Job searching and my current struggles!

Usually I like to write articles that affect almost anyone but today I decided to write a personal story that affects me and only few other people in Canada. Although I've known a lot of people on disability I cannot say for sure that these people cannot work an average day to day job. For me, however, it has been a huge if not impossible struggle.

Recently I opened up a website because I was looking to work from home and therefore, be able to create my own schedule which of course would make life easier on me. However, jobs that you do from home can sometimes take forever to bring in revenue, especially if you're not an expert in the subject. So I decided that on the side I was going to try and look for work outside of the home and as I was sure I did get a warehouse job within a day of searching. This is the far most easiest way to start working right away in Canada and most people may not like it but if they have little education and poor English knowledge it is the best way and easiest way to make ends meet. My mother was no exception as when I came to Canada and I was only 7 years old, this was all she was capable of doing and the only jobs she could get right away to put food on the table. However, in my case, I have a long history of mental illness, non-epileptic seizures, and severe lower back pain. Due to this, I have had to quit by the second day of working two different warehouse jobs. I have to admit that for me this is more like a journal I'm writing than a blog because I feel like I'm pouring out not advice but more so my unhappiness and stress due to my illnesses and this feeling of impotence I have. It's as though I feel like a failure because nothing is coming through for me as I had hoped for and I can't express enough how tough it is for me to cope with this right now. I have applied for other types of jobs but I spent so many years accepting my illness and accepting the role of a mother of so many children that I could never think back then that one day I would wish to work again. It's really crazy how you can live with something for so long and be happy just the way you are and then one day you wake up and you realize you just don't want to sit at home anymore despite knowing your limitations. You want to do something and you want to do something you are good at but you just can't find the opportunities.

My husband keeps telling me I should just become a writer and I've always been good with writing but I never sought it throw because my parents never gave me support and in reality I never really knew where I was supposed to go to start writing and what I was supposed to do. I almost wrote a full novel when I was 18 that went unpublished and then later on thrown in the trash because I had no self-confidence. I regret it now because maybe this would have been the beginning of a new life for me. One of self-expression and contentment. Instead I'm having to look for routine jobs outside my home to try and get a little bit of extra income and end up with nothing because either the easier jobs to get are way too hard on me or the ones I have experience with just haven't called me because they see there is a huge gap in the amount of years I've been unemployed. It's especially hard when you go for an interview and when you get there one of the things the employer asks is why you've been out of work for so many years. To me it's unethical to lie to another person that is supposed to trust you to work in their company, but if you do tell them the truth and that you take a multitude of medications daily just to be able to survive each and every day and that you have certain limitations, do these people still wish to give you a chance? Of course not! They say that we live in a free country but honestly the reality is that once you get ill and stuck on disability it is very hard to get off the system. Even the opportunities the disability office offers sometimes goes unheard because your own representative doesn't even take the time to look over your employment supports form and call you back to arrange a job opportunity. So then, it goes on to people like myself being victimized by the strong, energetic working class, for having to pay taxes to pay us, the disabled through the government system. Instead of the big number of Canadian employees throwing the blame for paying taxes that end up for paying disability recipients they should blame the government for not helping the disabled find proper work with those limitations and then we could all save on taxpayers dollars.

Anyways, I wasn't purposefully turning this blog into a political standpoint. However, it's important to note that even though it's hard and it's been a struggle for myself to find work on my own it is not supposed to be difficult as there are employment supports in place that are supposed to be used but again in my case it doesn't seem like anyone has had an interest in helping me. Therefore, here goes my viewpoints on my struggles to find employment in Canada and the link to disability for those outside and even inside of Canada who are not disabled to see what the real deal is and if anyone has any suggestions for me please feel free to comment on my page. Another thing that disabled people face is that we don't have an easy and good life, we basically just survive with the very little the government gives us. Thank!