Things Overheard in a Men's Underwear Factory Somewhere Way Down South
(NOTE: Do not judge this piece by the photos. Although this hub is about men’s briefs (underwear), the photos have been severely-scrutinized and edited so this hub can be seen and read by your children. And thank you so much, followers and non-followers, for reading my materials. Kenneth).
Time was, men wore “long handles,” underneath their outer-clothing so they could be dressed appropriately for being seen in public. As time crawled on, the “long handle” designers set to upgrading and came up with a more-comfortable men’s underwear called “skivvies.” Later on “down the road of life,” “skivvies,” evolved to “briefs,” “trunks,” “briefs,” and “boxer briefs,” so to sum it up, as men changed, so did their underwear (no pun intended).
Before I go any further, let me say to the guys who follow me: I know that you might have preferred a story about women’s lingerie, and honestly, so would I, but I am not about to let the HubPages editors and the AdSense people who monitor our stories “flag” my story and have me to redo it. Anyway, if I did write about women’s undergarments, I would be way too embarrassed and a story of such sensitivity should be written by a female writer—because a female writer can understand more about women and their underwear than a man writer.
Why should "I" wear underwear?
I have sometimes wondered why “I” was taught from youth, to always wear underwear. My rebellious-question would be, “Why, dad? No one is going to walk up to me and want to see my underwear, and besides, if I do not wear underwear, that is less laundry that mom will have to do.” Good argument, but not good enough to get me out of the traditional task of wearing underwear.
In my older years I learned that there were sensible reasons why men should wear underwear:
Underwear hides a man’s “privates” as so he can work and live in the public without causing controversy.
Underwear gives validity to the old adage, “If you get in an accident, says a concerned mom. “your underwear should be clean to show people that you are a decent man.” That does make sense. But honestly I have never heard any observer who was present after a car wreck say, “That poor ‘Fred.’ Did you see those filthy briefs that he had on? And he was once a decent guy.”
Let’s go back to the beginning of men’s underwear. No, not the fig leaves that Adam used to cover himself after he and his mate, Eve, partook of the forbidden fruit, but to a factory where men’s underwear are manufactured and take time to read and understand . . .
Briefs, in brief
Briefs are a type of short, tight underwear and swimwear, as opposed to styles where the material extends down the legs.
A main difference between male briefs and female briefs is that male briefs are often designed with a large pouch in the front center area to accommodate his private area. This is because men and boys have larger external genitals in comparison to women or girls, thus requiring more fabric in the crotch area.
Briefs were first sold on January 19, 1935 by Coopers, Inc., in Chicago, Illinois. They dubbed the new undergarment the "Jockey" because it offered a similar degree of support as the jockstrap (one style of which is also called jock brief or support briefs). Thirty thousand pairs were sold within three months of their introduction. In North America, "Jockey shorts" or "Jockeys" was an often used generic term for men's briefs. More recently, "tighty-whiteys" has become a commonly used nickname for briefs.
In Britain, the term "jockeys" has not caught on and briefs are often referred to as "Y-fronts". The term derives from the genericized trademark "Y-Front", property of Jockey International. It in turn derives from the inverted Y-shape formed by the seams at the front of the underpants. The colloquialism is used even when the fly opening may differ in style, and not actually form the shape of the inverted letter "Y" fly on Coopers Jockey brand briefs.
In Australia, briefs are referred to as "jocks" but should not be confused with jockstraps (more specifically used by athletes) which expose the buttocks. Australians generally use the word briefs to refer to the bikini-style underwear for men, which do not have the Y-front opening.
Since the ending of the 20th century, a hybrid called boxer briefs has become popular. Like boxers, they have short legs, but like briefs, they are made of elastic, snug-fitting material. A shorter version of boxers.
Things Overheard in a Man’s Underwear Factory Somewhere Way Down South
(somewhere on the assembly line)
- “Hey, ‘Bubba Jim!” These don’t look like men’s underwear. These look like women’s panties!”
- “What red-blooded man would be seen by his wife or girlfriend in pink underwear?”
- “Hey, ‘Jimmy Joe,’ this stuff in these underwear are so silky, I could them for a parachute.”
- “Polka dot briefs? One more box of these and I am quittin’ this Mickey Mouse job.”
- “I agree, ‘Leonard Nedd. I have seen these funky underwear so much that I only wear underwear on Sundays to go to church.”
- “These underwear’s so tight that they could cause a man to have high blood pressure. What’s this plant trying to do, kill men?”
- “My dog, ‘Buster,’ wouldn’t put a pair of this garbage on his hairy butt.”
- “Hey, ‘Larry Sam,’ if me and the wife were having a romantic night and I pulled my overalls off and she were to see me in these slick briefs, she would laugh her butt off.”
- “’Billy Ben,’ tell ya’ what. After work, let’s take a few pair of these stretchy underwear, tie them together and make us a vine to swing on in the woods just like that Tarzan fella.”
- “What the heck is a ‘banana hammock?” What? I have to put this tiny strang up my anus?”
- “Ahhh, for the good old days when we men loved our long handles.”
- “Amen, ‘Timmy Joe,’ the long handles were a pain to open if you needed to have a ‘sit down’ in the John, but how warm they kept us in this air conditioned plant.”
- “Hey, ‘Rocky Roy,’ did yew see the sign in the break room? It said: “All male employees must wear underwear while on the job. If you do not adhere to this notice, you will be fired.” “Rock, now who will do the inspecting?”
- “Hey, I can wrap these things up and give them to my wife for her birthday.”
- “’Billy Bill,’ are you going to see about the new job they posted on the bulletin board? The job of being a men’s underwear model and appear with other men modeling our newest briefs in a fashion show in the Town Hall?”
- “Now, ‘Billy Bill,’ why on earth would you want me to go to Hades?”
Coming very soon . . . “A Sensitive Look at Juan Valdez.”
(NOTE: no fictitious men were harmed in the writing of this story. And any resemblance to any man living or dead with the names in this hub is purely coincidental and no embarrassment was intended. –Kenneth. P.S. this piece is strictly meant for comedy purposes and not to put men of the south in an embarrassing light. Heck, I am from the south--born and bred and I wasn't upset. In fact, I enjoyed this piece.