The Emotions of Being Laid Off

Being told I was being laid off sent me on an emotional roller coaster I wasn't ready to ride.

Up until the moment I was told I'd have to reapply to stay with the company, I believed my job was secure. I really didn't know if I wanted to start over. They didn't offer any hope of being hired at another location. It felt like all I'd done didn't matter to anyone except me.

First, an overwhelming anger set in. It made no sense that the store was closing. I couldn't believe they didn't or wouldn't find me another location to just start at. None of what was going on made any sense at all.

Being in customer service and having that much anger is awful. I think I scared a few people just looking at them. It wasn't my intention, I just couldn't control my emotions.

Any time any other people still working for the company came into the store, the anger and jealousy were there. They'd be laughing and joking with each other. It was the most frustrating thing because they still had their jobs and I only had weeks left till my job was gone.

Being asked, "how are you doing?" was awful too. How can you respond? Telling them the truth upset them and lying left me unhappy. This was not what was supposed to be happening.

Saying good bye to customers for the last time. The customers said they weren't happy about the store closing and they wanted to get in touch with the corporate office. I don't know if they did, but it wouldn't have mattered, the decision was made. Most said good luck.

Saying good bye to coworkers, even locking the door for the last time was so hard. There were many tears and hopes that we all found new jobs. We exchanged numbers and said we'd keep in touch. I don't think many people get the chance to make friends at work anymore.

Now, I'm in the world of hunting for work. This has changed drastically since I last had to hunt. All the online application stuff has caused more frustration than it's produced results. You think you're filling out an application only to discover when you answer the question of furthering your education, you get sent into a sea of schools calling you. I would like to study in a way that meant something to someone because being self-taught no longer counts. The problem is that the schools don't seem to understand that not being able to start classes without having a way to pay for the school is a problem.

I know what I want, but getting there is the hardest part. I feel like I'm stuck on a treadmill. I walk and walk, but I'm still nowhere. Maybe this is why so many have given up looking.

I'm gonna keep pushing till I can find myself again. I think I'll offer the company a way to not do this to any more people because it's not okay to close a business and offer no hope to the people that have given them their time for so long.