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How should you deal with not getting what you want (at work or school, from friends or family, anything)?

Updated on November 6, 2008

Want or Need?


"You can't always get what you want

And if you try sometime you find

You get what you need " Rolling Stones

Sometimes what we want isn't really what we 'need', we just don't

know it. Several seemingly tragic and painful things have

happened in my life, and at the time it seemed that they were so

unfair and painful that I wouldn't survive them. But, a few years

later I was in a much better 'place' or situation because of them.

For example, one of my co-workers was quitting her job and my

boss offered it to me. I was doing secretarial work which was

quickly spirling into endless data entry. The new job included

interviewing volunteers, taking an active part in the community

and getting the heck out of that office once in a while. I accepted

and started planning on getting a few new clothes for this job and

maybe even a car that was only eight-years-old instead of tweleve.

I was doing the proverbial happy dance. This was on a Friday.

On Monday my boss informed me that I was not getting the job

because her boss wanted me to stay where I was, because after

all, who else would do all that data entry (for the low wages

I was making at the time, I'm sure). I was devastated, and then

I had to share my office with the 'new' employee who gushed

on the phone to her friend's about how great her new job was

how she was going to get 'the office girl' (AKA - me) to help her

redo the paperwork for her! I swear to God, I had chest pains

when I heard that. So, I said nothing, looked for another job,

and found one. It was the best decision I ever made and had I

not experienced that disappointment I might still be there

under the flickering and buzzing flouroescent lights plugging

numbers into a machine.

There are several other life-experiences that have turned out

the same way for me. And once I get past the 'why me?!' part

and realize it really was what I needed and not what I wanted,

I developed a whole new, more positive attitude.

So, be patient and give it time. You're seemingly 'bad time' may

be just what you really need to move forward in your life.


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    • meeshee1 profile image

      meeshee1 9 years ago

      I totally agree. Actually I am in the same boat now with a job I have, so I have to reall work towards training my brain to not be upset and feel victimized. Instead, I have to just pull myself up by my bootstraps and say, ok, it's time to move on and do something for me. It's the only true way to get what you want. You have to TAKE it!! :)

    • helenathegreat profile image

      helenathegreat 9 years ago from Manhattan

      Wow, that advice really helps. Getting over the "Why me?" part is the most important; only then can you move on. Thanks for answering my request!