How to be a Bad Boss: Fear Tactics for Discouraging Dumb Questions
Introduction to Fear Tactics in the Workplace
Every office is filled with dumb employees with even dumber questions. Remember, there is no such thing as a stupid question; just stupid people. In this hubpage, you will learn the following useful fear tactics which will surely discourage your employees from wasting your valuable time in the future:
- Yelling - Which phrases can you say to discourage dumb questions?
- Throwing Things - What stationary office supplies are available to chunk?
- Physical Contact - When should you resort to pushing to make your point?
- Be Unapproachable - What tone should your E-mails contain going forward?
Bad Boss: Yelling
Do your employees constantly ask you questions? One way to put an end to annoying workplace questions is to start yelling. It's not just about yelling loud words for no apparent reason. You must attack their intelligence for asking the question in the first place. The point is to make them the center of attention, so that they become embarrassed, and retreat back to their desk. You might yell things like...
- "Why did I hire YOU!?"
- "What's wrong with YOU?"
- "Were you always this stupid?"
- "A monkey could do your job!"
- "Go figure it out YOURSELF!"
- "I'm too BUSY for your dumb question!"
Bad Boss: Throwing Things
If yelling does not work, resort to throwing things at your employee. They will soon get the hint that they are beneath you and their questions mean nothing. This tactic is especially useful when your employee presses the issue by handing you a document. Just fling that document right up into the air above their head and walk away as they scramble to pick it up. No document to chunk? Don't worry! Grab that pencil behind their ear, snap it in half, and flick it at them. Other office stationary things to chunk:
- Paper Clips
- Paper Weight
- A Book
- Paper Balls
Bad Boss: Pushing Employee
If your employee is still standing in your office after this humiliation, you may need to make your point a little clearer by pushing or shoving them out. Make sure that you close the door right after their leg crosses the threshold; even slamming it will enforce your point. All the while, you might be thinking to yourself that you have enough pressures to deal with. In fact, you have pressures from ABOVE, BELOW, and from the SIDES! This should more than justify your behavior.
Don't make the same mistake twice. To keep pesky employees from coming to you with annoying workplace questions, learn to be unapproachable. Keep your office door shut at all times. Do not answer your office phone unless it is your boss. Respond to employee E-mails only if absolutely necessary, but make sure the tone of your response is filled with tyranny, condescendence, and sarcasm. Whenever possible, send E-mails in ALL CAPS or with bolded red text to emphasize your meaning and level of intensity.
A self reflection...
Would you be a great bad boss?
Leadership: It's a Marathon not a Sprint
Do the opposite of the above to be a successful manager! If you are a boss, please know that questions and creativity should be encouraged, not discouraged at your business. Does your staff respect you, or do they fear you? If they fear you, this is a sign that you lack leadership skills to do the job. If you implement fear tactics, you may be known as the bully boss. You can also expect a high employee turnover and employee distrust. Don't be a jerk by lacking empathy for the needs of your staff. Yelling, throwing things, physical contact, and being unapproachable can land you in HR! Instead of telling your workers that you don't have time for their questions, ask them to come back when you do have availability.
Bad Bosses, Crazy Coworkers & Other Office Idiots
Has something similar ever happened to you? Please leave your comments below. How has your boss made you feel afraid to ask questions or share your ideas in the workplace? What are some phrases they said or yelled at you? Has your boss every thrown something at you? What was the object? Have you ever been forced from their office with physical contact? Do you feel that your boss is unapproachable? How did they make you feel this way? Is your boss a bully?