ArtsAutosBooksBusinessEducationEntertainmentFamilyFashionFoodGamesGenderHealthHolidaysHomeHubPagesPersonal FinancePetsPoliticsReligionSportsTechnologyTravel

How to Avoid Getting a Job - Teen Tips

Updated on June 16, 2014
Source

So you've reached that age now where it's expected of you to get a job. You've benefited from the state and the parents' house for long enough and it's about time you put something back into the system.

Perhaps you've just turned 16, you've not got long left of school. Perhaps you've finished school altogether. Perhaps you've been without a job for the past 10 years (in which case you don't need to read this article, seems you're doing a pretty decent job of it already) but either way, you're too lazy, too scared, or too busy (yeah right) to get a job.

I've been a successful jobless citizen for my entire life. Here's how...

How old are you?

See results

Look Busy

"I'm working on a novel."

"I'm building a motorcycle."

"I need a social life."

"I need to focus on my exams."

"I'm looking after my grandfather."

"I'm tidying my room."

"I'm breaking a world record on Sonic The Hedgehog."

"Can't you see I'm busy?"

Pull a Rene Descartes

The guy just used to lay in bed all day 'pondering'. He was basically just an overgrown teenager and he's now considered one of the most influential thinkers of our time! He's a pretty important dude you know. Laying in bed until 1:00pm brings great potential for success. Moreover, he actually died from lack of sleep when he had to start getting up early to tutor the Queen of Sweden. Look it up, I'm not kidding.

Source

Act like you've tried.

"This town's tiny, there are no jobs."

"This city's massive, there's too much competition for jobs."

"I've handed out so many C.Vs and no one's gotten in touch."

"The cleaner at the supermarket is due to retire soon, I'll take her job."

"It's all in the news, job opportunities are depleting."

"They said I needed experience for the job. But I need the job for experience!"

"They told me I was under qualified."

"They told me I was over qualified."

"I've tried."

"I'm trying."

Be rubbish on purpose

When you're handing out CVs give it straight to the girl behind the till without asking for the manager or asking if there are any jobs going. The CV should have no references, no experience, no contact details, and make sure you don't proof read or spell check.

If you somehow get an interview, turn up in dungarees.

Make yourself look as scruffy as possible!
Make yourself look as scruffy as possible! | Source

Claim you've got one

"I'm a musician."

"I'm a writer."

"I work freelance."

"I'm offended, those ARE real jobs."

"I clean Bob's car from down the road."

"I guard the items at the auction every week."

"I go to football training."

"That's not a hobby! I want to pursue a career in football!"

"I babysit my little sister."

"It doesn't matter that I don't get paid for it."

"Sometimes I find change in the vending machine."

Help around the house

If you're still living at home then the reason why you're being pushed into getting a job is probably because you're eating their food, using their electricity, and causing a mess. So, not only should you make sure to clean up after yourself, but you should also go out of your way to make the house look nice and clean and tidy for when your parents come home.

Cook their dinner for them, they've had a hard day at work.

Do the garden and take the trash out.

If you're a help rather than a burden at home, they'll soon be changing their minds and they'll be doing everything they can to stop you leaving the house and focusing your energies elsewhere!

Source

Miscellaneous

"I'm not very well."

"I can't go outdoors, there's too much pollution."

"Buddhists say life is about happiness. A job wouldn't make me happy."

"Go away, I've got a great kill streak here."

"My hamster died and I'm still in mourning."

"I don't want anything so I don't need a job."

"Life's not about money."

"Why should I when you're still giving me my allowance?"

"No I wasn't asking you to take away my allowance!"

"I'll do it in the morning."

Have you had a job before?

See results

And now you know.

Trust me, this advice is perfectly sound. Most of the tips here have come from experience!

Okay so maybe some of these excuses aren't great. Maybe it's not such a good idea to take my advice.

But take this advice: falling into a routine of doing nothing does not make you happy, in fact, it can be the spiral down towards loneliness, boredom and depression. So if you don't want to get a job, and you can somehow get away with not applying for one, then make sure you're still doing something to get you out there and stay active. It'll do you the world of good.

Believe me, feeling like you've accomplished something is one of the greatest feelings there are, and sometimes coming home from a hard day's work will give you that feeling.

Good luck!

Comments

    0 of 8192 characters used
    Post Comment

    • Amy Naylor profile image
      Author

      Amy Naylor 3 years ago from England

      That's exactly what I'm telling myself too! Who cares if I'm not getting paid? Haha, thanks for the comment.

    • CatherineGiordano profile image

      Catherine Giordano 3 years ago from Orlando Florida

      You know these excuses work at any stage of life.my excuse is "Writing for HubPages and doing blogs IS work."

    • Amy Naylor profile image
      Author

      Amy Naylor 4 years ago from England

      Cheers Billy, just speaking as any teen would I'm sure!

    • billybuc profile image

      Bill Holland 4 years ago from Olympia, WA

      You have a great sense of humor...dry and sarcastic, just like mine. Love this!

    working

    This website uses cookies

    As a user in the EEA, your approval is needed on a few things. To provide a better website experience, hubpages.com uses cookies (and other similar technologies) and may collect, process, and share personal data. Please choose which areas of our service you consent to our doing so.

    For more information on managing or withdrawing consents and how we handle data, visit our Privacy Policy at: "https://hubpages.com/privacy-policy#gdpr"

    Show Details
    Necessary
    HubPages Device IDThis is used to identify particular browsers or devices when the access the service, and is used for security reasons.
    LoginThis is necessary to sign in to the HubPages Service.
    Google RecaptchaThis is used to prevent bots and spam. (Privacy Policy)
    AkismetThis is used to detect comment spam. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide data on traffic to our website, all personally identifyable data is anonymized. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Traffic PixelThis is used to collect data on traffic to articles and other pages on our site. Unless you are signed in to a HubPages account, all personally identifiable information is anonymized.
    Amazon Web ServicesThis is a cloud services platform that we used to host our service. (Privacy Policy)
    CloudflareThis is a cloud CDN service that we use to efficiently deliver files required for our service to operate such as javascript, cascading style sheets, images, and videos. (Privacy Policy)
    Google Hosted LibrariesJavascript software libraries such as jQuery are loaded at endpoints on the googleapis.com or gstatic.com domains, for performance and efficiency reasons. (Privacy Policy)
    Features
    Google Custom SearchThis is feature allows you to search the site. (Privacy Policy)
    Google MapsSome articles have Google Maps embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    Google ChartsThis is used to display charts and graphs on articles and the author center. (Privacy Policy)
    Google AdSense Host APIThis service allows you to sign up for or associate a Google AdSense account with HubPages, so that you can earn money from ads on your articles. No data is shared unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Google YouTubeSome articles have YouTube videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    VimeoSome articles have Vimeo videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    PaypalThis is used for a registered author who enrolls in the HubPages Earnings program and requests to be paid via PayPal. No data is shared with Paypal unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook LoginYou can use this to streamline signing up for, or signing in to your Hubpages account. No data is shared with Facebook unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    MavenThis supports the Maven widget and search functionality. (Privacy Policy)
    Marketing
    Google AdSenseThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Google DoubleClickGoogle provides ad serving technology and runs an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Index ExchangeThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    SovrnThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook AdsThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Unified Ad MarketplaceThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    AppNexusThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    OpenxThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Rubicon ProjectThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    TripleLiftThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Say MediaWe partner with Say Media to deliver ad campaigns on our sites. (Privacy Policy)
    Remarketing PixelsWe may use remarketing pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to advertise the HubPages Service to people that have visited our sites.
    Conversion Tracking PixelsWe may use conversion tracking pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to identify when an advertisement has successfully resulted in the desired action, such as signing up for the HubPages Service or publishing an article on the HubPages Service.
    Statistics
    Author Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide traffic data and reports to the authors of articles on the HubPages Service. (Privacy Policy)
    ComscoreComScore is a media measurement and analytics company providing marketing data and analytics to enterprises, media and advertising agencies, and publishers. Non-consent will result in ComScore only processing obfuscated personal data. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Tracking PixelSome articles display amazon products as part of the Amazon Affiliate program, this pixel provides traffic statistics for those products (Privacy Policy)