Why Do You Want To Work Here?

The Job Interview

Opportunity for advancement
401k, medical, dental
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I set up an interview for 8:00 am. I donned my best suit which I usually reserve for funerals, and set out, resume' in hand. I was warmly greeted  by an attractive brunette who handed me an application and resumed her cell phone conversation with the girl in Human Resources in the next office. I could hear them talking to each other in stereo from my seat.
          Finally, I was called into the office. After exchanging half-hearted pleasantries and handshakes, I was told to have a seat while my prospective new employer perused my application and resume'. “So tell me...why do you want to work here?" I could feel my blood pressure rising as I felt obligated to answer this particularly stupid and mundane question.
          "What gives you the idea that I want to work here? What makes you so sure that I want to work at all? And you want me to do what!? I don't want to work here. I especially don't want to work here for the pittance that you're so boldly offering for my services. If I didn't need to eat, I wouldn't waste my valuable time talking to you. I could find better things to do like looking for other worthwhile ventures and opportunities where I can put my talent and imagination to good use!"
          "After ninety days, your benefits will become active. You'll get a 10% raise after a year of service." By then, the cost of living will have gone up 30%. I hope my benefits will cover the cost of anti-depressants.
          “I'll work till I bleed; I’ll be exposed to dangerous conditions, chemicals, and faulty equipment, and you'll make a nice little profit. If I'm lucky, I won't break any bones or lose any limbs. If I do, I may ask you for some light work during my recovery, you'll give me some lame excuse about budget cuts or a slow season!”
          My bones won't heal properly because I had to get a Medicaid cast instead of the nice fiberglass one that the company insurance pays for. Sometimes my improperly healed bone will cause me so much pain that I won't be able to get out of bed. I'll call in sick and be told that if I don't come in, not to bother at all. This will happen on my 89th day on the job.
          I'll call my doctor for a note of excusal, but I'll have to leave a message with his answering service who will tell me that he's on vacation and will return my call at his earliest convenience. I'll make an appointment to see him, which will be cancelled due to his over flow of Blue Cross patients who booked appointments three weeks, prior. Maybe he can see me sometime next month.
          Today, I don't feel any pain so I'll take the bus downtown and apply for another job. I'll be asked..."Why do you want to work here?"