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Why Do You Want To Work Here?
Why Do You Want To Work Here?
The Job Interview
Opportunity for advancement
401k, medical, dental
Apply today!
I set up an interview for 8:00 am. I donned my best suit which I usually
reserve for funerals, and set out, resume' in hand. I was warmly greeted by an attractive brunette who handed me an
application and resumed her cell phone conversation with the girl in Human
Resources in the next office. I could hear them talking to each other in stereo
from my seat.
Finally, I was called into the
office. After exchanging half-hearted pleasantries and handshakes, I was told
to have a seat while my prospective new employer perused my application and
resume'. “So tell me...why do you want to work here?" I could feel
my blood pressure rising as I felt obligated to answer this particularly stupid
and mundane question.
"What gives you the idea
that I want to work here? What makes you so sure that I want to work at all?
And you want me to do what!? I don't want to work here. I especially don't want
to work here for the pittance that you're so boldly offering for my services.
If I didn't need to eat, I wouldn't waste my valuable time talking to you. I
could find better things to do like looking for other worthwhile ventures and
opportunities where I can put my talent and imagination to good use!"
"After ninety days, your
benefits will become active. You'll get a 10% raise after a year of
service." By then, the cost of living will have gone up 30%. I hope my
benefits will cover the cost of anti-depressants.
“I'll work till I bleed; I’ll
be exposed to dangerous conditions, chemicals, and faulty equipment, and you'll
make a nice little profit. If I'm lucky, I won't break any bones or lose any
limbs. If I do, I may ask you for some light work during my recovery, you'll
give me some lame excuse about budget cuts or a slow season!”
My bones won't heal properly
because I had to get a Medicaid cast instead of the nice fiberglass one that
the company insurance pays for. Sometimes my improperly healed bone will cause
me so much pain that I won't be able to get out of bed. I'll call in sick and
be told that if I don't come in, not to bother at all. This will happen on my
89th day on the job.
I'll call my doctor for a note
of excusal, but I'll have to leave a message with his answering service who
will tell me that he's on vacation and will return my call at his earliest
convenience. I'll make an appointment to see him, which will be cancelled due
to his over flow of Blue Cross patients who booked appointments three weeks,
prior. Maybe he can see me sometime next month.
Today, I don't feel any pain so
I'll take the bus downtown and apply for another job. I'll be asked..."Why
do you want to work here?"