How To Not Get A Job In ANY Economy
Speaking As Your Neighbor
Many of you know that my profession is cooking. Today, my title is " Dietary Services Manager". It means that I am responsible for overseeing the dietary concerns and restrictions of our residents, hiring, training and terminating..................why can't we just say firing?
I have to access calorie, fluid, protein, requirements...............it requires a lot of math.
Even though, I personally grow a very abundant garden......more than my hubby and I can consume, I am not an " approved supplier"............so many government regulations prevent me from feeding those that I am charged with feeding...........what a waste, of my efforts, food, and kindness.
Fluids
Orange juice, apple juice, cranberry, sugar free, lemon twists, water, 1000 cc or 2400, within a day, a 12 hour period, edema, swelling, tubes...........protein shakes, calorie enhancements, low weight, weight gain, medical charts, grocery ordering.......it can be complicated.
It is my job to make sure that doctors orders for our residents, ( the aged, the infirmed, the veterans, the forgotten, those with no one else to care for them ) are followed.................and to face you, when you, on kidney dialysis, wants an OJ. It can be awkward. Yet, it is my job. The very one that I agreed to do, for a certain pay.
Let me assure you, that some doctors can be quite arrogant somebodies. I have been publicly chastised for those things, that PROVED to be THEIR "charting" errors and ommissions. Everyone, at some point, will need the knowledge of a doctor, even I, and mine, but the more of them that I know, the less of them that I like~
Help Wanted And Needed
It takes good people to look after your loved ones......
Cooks, bakers, prep-cooks, salad makers, dietary aides, and dishwashers.
Drinks have to be poured, lettuce has to be shredded, cakes have to be baked and " dished"....toppings, cookies, snack carts..............it does not end ............EVER.......there are dishes, pots, pans, more dishes to be washed, more pots and pans, another round of dishes.......it goes on and on and on.........
The " higher ups" are SCREAMING at me about, first the food budget and then the labor budget, and finally the overtime..............
There is NO break for me.........my sleep is haunted.
I can not walk through a " wal -mart", without thinking how I could use this item in my kitchen! Really, I can not.........
I can not eat, anything, anywhere, anytime,......without thinking................somebody washed this plate, this fork, this glass, this salad bowl, this desert dish..............
How many of us take this back breaking work for granted. If not in the industry, I would too......Most of us go out to eat, just so we can be unburdened by these details. Being in "the profession", when I go out to eat, I am in "manager" mode.........nitpicking every single detail........is that a spot on my fork, where is my coffee creamer, shouldn't the waiter(ess) have been here with my water, my ketchup, my staw, my jelly.................the butter is " centered" in the middle of my toast............I like all of my toast buttered.!!
My people, do not go out to eat............they trust me. They have no other options, I feed the lonely, the homeless, the infirmed.......the forgotten, those, who have been tucked away, to ease the burden on loved ones..............sometimes, they have NO family vistiors for months at a time........They expect, and ( they deserve) that I will oversee every single little detail....they have so much trust or dependance on me, that they, forget that I, too, am human, and sometimes, " I mess up".....................they NEVER stop telling, that tale!
Those who still have a mental ability to reason, realize, that I am there day after day, sometimes into the night, and back again at breakfast, and their own beloved son, daughter, niece, sister, brother..........has not been there for months..................
So, really, I get "beat up", from the administrators, because, I forget to order brown sugar? REALLY!
I Have Asked For Help
My kitchen needs......cooks, aides, prep people and dishwashers. The ads have gone out.......the newspaper, the internet job boards, the colleges, and even small town bulletin boards.........HIRING!
Here You Come
No experience..........OK, so , you have no bad habits.........I can teach you
Retired, and can only earn so much income, aside from your retirement.............hey, no threat from me! We simply do not pay that well.........
College student of " culinary" courses..............already you THINK that you know more about feeding people than I do..........THIS is about mass production, not garnishing the palate......but, I do need help and you need experience. I already know, that you will be leaving me shortly.
Only want to work part- time?............OK, but then YOU want to dictate what "time" you work the part of..........not a good start. We feed 24/7........just like people eat.
You need to know what to do with this chunck of meat.......or else, you are not a cook!
Job Seekers
If you are sincerly looking for work, the food service industry is a great field .......to find work fast. That does not mean that there are NO guidelines. There is a standard, a safety, and a legal, a dependabilty aspect to this field.
So You Want To Work In Food Service
As a hiring manger, I am going to tell you some things that you will probably not see on the job boards, that might be politically incorrect, that might strike you out, and why I would simply rather do it all myself. It is not going to be pretty to some of you!
1) Bring you own damn pen.................do not come to me, applying for a job and ask me for a pen to fill out your application! Yes, I do have one, I also have a marker, a hi-lighter, and a roll of date tapes.............they are the tools of my job.
2) Put some clothes on! Wear your flip flops and cut offs to the beach! Come DRESSED to work.........not to the nines........but cover your nakedness. I am not impressed by your "sexiness"..............it is a killer.
3) Leave your children with someone you trust..........they do not belong on the interview. YES, they should be the most important people in your life, but if you can't provide care for them for a 30 minute interview, HOW can you manage their care for 8 hours.......or 9?
4) Leave your friends elsewhere, this is NOT a group encounter! You are automatically ruled out............I am interested in you, not your possee. If you can't come here, and apply for work, without your friends, I can not trust you to make it through your shift without them..........just do not do this! JUST DO NOT!
5) You are applying for a job that I need to fill, and I have posted the shift hours........do not meet me at the door with your list of demands..........
6)......PLEASE do not accept terms that you can not accept............ I told you the hours, the requirements, the pay......................DO NOT accept my terms, just to bitch about them a few weeks later and bring negative things to those few who have proven their loyalty.............Save us both the time and paperwork.
7)...........I run a KITCHEN............do not come at noon...........expecting that I have "time" to interview you...............I do not, neither do I have time during a grocery delivery. If you can not call ahead and ask, " when would be convenient for you".................just do not bother to pop in.
8) DO NOT call me and ask, " about or checking on my application".................your " application" is just fine...........the problem is with your presentation. GET THIS..........if you can not do your application properly, or at least, acceptably......you can not perform to the standards that I require.................GET THE APP RIGHT..........fill in the phone numbers, the addresses.........the dates............WRITE Legibly...........if I can not read your app, I can not read your date codes..........your instructions, your notes...........GET THIS RIGHT
I need help, not children to babysit, or teach basic skills to.......if you can not add fractions, you can not adjust a recipie, if you can not count, you will not know how many juices to prepare.
If you can not speak English..................well, quite frankly, there must be hungry , elderly, infirmed and hungry people in your native country. I AM NOT teaching an international language class..........I simply am not...............
You want a job...................call and note that you have a pending application, that you are available for 1st, 2nd, or 3rd shifts, and SCHEDULE an appointment.
Once, I cover you..............YOU become less important to me. That IS the bottom line. I CAN do your job............I have even cooked, and done the dishes..........there was a nurse aid, willing to pour the drinks. I have already been the only one in the kitchen!
You have not taught me a lesson..........you have shown me, how easily replaceable that you are.
Think about that....................before you tell the next manager, what a good worker you are, and how you are willing to do anything.
UNDERSTAND THIS
As the manager, I already have a job............to order the groceries, to check them in. I have to make sure that stock is dated and rotated. I must be sure that my cooks have the needed food supplies to ensure that the prescribed diets and menus can be adhered to. I must make sure that the steam tables function at operating temperatutres...that the dish washing machines have the needed and required soaps, disinfectants and meet temperature guidelines.
It is ME who determines what calorie and fluid intake a person should have on a daily basis. It is my name on the dotted line, in deciding if they need a protein or calorie supplement, if they should avoid carbs, or sugar, if they are allergic to pasta, apples, strawberries or fish.......You are not charged with these things..........I AM! Unless, you want this responsibility, be very cautious, in telling your coworkers, how much better you could run things.
I must deal with budget issues, charting issues, safety issues, health and safety issues. I am not " sitting on my butt" allday, as the worst of you on the front lines might think........No, I am defending you and your decisions. It is MY NAME on the inspection, the accountability, the budget reports................NOT A SINGLE ONE OF YOU, will be taking MY concerns home with you and discussing them at the dinner table................no, you will be complaining about your boss............that's me!
I must make sure that all peoples or resident diets are being adhered too, charted, and notes are being taken on variations of those prescribed diets............I must face Doctors, administrators, budget concerns, delivery concerns.......nursing concerns..............it is my job to answer the midnight call....
It is MY name on the bottom line of a long list of do's and don'ts.................I HAVE a full time job..........it is NOT my job to 'cover your shift'.........................bring your ass to work and do your appointed job!
"Management", Is Not A Machine
Management, does not have an easy life...........I have received calls of people not reporting to work at 4 am, at noon, while on a motorcycle ride, while sick, while at the hair stylist..........even when my hubby was buying me a "renewal" wedding band! There is no "off-time", no time, none, that I can not be interrupted. I once quite frankly, answered the phone............" who are you and what do you want "...........it is simply unfair to me and my family, that we have no interruped time. Sometimes, I resent it a great deal.
There was even a young man, who called me, on " my day off", at 5am, to ask me if he was supposed to work, " tomorrow"!
Management must know how to quickly and effieciently respond to changes.........no cook? That's what I am here for...........no aide, well, I can make a cake and pour drinks, heck, I can even wash dishes.............that's my role.
Then , there are the calls from MY boss...........!
Have Some Understanding
I grew up at the knee of a woman, who had little, who could day after day, feed a large family.........still, she did not feed 125.
I grew up, learning early about various chores, gathering eggs, feeding the cows, weeding the garden, washing dishes.............but not 1525 single pieces of dishes each and every day.
Know what you are applying for, understand the depth and commitment of the job. Coming from a large family, is simply, not enough preperation.............I have learned this, and I can spot your BS as you walk through the door.
If your last 4-6 jobs, ended, as a result of " poor management"...............I am not interested in what you might say about me, a month from now. Take some responsibility, and testify to some learning and growing.
If you intend to hire in as a dishwasher or aide, then proceed to tell me how much better you would be at my job, than I am...........refer back to the fluid intake, the calorie count, the renal diet, the LCS or NCS diets..................volunteer to take my chastisement over the grocery budget!
