ArtsAutosBooksBusinessEducationEntertainmentFamilyFashionFoodGamesGenderHealthHolidaysHomeHubPagesPersonal FinancePetsPoliticsReligionSportsTechnologyTravel
  • »
  • Business and Employment»
  • Small Businesses & Entrepreneurs

The Mysterious Midget of Amazon.com

Updated on October 3, 2008

Jeff Bezos

The Mysterious Midget of Amazon.com

Everyone knows that in 1994 Jeff Bezos created the Company Amazon.com and launched the company on the internet in 1995, it was 10 years before Amazon actually started to make a profit, and everyone puts this down to the marketing skills of the before mentioned Jeff Bezos, he was even voted person of the year in 1999 by Time Magazine.

Sheer hard work, marketing skills and persistence are said to be the secret of Jeff's success, especially after the Internet bubble burst in the late 1990's,

But Jeff is hiding an even greater secret that is the true key to the Amazon.com success story.

When the dot com bubble burst, Jeff's life was turned upside down, everything that he had worked so hard to achieve was almost in ruins everything he touched would crumble like sand and run through his fingers.

The Mysterious Midget

sorry there is no camera fast enough to catch an image of the mysterious midget, he moves faster than a blink of the eye.
sorry there is no camera fast enough to catch an image of the mysterious midget, he moves faster than a blink of the eye.

The true secret of Jeff's Success

One January Morning in 1994, Jeff wandered down to the basement of his office building in Seattle, Washington, to get a moment of escape from the torture of his daily life, whilst there he thought he saw a figure sitting in the darkened corner watching him, he look again but there was nothing to see, it totally freaked him out, and he went down every day at the same time, just to see if the figure returned, on the fifth day he saw the sitting figure again. this time though the figure did not go away and Jeff slowly and fearfully approached the sitting figure, as he got closer, he realised that the mysterious figure was actually a small man not sitting but standing as tall as his 2 ft 3 inches allowed him, just as Jeff was about to ask him what he was doing here the midget spoke "Jeff I am here to help you" he said.

The Midgets Story

The midget gave Jeff a long spiel about how he had fled from the Amazon jungle five years before, where he had been a powerful medicine man and failed to save the Chief's life when he fell ill. He explained that after the chief died, the tribe wanted to kill him as revenge for not saving their leader.

After detailing his journey how he came to be in America and how he got to be in Seattle, he told Jeff that he saw the Amazon logo on this building and took it as a sign that he was to live there, and that he had been there for five years living in the shadows.

He went on to tell Jeff that since his arrival he had read every single book that had come in to the building in those five years and that he had gained the knowledge from every book that he had read. He then told Jeff to come down to the basement again at midnight, when the moon was full and blue in colour and wearing a purple hat with a red feather protruding from it.

At that the midget disappeared in the blink of an eye.

Blue Moon

Full Blue Moon Wearing a Purple Hat With a Protruding Red Feather

Strangely enough that very same night, the full moon was blue and the small cloud formation above the moon did resemble a purple hat with a protruding red feather.

Jeff headed to the basement, and met up with the Mysterious Midget, the midget then informed Jeff that he was going to give him the knowledge, he had learned in the last five years and that this knowledge would be the key to the future success of Amazon.com.

There was a blinding flash of red light and the pain in Jeffs Head was so severe that he passed out.

When he awoke the Midget was still there, he then told Jeff that whenever he needed help, he would always be there in the shadows for him that he would continue to read and gain knowledge and as he gained in knowledge, from this day, Jeff would also gain the knowledge through him.

In the year 2004 after his first encounter with the midget, Amazon posted its first profitable year and that profit has grown and grown every year since then

If you ever see Jeff in the street or in the store or anywhere at all, try not to blink and you may see the mysterious midget by his side.

The Midget Widget

It is said that you can download your own midget widget from Amazon.com, but only at midnight when there is a full blue moon wearing a purple hat with a protruding red feather, so keep an eye on the night sky it just may be the night your life changes forever.

Jeff Bezos was holding the midget but once again the camera is too slow

Sorry Jeff

If You ever read this, please take it with the humor intended.

This page was inspired by a spelling mistake in the hubpages forums

http://hubpages.com/forum/topic/2567#post15726

Comments

    0 of 8192 characters used
    Post Comment

    • bethperry profile image

      Beth Perry 3 years ago from Tennesee

      LOL! Love this story!

    • vocalcoach profile image

      Audrey Hunt 3 years ago from Nashville Tn.

      I just love little men :)

    • Jools99 profile image

      Jools99 5 years ago from North-East UK

      Jimmy, loved it! Wish I had a wee man living in my basement inspiring me to wealth beyond my wildest dreams :o)

    • Sunshine625 profile image

      Linda Bilyeu 5 years ago from Orlando, FL

      Hahahaha well done Jimmy!!! I'll be sure and download my midget widget at the correct moment!!:)

    • JayeWisdom profile image

      Jaye Denman 5 years ago from Deep South, USA

      You've quite an imagination there, Jimmy, to gain inspiration for a humorous short story from a spelling mistake or typo....

      Jeff Bezos will probably incorporate your story into his bio, now! It's a more interesting slant than just working hard, being persistent and having marketing skills.

    • Marcy Goodfleisch profile image

      Marcy Goodfleisch 5 years ago from Planet Earth

      Are you sure the midget's name wasn't Rumplestiltskins? You sure spun a golden yarn here! Voted up and funny! And shared!

    • Pamela99 profile image

      Pamela Oglesby 6 years ago from United States

      I love this story - absolutely hysterical!

    • De Greek profile image

      De Greek 7 years ago from UK

      I have been pointed in your direction by one of your admirers (Zsuzsy) and I am now a confirmed fan.. :-)

    • jimmythejock profile image
      Author

      James Paterson 7 years ago from Scotland

      LOL Jai, i dont know which is funnier your comment or my hub, the best tip that I can give you for selling on amazon through your hubs are to hand pick the products from the amazon website that are relevant to your article, hope that helps.....jimmy

    • Jai Warren profile image

      Jai Warren 7 years ago from Dallas, Deep Ellum, Texas

      Hi Jimmy, I'm the midget from Seattle, loved your Hub about Jeff and me. Joined HubPages to share my knowledge with everyone, not just Jeff. But, darn it, I still can't seem to sell anything on Amazon. Any tips?

    • jimmythejock profile image
      Author

      James Paterson 7 years ago from Scotland

      Thanks Dale for your comment and of course for the back link, I loved writing this hub and I was laughing as I wrote it, I am honoured to be mentioned in your blog.

      thanks again.....jimmy

    • Dale Mazurek profile image

      Dale Mazurek 7 years ago from Canada

      Funny as funny can be.

      A writer with a great sense of humor, does it really get any better?

      Your hub was reccommended for my blog and Im glad it was. It is now up on the blog.

      You can find the link to the blog on my profile page

      Cheers

      Dale

    • wannabwestern profile image

      Carolyn Augustine 8 years ago from The Land of Tractors

      Oh, I don't have a sense of humor, but that one almost cracked my shell.

      :) That was very funny.

    • Teresa McGurk profile image

      Sheila 8 years ago from The Other Bangor

      you are a loony, ya know that? I love your sense of humor, and so would Bezos, I'm willing to bet.

    • jamestedmondson profile image

      jamestedmondson 9 years ago from San Francisco

      Dang, that's a fast midget.

      I had a similar experience, but the midget just told me to quit my job and start doing drugs.

    • jimmythejock profile image
      Author

      James Paterson 9 years ago from Scotland

      thanks everyone, i still get a laugh when i read this one.....jimmy

    • Garry Nelson profile image

      Garry Nelson 9 years ago from Hawaii

      Funny

    • Rudra profile image

      Rudra 9 years ago

      Looks like publicity stunts for them. Is it working?

    • profile image

      tagtopics 9 years ago

      I just hope amazon are reading this - midgets : buy one get one free!

    • Patty Inglish, MS profile image

      Patty Inglish 9 years ago from North America

      Great discussion thread and wonderful hub.

      I must say that a friend lived in an old house and saw a short man wearing a purple hat with a red feather, walking through the rooms and then the walls for 3 years until she moved elsewhere. She said he was a friendly spirit. :)

    • websurfpro profile image

      websurfpro 9 years ago

      Hehe I`ll be looking forward to find that midget on Amazon :D has Jeff ever told this story or did you make it up ? Nice hub

    • LdsNana-AskMormon profile image

      Kathryn Skaggs 9 years ago from Southern California

      Jimmy-

      I adore a witty mind!

      tDMg

      LdsNana-AskMormon

    • Mystic Biscuit profile image

      Mystic Biscuit 9 years ago from Phoenix, AZ

      Too fun!!! :-)

    • Hovalis profile image

      Hovalis 9 years ago from Australia

      Hee! I needed that laugn. :-)

    • Misha profile image

      Misha 9 years ago from DC Area

      Bva-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha. Thanks Jimmy!

    • robie2 profile image

      Roberta Kyle 9 years ago from Central New Jersey

      Can't wait for the next full moon--rotfl !!

    • Inspirepub profile image

      Inspirepub 9 years ago from Sydney, Australia

      This is so creative! I love the photo caption!

      Jenny

    • jimmythejock profile image
      Author

      James Paterson 9 years ago from Scotland

      thanks guys for your great comments, lol when i saw the forum thread, There was no way that i could pass up the oppertunity to write a hub based on the infamous Midget.......jimmy

    • Prosperityman profile image

      Prosperityman 9 years ago from mayaguez, Puerto Rico

      Ja,ja,ja muy entretenido! Te felicito.

    • chabrenas profile image

      chabrenas 9 years ago from middle of France

      Bloody brilliant!

    • bloggerdollar profile image

      bloggerdollar 9 years ago

      This Hub is total scam. How to upload the Amazon Midget still not explained :)

    • profile image

      IĆ°unn 9 years ago

      hahaha, too funny jimmy. amazon midgets are the new iambic pentameter. :)

    • Kenny Wordsmith profile image

      Ashok Rajagopalan 9 years ago from Chennai

      Why do you guys laugh? This is serious business, and I'm going to ask them for one!

      Midget route to Giant Success!

      Thanks for that poem in the forums and this hub, Jimmy!

    • kpfingaz profile image

      kpfingaz 9 years ago from ~~~

      Hahaha.Yeah man this is really funny.

    • stephhicks68 profile image

      Stephanie Hicks 9 years ago from Bend, Oregon

      I am hysterically laughing. LOL and ROFL do not begin to describe.....

    • Stacie Naczelnik profile image

      Stacie Naczelnik 9 years ago from Seattle

      You are waaaaay toooo silly.

    • Marye Audet profile image

      Marye Audet 9 years ago from Lancaster, Texas

      This needs a tea spew alert posted at the top.

    • darkside profile image

      Glen 9 years ago from Australia

      I've been giggling like an idiot reading this.

    • Zsuzsy Bee profile image

      Zsuzsy Bee 9 years ago from Ontario/Canada

      Jimmy! If anyone could see me they would prepare the padded room. I'm sitting here by myself laughing my fool head off.

      There many hubs here that are great but everyonce in a while there comes a gem....regards Zsuzsy

    • Marisa Wright profile image

      Marisa Wright 9 years ago from Sydney

      Sorry I can't write a coherent comment - too busy laughing!