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The Politically Incorrect Guide to Making Money on HubPages

Updated on May 14, 2013

The Politically Incorrect Guide to Making Money on HubPages

Herein we peel back the layers of political correctness to expose the brass tacks of turning a profit on HubPages.

Children under 14 may want to look away now. We are going to Keep It Real.

Serious Writers who value their craft should find something else to do. If you agonize over every word, if you double-check your verb tenses, if you know what a gerund is, please surf away now. Point your browser at SeriousWriters.com; do not continue reading here.

Only 3 Things Matter

According to The Politically Incorrect Guide to Making Money on HubPages, only three issues have any significance whatsoever.

I'm going to tell you what the three issues are, rather than forcing you to read this entire hub to dig for them. If you want details, please read on. Otherwise, go forth and apply the knowledge you have gained.

1. Get your hub indexed by Google

2. Pick appropriate keywords

3. Get people to click on the ads that appear on your hub.

Note: nowhere in this agonizingly simple list is any mention of writing good. Serious Writers, this is your last chance to bail out. You've been warned.

1. Get your hub indexed by Google

Google provides the majority of search results around the world. If your hub is ignored by Google, you've shot yourself in the digital foot.

Indexing is the process wherein Google computers read your hub, analyzes it, and adds it to their database of web pages. If your hub isn't indexed, Google will never include it in any search results.

Google indexing should take place automagically shortly after you publish a hub. Google knows about HubPages already. You don't have to do anything. However, some hubs may take weeks to get indexed and some worthy compositions may never be indexed. It's a mystery as to how Google separates the wheat from the chaff. Sometimes hubs get indexed, then de-indexed, then indexed again...


Watch out for the insipid NOINDEX tag imposed by HubPages if they don't like your composition.

2. Pick appropriate keywords

We all know of the Google AdWords Keyword Tool: https://adwords.google.com/select/KeywordToolExternal. If you can't decipher it, go watch TV instead of writing any more hubs. Your time you are wasting.

Learn the tool, live the tool, be the tool.

Well, HubPages won't let you pick keywords any more, so scratch this rule on HubPages.

3. Get people to click on the ads that appear on your hub.

After mastering steps 1 and 2, light a candle to Step 3. Google and HubPages prohibit you from actually encouraging your reader to click on your ads. In the words of Sheriff Buford T. Justice, "You can think about it, but don't do it." Sheriff Justice went on to explain how Google will shut down your AdSense account quicker than Valerie Bertinelli at a free doughnut bar, but only the Director's Cut of Smokey and the Bandit II included that scene.

You get paid when an ad gets clicked.

Tolstoy could publish a War and Peace hub and still go broke if no one clicked on his ads.

To some extent you're at the mercy of Google; they decide what ads your hubs will host. You can filter out an advertiser now and then by configuring your AdSense account properly. Some Hubbers feel a slight animosity toward Scientology ads while other hubbers are happy to have ads for christian colleges on their atheist hubs.

Write whatever you want

We know it's politically incorrect, but you can write whatever you want. Use bad grammar. Incomplete sentences. Apply abstruse pop culture references that would only be funny to shoe cobblers in Malta on the Fourth of July.

Pretty writing won't make you money. Google can't detect pretty writing.

Only The Three Rules will make you money.

Don't Ignore Any of the Rules

Don't neglect any of the Three Rules. You may find yourself with the inherent ability to dominate Rule 1. You may find yourself manipulating Rule 2 like a Ninja Keyword Master. You may find yourself behind the wheel of a large automobile, but David Byrne never made any money on HubPages. Neglect rule 3 at your peril.

Good Writers are People Too

We need accomplished writers to make our money-grubbing hubs look good. The symbiotic relationship between junior Hemmingways and AdSense trollops is well documented. Google probably like us all better when some of us use big words and literary references. However, a hub about the Top 10 Gas Grills for 2011 will probably monetize more effectively than 1000 words on institutional racism in 17th century France.

I make money on HubPages and I don't care who knows

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    • lifelovemystery profile image

      Michelle Orelup 5 years ago from Houston, TX

      Thanks for the tips and the humour!

    • SEXYLADYDEE profile image

      SEXYLADYDEE 5 years ago from Upstate NY

      No I am not discouraged I just feel better informed. Thanks for taking the time to put it out there. What we do with it is up to us.

      D

    • profile image

      Lesleysherwood 5 years ago

      Another brilliant hub with loads of good advice. I am always checking my hubs on the page ranking site. I have put a link to this hub from my blog. Thank you I was just leaving and I saw 'another 69 comments'. Wow, I am not alone in liking your hub account.

    • callisto123 profile image

      callisto123 6 years ago

      "Google knows about HubPages already. You don't have to do anything..."

      Since pages are index automatically, writers have no control over step 1.

      "...prohibit you from actually encouraging your reader to click on your ads..."

      "...you're at the mercy of Google; they decide what ads your hubs will host..."

      You can't ask readers to click ads, and you can't specify which ads will appear, so the writer has no control over getting readers to click ads, step 3.

      So yes, they are out of the writers control, and my comment still stands true.

    • nicomp profile image
      Author

      nicomp really 6 years ago from Ohio, USA

      @callisto123: They aren't and so they do.

    • callisto123 profile image

      callisto123 6 years ago

      Steps 1 and 3 are completely out of the writers control, so I don't really think they have a place in a guide like this, do they?

    • Charles James profile image

      Charles James 6 years ago from Yorkshire, UK

      LeonJane said

      "I hold a hope that one day creative writing will prevail over product review".

      There is every chance that a piece of literature that reflects the human condition will be read in 50 years time, when reviews of the toasters available in 2010 are not read. But the review of toasters will earn more!

    • Research Analyst profile image

      Research Analyst 6 years ago

      "Find a hungry crowd and feed them", good advice.

    • msms profile image

      msms 7 years ago

      "Learn the tool, live the tool, be the tool." Good one ... to be a tool Yes to earn here you need to be more of a tool than writer. Great Hub Dear, I loved it.

    • Barbara Kay profile image

      Barbara Badder 7 years ago from USA

      This hub kept me interested due to your writing skills. Google's ups and downs can become a mystery at times though.

    • lorlie6 profile image

      Laurel Rogers 7 years ago from Bishop, Ca

      I AM a tool, so what's next?

    • tonymac04 profile image

      Tony McGregor 7 years ago from South Africa

      Nice one! Pity about your Googler rating, though. Thanks for the tips.

      Love and peace

      Tony

    • nicomp profile image
      Author

      nicomp really 7 years ago from Ohio, USA

      FYI: This hub is not in the Google index today. I don't know why. Tomorrow it may be back. It may never come back.

      Recently this hub was in the top 10 for several keywords. I checked it just now; today there are none. It's a puzzlement.

    • mulberry1 profile image

      mulberry1 7 years ago

      All so true. You can write great stuff but if you don't also follow the rules you mentioned, it will be a long and unprofitable road.

    • Dale Nelson profile image

      Dale Nelson 7 years ago from South Africa

      "automagically"

      thats brilliank

    • nicomp profile image
      Author

      nicomp really 7 years ago from Ohio, USA

      @excribo: yep!

    • excribo profile image

      Jay Pascual 7 years ago from Philippines

      Very true indeed! Although a bit of good writing may help too.

    • Springboard profile image

      Springboard 7 years ago from Wisconsin

      Can't there be a balance between writing well and earning well? Hmm. Now I'm at a crossroads.

    • Cathleena profile image

      Cathleena 7 years ago from USA

      Your hub is humorous and fun. I'm following you now and enjoying your hubs! You have an entertaining written voice. :o)

    • wsp2469 profile image

      wsp2469 7 years ago from Alta Loma, Ca

      There's a lot of truth in what you say, for sure.

    • nicomp profile image
      Author

      nicomp really 7 years ago from Ohio, USA

      scheng1, thank you for this comment:

      "That's true. Many outstanding writers without seo knowledge can survive by writing offline but not online."

    • nicomp profile image
      Author

      nicomp really 7 years ago from Ohio, USA

      @Shirley Anderson: Umm... no. :)

    • Shirley Anderson profile image

      Shirley Anderson 7 years ago from Ontario, Canada

      Wait, you're one of those serious writers, aren't you? Love the wit and metaphor in this hub, I chuckled aloud a couple of times.

      I'll keep your tips in mind.

    • radjfreak327 profile image

      radjfreak327 7 years ago from USA/Costa Rica

      Okay,this is great. But for an absolute dummy like me, could you explain those steps in more detail? I'm way too new and need help.

    • Truth From Truth profile image

      Truth From Truth 7 years ago from Michigan

      good hub, great information.

    • lsfloro profile image

      lsfloro 7 years ago

      This is the hub I've been looking for.

    • swenneberg profile image

      swenneberg 7 years ago

      This is very bluntly put. Thank you for the insight!

    • OregonWino profile image

      OregonWino 7 years ago

      Hi-Flipping-larious!!!!

    • itcoll profile image

      itcoll 7 years ago

      very nice information here.

    • EllenGraeger profile image

      EllenGraeger 7 years ago from Madrid

      A hub ever so frank and useful indeed. Thank you.

    • jtrader profile image

      jtrader 7 years ago

      Junior Hemmingways and Adsense trollops! Oh no you didn't! Lol

    • Hussains profile image

      Hussains 7 years ago from Olympia, WA

      I like the way you have explained it. Very funny and useful. Thanks for sharing.

    • 4everfitness profile image

      4everfitness 7 years ago

      Clever hub. I have a few articles indexed by Google, so I guess I should be glad.Not rich yet, but hope helps.Thanks for your hub.

      http://www,foreverfitness.info

    • Albertttt profile image

      Albertttt 7 years ago

      I learned a lot. Thanks.

    • torimari profile image

      torimari 7 years ago from Pennsylvania

      Haha, this is so great and true...sadly. Yea, I'm one of those serious writers considering the amount of hubs I have and how much I revise them but sometimes I need to read some simple, honest advice like this. Not to say people making moola here (unlike moi) aren't serious writers...they just are more prolific and savvy in this money game than me. Great hub!

    • nicomp profile image
      Author

      nicomp really 7 years ago from Ohio, USA

      @Dabbler: This information I cannot divulge, lest I find my AdSense account forfeit.

    • Dabbler profile image

      Dabbler 7 years ago from Los Angeles, CA

      Would love to know how you can actually get people to click on your ads! ha, ha, people just seem to like to read the content.

    • profile image

      TattoGuy 7 years ago

      I had to read this hub again, well I change ids so quickly ok but am deff bookmarking this ! Good horse ; )

    • Tyler Deardon profile image

      Tyler Deardon 7 years ago

      Bum Marketer in my opinion, Fake it until you make it I guess.

    • J Burgraff profile image

      J Burgraff 7 years ago

      Thanks for your hub. A reminder that I really like to write and since I've only made $.39 so far, that's probably really a good thang.

    • nicomp profile image
      Author

      nicomp really 7 years ago from Ohio, USA

      @Pollyannalana: Hey, I'm just the messenger. The rules make perfect sense to me, but I didn't make them. :)

    • Pollyannalana profile image

      Pollyannalana 7 years ago from US

      Sure you know what you are talking about but seems a shame, I am certainly going in the wrong direction. A real shame, I read some good hubs here but notice so many I suppose going by your rules, wondering why they bothered. Live and learn, but thanks for the info.

    • fishtiger58 profile image

      fishtiger58 7 years ago from Momence, Illinois

      Love the humor, great hub will take your advise under advisement.

    • hypnodude profile image

      Andrea 7 years ago from Italy

      I'm a complete beginner so hubs like this for me are pretty needed to know the rules of the game. Actually I find quite hard to understand why Google wants you to have ads but doesn't want you to talk about them. At the end clicking ads is good for everyone, even for the one who pays who gets traffic. Nice hub, right to the core hot stuff.

    • nicomp profile image
      Author

      nicomp really 7 years ago from Ohio, USA

      @Paraglider: caffeine?

    • ecogirl333 profile image

      ecogirl333 7 years ago

      Great hub but what about the random adwords tool that sometimes simply lies lies lies? Gutting to build something, rank great then find no-one really searches for those keywords at all!

      That's why I try to pick things people want to buy that I can also enjoy writing about. Well, mostly anyway - sometimes the lure of easy cash really does bring out the whore in us all!

    • Paraglider profile image

      Dave McClure 7 years ago from Kyle, Scotland

      But you don't explain how to stick with the Adwords tool for more than two minutes without falling asleep from boredom!

    • Lisa HW profile image

      Lisa HW 7 years ago from Massachusetts

      Very funny. :) Tolstoy would have been a HubPages "loser", and J.D. Salinger would never have been approved by Google.

    • garethp1 profile image

      garethp1 7 years ago

      "digital foot" really good! Great hub, I've struggled with Hubpages so far.

    • profile image

      Best CD Rates 7 years ago

      I agree with your points completely. Good content and appropriate keywords are too important. Being indexed is also easy; however, real effort comes when you have to make people click on the ads. This is quite tricky task. Thanks for this informative article.

    • princess g profile image

      princess g 7 years ago

      lol...you're funny. I love it.

    • missmarsh profile image

      Loralie Lyndon 7 years ago from USA

      Amusing, but informative hub! Thanks for sharing.

    • carolina muscle profile image

      carolina muscle 7 years ago from Charlotte, North Carolina

      I enjoyed this post. Great hub!

    • nicomp profile image
      Author

      nicomp really 7 years ago from Ohio, USA

      @William R. Wilson: We Libertarians have a big tent.

    • William R. Wilson profile image

      William R. Wilson 7 years ago from Knoxville, TN

      :)

      I think you might be the kind of guy I could enjoy having a beer with as long as we didn't talk politics. Best.

    • nicomp profile image
      Author

      nicomp really 7 years ago from Ohio, USA

      @William R. Wilson: Sorry! I missed it.

    • William R. Wilson profile image

      William R. Wilson 7 years ago from Knoxville, TN

      Yes. And I'm not arguing with you. I'm giving you a sideways compliment.

      Google "sense of humor".

    • nicomp profile image
      Author

      nicomp really 7 years ago from Ohio, USA

      @William R. Wilson: Have you read your HubPages profile?

      "I don't argue with crazy people or people who insult me personally. But I love a good conversation, whether I agree with the other person or not."

    • mercon profile image

      mercon 7 years ago

      nice info... i'll try it...

    • William R. Wilson profile image

      William R. Wilson 7 years ago from Knoxville, TN

      Nicomp - you are an ignorant ass sometimes but you are a good writer. I enjoyed reading this.

    • nicomp profile image
      Author

      nicomp really 7 years ago from Ohio, USA

      @Portamenteff: well said. Those of us who can't spel Hemmingway enjoy a symbyotec relationship with you all who can.

    • Portamenteff profile image

      Portamenteff 7 years ago from Western Colorado, USA

      Then again there are those of us who just want to write. I think I made 30 cents last month from Google Adds. I'm still going to write the same exact way. I'm glad some people are making money here. Commerce somehow validates a vehicle for information. The Internet was not taken serriously until the establishment saw the "gen-Xers" that run Google and Myspace driving cars usually driven by wall street fat cats.

      I'm saying we are real writers, all of us. Some of us want to be Hemmingways, some want to be the "Halequinne Rommance" writers of the blogospere just trying to cash in, but the ones who do cash in, validate the ones who are artisans. The artisans give respectability to the "Pulp Fiction" writers (no intended reference to Tarantino.)

    • Singular Investor profile image

      Singular Investor 7 years ago from Oxford

      That about sums it up nicomp - except I would like to know which are the keywords that really pay the most - can you shed any light on that ?

    • nicomp profile image
      Author

      nicomp really 7 years ago from Ohio, USA

      Did anyone else get spammed by dovekelly?

      "hi all kind of jobs at {redacted} please check it "

    • nicomp profile image
      Author

      nicomp really 7 years ago from Ohio, USA

      @Drew Breezzy: Sorry! Please try this:

      https://hubpages.com/business/Make-Money-Online-Se...

    • Drew Breezzy profile image

      Drew Breezzy 7 years ago from somewhere in my mind

      I was expecting more humor here :/

      Oh well good hubs for noobs.

    • Miss Markayla profile image

      Miss Markayla 7 years ago from Indiana

      You did this well...and right to the point. Love it.

    • nicomp profile image
      Author

      nicomp really 7 years ago from Ohio, USA

      @Niteriter: Hate on me 'til the cows come home, just please hub about it.

      Please!

    • profile image

      C.J. Wright 7 years ago

      Best explanation I've read so far. Thanks for writing this.

    • Niteriter profile image

      Niteriter 7 years ago from Canada

      Nicomp, you're a horse's arse! ...no wait, that's a horse's HEAD! Sorry. Anyway, I'm really mad at you because you've gone and taken all the fun out of everything. What can I do now to justify taking time away from my real life duties to come here and horse around (ha ha) with you? (Hey, I just got a new Hub idea... Why I Hate Nicomp.)

    • Ben Zoltak profile image

      Ben Zoltak 7 years ago from Lake Mills, Jefferson County, Wisconsin USA

      Just great! I enjoyed the irony of listening to you preach about the un-necessity of quality writing and grammar, all the while spinning an article with threads of verbose gold! "The symbiotic relationship between junior Hemmingways and AdSense trollops is well documented."

      Well done Nicomp! Also like how you boiled things down. I'm going to link your article to a similar one of mine, it's my way of bookmarking your page and pointing my readers to more quality stuff, hope you don't mind! I'll put the link to yours at the bottom of mine titled:

      How To Write A High Traffic Hub Or Blog: Start With The Library, Science Or Iowa

      https://hubpages.com/community/How-To-Write-A-High...

    • psychicdog.net profile image

      psychicdog.net 7 years ago

      Writing has become chewing gum for the brain so wouldn't you'd be better off doing videos than writing? Thought provoking hub. Thanks Nicomp!

    • successfulblogger profile image

      successfulblogger 7 years ago from Los Angeles,Ca

      This was a fun hub.

    • nicomp profile image
      Author

      nicomp really 7 years ago from Ohio, USA

      @LeonJane: Keep plugging. Put those used words to good use:

      https://hubpages.com/business/Make-Money-Online-Se...

      I'm no good at the literary stuff so I stick to toasters!

    • LeonJane profile image

      LeonJane 7 years ago from Australia

      I am "catching what you're pitching" in this hub, but I hold a hope that one day creative writing will prevail over product reviews. I have a dream that if you keep writing creative hubs, maybe a couple of chapters to a novel that you have written, and you have enough fans who like your work, then you may sell your books through lulu/amazon? It's a long, slow journey though and maybe a huge dream.

      It's sad that if you publish hubs on "sexy Indian Bollywood actresses" or post hubs on "how to make a million dollars on hubpages with little effort" then you seem to get a lot of traffic. These hubs hold little creative or useful information, but they do make money on impulse clicks.

      Your information on the 3 most important things is invaluable, and for me I'll mix it up in the future, creative writing hubs (what I enjoy) alongside toaster reviews (what I consider laborious)!

    • nicomp profile image
      Author

      nicomp really 7 years ago from Ohio, USA

      @Crazy888: No offense taken. I respect your choice. Thank you for your comments.

    • Crazy888 profile image

      Crazy888 7 years ago

      no offence...but i dont do hubpages for the money..i do it for the fun. read y hubs and you will see i have NO ADS!

    • Lifes Joke profile image

      Lifes Joke 7 years ago

      *funny as hell* but informative

    • nicomp profile image
      Author

      nicomp really 7 years ago from Ohio, USA

      @socit2009: Please resubmit your comment without the external link.

      Thanks!

    • Aya Katz profile image

      Aya Katz 7 years ago from The Ozarks

      Nicomp, good to know!

    • nicomp profile image
      Author

      nicomp really 7 years ago from Ohio, USA

      @create a page: Thank you for your complements!

    • nicomp profile image
      Author

      nicomp really 7 years ago from Ohio, USA

      @cally2: think of it as marketing yourself. That sounds much more palatable.

    • create a page profile image

      create a page 7 years ago from Maryland, USA

      Thanks for this very practical approach to making money on hubpages. I think you are right. There are so many hubs circulating on how to get an income here, but it actually boils down to the three points that you mentioned. People read hubs which have good content, but those readers do not pay the hubbers unless they purchase something advertised or at least click on the ads. This is a great hub.

    • cally2 profile image

      Paul Callaghan 7 years ago from Paraparaumu, New Zealand

      Oh you mean I won't get money just coz' my mum says I'm smart? I have to whore my art? I get it now.

    • profile image

      townart 7 years ago

      nicomp, you actually made me laugh twice reading this post:

      "Learn the tool, live the tool, be the tool." (chuckle) and,

      "Rule 1. You may find yourself manipulating Rule 2 like a Ninja Keyword Master. You may find yourself behind the wheel of a large automobile, but David Byrne never made any money on HubPages." (Hah!)

      Cool hub.

    • SweetiePie profile image

      SweetiePie 7 years ago from Southern California, USA

      I never met a shoe cobbler from Malta, but once I met this really weird guy on the bus who was trying to tell me he was the prince of Malta. I enjoyed this very humorous take on hubbing :).

    • sabrebIade profile image

      sabrebIade 7 years ago from Pennsylvania

      "automagically"...I LOVE That!

    • The Old Firm profile image

      The Old Firm 7 years ago from Waikato/Bay Of Plenty, New Zealand

      Gerund - a large denomination note of South African currency. And I get very tense when adding verbs, although I have a parsable verb garden.

    • nicomp profile image
      Author

      nicomp really 7 years ago from Ohio, USA

      @CMHypno: Work or fun? Who has fun at work? Not many of us. ;)

      Writing for fun is fun. Make toasters fun, or make fun of toasters. The Three Rules will self-align when you least expect it.

    • CMHypno profile image

      CMHypno 7 years ago from Other Side of the Sun

      Is it work or is it fun? Top 10 Gas Grills = work + money, but not fun writing (unless you really like Gas Grills).

      Probably why I don't make much money - I keep writing for fun. Electric toasters for the spring season here I come!