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Social Skills|How to build good social skills

Updated on July 2, 2012

7 Keys Steps to Better Your Social Skills & Achieve Success in your career

The million dollar self-pity question just about every one ask these days is “Why do others seem to have all the luck and not me?” You have a huge crush for the girl next door! You want to have a high paying job! You want to improve your business income! But you seem to have no luck at all. Isn’t it something others have that you don’t? Yes. I say it’s good Social Skills.

Social skill referrers to a person’s ability to relate authentically to others and that the other person(s) returns the favor in kindness. Without good social skills, one can never enter into good and stronger relationships, build a career or business or can be seen as a bad person. With these 7 steps, I will show you how you can improve your skills and improve your life.

1. Mental Preparation

Start by writing down how effectively you want to interact with others. Be it your lover, co-workers or business partner (s). Visualize the outcome of your interaction as being positive and nourishing. If you have been living a gloomy life of negative thoughts and self-pity, brush up now and start visualizing good things that are yet to come.

2. Physical Preparation

Do you have the physical appearance of a person others feel at ease to talk to or do you have the look of a lonely, weary seagull clinging desperately to a sinking log on the sea? People tend to interact easily with those that are presentable in look and attitude. If that’s what’s needed, then that’s what you should have.

Video On How To Improve Your Social Skills

3. Go out and meet others

Get out of your office or house and meet other. Even when your whole being refuses to go out because your mind tells you that you lack the social skills. If you are willing to meet others and talk to them or just spend time with them, there is very high chance that they will return the favor and even like you.


“Practice Makes Perfect”

4. Just Be You

Be yourself from the start as you learn to improve your social skills. Talk like you. Express your feelings and thoughts. Behave genuinely. Why? Because you want others to know your real personality. If you put up a fake behavior, you will never change and improve your social skills


5. Seek Feedback

Ask your friends or family to give feedback on how your personality affects them. They can talk to you or have it written and given to you. Accept the feedback and work to improve areas that are lacking.

6. Learn From Others

There’s a saying that goes like this;

The people you hang around with and the books you read determine who you become”.

So if you want to become a person with good social skills, hang around with the people that posses good social skills. See how they talk and behave. You will eventually become one of them if you spend more time with them.

7. Be Specific On What Social Skills You Want To Develop

Social skills not only refer to going out and meeting people. There are many social skills you have to learn. Learn one at a time. But if you can master the art of interacting with others, all others will fall in place smoothly.


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    • Ian Dabasori Hetr profile image

      Ian D Hetri 5 years ago from Papua New Guinea

      Mabata. Thanks much. Keep looking ahead and you wont be bothered.


    • profile image

      mhvaitai 5 years ago

      You know I was just put off by the very people around me (home) and so I just decided to log in your page just to ease the pressure. But I learnt something though, I take that as a challeng and by reading your advce kept me goin in what I am plannin to do...

      Thnx Ian...and goodnite..

    • Ian Dabasori Hetr profile image

      Ian D Hetri 6 years ago from Papua New Guinea


      Glad you enjoyed it...Cheers

    • Express10 profile image

      H C Palting 6 years ago from East Coast

      I enjoyed this article for the good tips that are easy to put into use.

    • Ian Dabasori Hetr profile image

      Ian D Hetri 6 years ago from Papua New Guinea


      Thanks for visiting my hub and commenting. Appreciate your vote.

    • alocsin profile image

      alocsin 6 years ago from Orange County, CA

      I like these ideas for improving social skills. Voting this Up and Useful.

    • Ian Dabasori Hetr profile image

      Ian D Hetri 6 years ago from Papua New Guinea

      Nicole S

      Thanks so much for dropping by and commenting. After all it would be foolish to pretending to be some one your are not so better be yourself. I agree and appreciate your comment


    • Nicole S profile image

      Nicole S Hanson 6 years ago from Minnesota

      Very interesting points! I agree, 'just be you' is such a strong statement that I think more people need to follow.

    • Ian Dabasori Hetr profile image

      Ian D Hetri 6 years ago from Papua New Guinea

      Thanks justateacher. I appreciate your kind comments.

    • justateacher profile image

      LaDena Campbell 6 years ago from Somewhere Over The Rainbow - Near Oz...

      Very good info. As a special education teacher, I often must teach social skills. Your ideas would work for all ages! Voted up!

    • Ian Dabasori Hetr profile image

      Ian D Hetri 6 years ago from Papua New Guinea

      Thanks ksha001. # 4 suggestion. That's one area many people fail. Some people try to impress others by putting up fake personalities only to find out later that they not only fool themselves but also never learn to improve their social skills.

    • profile image

      ksha001 6 years ago

      Great hub, great advice. I especially liked #4 suggestion!