepies, and Cooks...........all are online, and provide adaptable recepies.

      Good luck to you in your kitchen ventures!

    • platinumOwl4 profile image


      8 years ago

      Hello, onegoodwoman, I found this article to be interesting, informative and useful. However I was interested in another article of yours but it was posted about 13 months ago. How about those onions in the jar. Since you are from a small town in the south, I am in search of a good peach, apricot, preserve recipe. I want a do it yourself recipe. any assistance you can give is appreciated. Oh! by the way is their an easy way to make consume I enjoy homemade soup and I don't want any out of the jar, box or can ingredients.

    • onegoodwoman profile imageAUTHOR


      8 years ago from A small southern town

      Dear Cleaner3.......

      you can reach my hubby at this number *** *** ****!

      Thanks, for your vote of confidence, but do not ask more

      of me than I can live up to!

    • cleaner3 profile image


      8 years ago from Pueblo, Colorado

      I started to read your hub, but got lost after a while so I just kept going back to the pic of your beautiful face.

      I worked in food service for a while and it ain't easy.

      Admire your tenacity.

      P.S. you are not onegoodwoman,youare one hellava woman

    • onegoodwoman profile imageAUTHOR


      8 years ago from A small southern town

      Well Hello Giselle!

      Hoping your new year is off to

      a good start. I have missed


    • giselle2323 profile image


      8 years ago from Peterborough, Ontario

      Hello My Friend,

      I may be late in reading this but I LOVED IT! I am sorry that you are forced to go through so much nonsense in order to do your job. I know how from our time on line, how important you take your work. You have a strong work ethic. That is something that is lacking in today's society. We find that people want something for nothing and that is ridiculous. I was brought up to work hard and be proud of what I accomplish, stay humble but maintain my ambition. This is an excellent post that I hope many read!

    • onegoodwoman profile imageAUTHOR


      8 years ago from A small southern town

      Year ago, while still in retail, a young man can in looking for a job as a stock boy.

      We chatted for a bit, and I handed him an application. He asked me for a pen...............

      My reply was something like this:

      Here you are old enough to drive, look for a job, and you presented yourself pretty well...........all of that, and you didn't know that you would need a pen?

      He never faltered! He said,

      "I'll buy one, what isle are they on?

      He gave as good as he got! I pegged him for a fast thinker. He got the job, and he made me a good hand.

    • Judicastro profile image


      8 years ago from birmingham, Alabama

      Hey friend

      I've been out of touch for a very long long time...

      Loved reading this! How are things going in Oklahoma?

      I so appreciated this that I'm going to read it to my business partner. We run a staffing agency and oh my so much of what you said rang too true. My favorite pet peeve is when a young man comes in with sagging pants, hat and more blink than the local jewelry store and bringing in tow baby and baby mama and a friend or two. Then after you miraculously find a position for them the phone calls start, "I ran out of gas on the way to work" well you knew you were running low when you got home last night wouldn't it have been a good idea to stop before you got there and at least put in enough to get to work the next day? I overslept, my babies sick, my cousin's cousin died and so on.

      Thanks for sharing this insight into your world!

    • onegoodwoman profile imageAUTHOR


      8 years ago from A small southern town


      Hello again, new friend.......

      You had no idea how timely your response would be.

      Today, was the 3rd day of working with a new cook........My kitchen has been short a cook for 4 months now.........this lady is an asset, and I am grateful for her walking through my doors......She is sharp!

      She was serviving the noon meal, a hectic time, and I was backing her on the grill.......we were serving Rueben sandwhiches........

      At 12:10, an aide, announces, your interviewer has goes something like this

      Your interview is here

      I have no interview scheduled

      Well, they said they were here to interview for kitchen work

      At Noon?

      They said........

      Not at noon, not in a kitchen.

      ( my dietary aide) comes to their defense.........

      maybe they did not know you would be busy

      Mary, this is a kitchen..........ALL kitchens are busy at noon...........they have already told me that they know nothing of working in a kitchen.

      I am hard like that!

    • CloudExplorer profile image

      Mike Pugh 

      8 years ago from New York City

      I've always listened to my mom and pop's, who've went before me into the corporate world, and not everyone has a professional family.

      You've pointed out some interesting and very well known errors that many folks either make, or have made at one time or another.

      This hub is awesome when it comes to usefulness for those who are new to job interviewing for sure, and those who still can't get it right.

      Great read! Voted up on all aspects it was beautifully written.

      Thanks for sharing @ Onegoodwoman

    • onegoodwoman profile imageAUTHOR


      9 years ago from A small southern town

      Tim.....good to hear from you again.

      I read the news, people are out of work, by

      the tens of thousands, community centers, libraries,

      are offering resume building advice, interviewing tips,

      how to persent yourself in your best light.....etc

      Still, they come by the tens, with tots in tow....( you know, if they were honest with me, I would accept the child), but I am caughty in the mother/cranky child, crossfire. They come, in duos, and even in trios, interview me, then my friend, and then my other friend.....

      they come in cut off blue jeans, flip-flop type shoes, and loaded with costume jewelry.

      I, now, honestly, think that many of them, come hoping NOT to be hired, so they can remain on food stamps, public housing, childcare assistance............some of

      them might really be unknowing on how to job search.

      I run a professional quality kitchen, that serves our seniors and our disabled. We are not walking dogs or washing cars.

      Yes, I just had to let off some steam. Protocol will not allow me to toss them out the door, or to even trash their application.

    • tmbridgeland profile image


      9 years ago from Small Town, Illinois

      Wow, I gotta wonder what single event triggered this one! A long series of events that just suddenly had to escape your fingertips, I'd guess. Great advise for anyone looking for a job. I feel sorry for my current boss, she HAD to hire me, I am a childhood friend, and current fellow church member, of the owner, who left a meeting to greet me when I came for the interview. I'd have had to seriously screw up the interview!

    • onegoodwoman profile imageAUTHOR


      9 years ago from A small southern town


      Here it is:

      Those who impress me, and convince me that I WANT them in my corner...........accept a better paying job, before I can get them " processed".

      At the time, that I worked in school cafeterias, I found so much fault...........Now, I am considering going back, just for the hours!

    • Phil Plasma profile image

      Phil Plasma 

      9 years ago from Montreal, Quebec

      I can only imagine some of the people who have applied, or who have tried to interview with you for a position and who have all failed. You've given a ton of reasons why or how someone would fail. Maybe another hub you could write about how one would succeed.

    • onegoodwoman profile imageAUTHOR


      9 years ago from A small southern town


      What a great compliment.......

      I remember watching Wonder Woman as a girl.

      It will be ME cooking all the shifts and washing

      the dishes on the shifts that I can't cover. It is

      my personal vow............

      Without good help, I will do it myself.

      Thank you so very much, for coming by.

    • onegoodwoman profile imageAUTHOR


      9 years ago from A small southern town


      I am glad that you found some humor, but

      it was really written to VENT!

      Thanks for your support~~

    • profile image


      9 years ago

      OGW, this article was hilarious, even while being completely serious...and I know, you've run into each and every character you've described herein. It's often a thankless job, management is, and personnel are by far the biggest hurdle on an everyday basis. Completely great and voted up with unbounded enthusiasm :)TR

    • profile image


      9 years ago

      My god you take a great photo! The Lynda Carter of the Lunch Ladies. Tough business you're in. Nice job of opening eyes to the boss's view of things. You've got some attitude about it, but that's easily understandable once one sees the mierda you encounter. Cook on!

    • onegoodwoman profile imageAUTHOR


      9 years ago from A small southern town


      Thanks, sometimes, I just have to let

      the stress go!

      Glad you came by~~

    • ubanichijioke profile image

      Alexander Thandi Ubani 

      9 years ago from Lagos

      Great piece and tips.

      Like your sense of humor too.


    • onegoodwoman profile imageAUTHOR


      9 years ago from A small southern town


      How good to see you again!

      I have all these ideas and stories in my head, but

      by the time I get to the keyboard, I have forgotten

      most of what I had to say...

      Hope you are well.

    • onegoodwoman profile imageAUTHOR


      9 years ago from A small southern town

      Hello Stessily,

      Thanks for your kind words`

      Recently, I hired a man who said he had been

      an army camp cook. I asked a couple of questions

      and he said that he had cooked on base and in a

      mobile kitchen. It just reasons, that you if you

      can cook for the army, you can cook anywhere.

      Wrong! I figured I was in trouble when he needed me

      to show him how to work the countertop can opener.

      He walked out during the second mornings breakfast, when

      I asked him why we could not pick up the bacon without

      it crumbling, his answer........." I cooked 3 pans, just like you said to"......we just can't serve burnt


    • Fullerman5000 profile image


      9 years ago from Louisiana, USA

      It surprises me the lack of professionalism in today's society. Some of the ways I have seen people dress for interviews blows my mind. I totally agree with a lot of the advice you have mentioned on here. When people pull that crap and are not professional, its a lack a respect to the one hiring. Great words of advice and glad to see you writing again.

    • profile image


      9 years ago

      onegoodwoman: That's quite a day's work there! People I've known with food service careers tell me that there's a surprising misperception that anyone who can cook in their own kitchen often think that they easily can work in food service. Wrong! There's so much to consider, from regulations and required heating/cooling temperatures to dietary considerations. And the sanitary issue is of prime importance. It sounds as though you care, and that is a precious outlook.

      Thank you for sharing.

    • onegoodwoman profile imageAUTHOR


      9 years ago from A small southern town


      How so much, I appreciate your voice!

      Thank you for coming to my hub~~!

    • thelyricwriter profile image

      Richard Ricky Hale 

      9 years ago from West Virginia

      I use to be a food service manager for Canteen at a prison over seeing bland diets, diabetics, ect. You make great points and understandably so. Many people don't understand the stress involved and perfect plates for whatever is served. I leanred the inmate games and can read them all through, at least a high percentage. You know what you are talking about and for that, you can say what ever you want girl. Voted up!

    • onegoodwoman profile imageAUTHOR


      9 years ago from A small southern town

      ty, Angela Kane..........

      so few have responded.........I wonder, if either, I did a poor job, or if, I am speaking to the masses who see themselves!

    • Angela Kane profile image

      Angela Kane 

      9 years ago from Las Vegas, Nevada

      Very good hub.


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