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Mr. Max Efficiency

Updated on September 25, 2010
Mr. Max Efficiency, rickzimmerman 2010
Mr. Max Efficiency, rickzimmerman 2010

And now, Mr. Max Efficiency shows us how it’s done:

Buzz-cut keeps the scalp cool and aerated, while allowing optimal dandruff-shampoo permeation and follicular action.

Two crisp sheets of fresh white bond — enough for the day’s checklists, yet encouraging of brevity and concision.

Tie and pocket scarf of freshly-pressed recycled bed-ticking (from the mattress underside, for cutaway concealment).

Solar calculator powering up, at the ready and nearest the right (calculator) hand for maximum speed of desired mathematical operations.

Cheek and chin dimples freshly crimped with cosmetic tool each morning.

Suit woven from recycled clippings from last 18 haircuts: inexpensive, all natural fiber, breathable, washable, color-coordinated to buzz-cut, and compatible with personal immune system.

Ebony-black soft-lead pencil, with never-used eraser, sharpened and positioned parallel to calculator and paper for any necessary notational activity.

Cup of coffee — black (naturally), freshly-brewed, organically-grown, shade-planted, fair-trade, water-decaf-process — placed just marginally upwind for beneficial aromatic effect, and a safe distance from note paper and calculator.

Thoroughly (and justifiably) self-satisfied yet noncommittal expression. 

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