Business Communication and Etiquette Skills
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Communication and Etiquette Skills for Life and Workplace
We've all been there during this journey we call life. Every so often we must deal with sticky people and sticky situations and wisdom navigating these situations is always a blessing.
I've had the fortunate opportunity to attend many communication and personal development seminars over the years and will share a few highlighted tidbits that I thought were important enough to write down in my own words, and I hope this insight and wisdom will help others as well.
It always helps to not take things to personally and to take the High Road. Yes it is much easier said than done. Here are a few tips to help make that happen.
Secrets to Increasing Your Professional/Personal Power
Don’t wait to be given what you want. 92% what you don’t ask for you won’t get.
Biggest mistake women make is we tell the truth, the whole truth, nothing but the truth: This outfit is from Walmart; this is a wig; etc. Just say Thank You.
We deny the importance of money. Money is important. If you are concerned about your welfare then you will be concerned about money. Money is not the most important thing in life but it’s in the top 5 priorities.
You will never get more than you ask for.
People who are promoted the quickest are the ones who are underwhelmed, not the ones overwhelmed.
Being perceived as trustworthy is more valuable than being perceived as a top performer. They will give up excellence for trustworthiness.
You need to like you. You need to think you are cute. You need to like your clothes. You need to like your hair. You need to think you look cute.
Take the desperation out of wanting: it is well with me if…..I don’t have children…..if I don’t get married…..if I don’t get that big house…..if…if….Because this may be the best it will get. Take the desperation out of wanting. Are you going to discredit all your blessings because you don’t have (fill in the blank)? FIND THE JOY!!
If you hold on to tightly to your job, paranoia will hit you.
Verbal Combacks to Regain Your Power and Respect
If someone is mad at you, or you need to get someone off your back:
I’m not getting what I need to make this worth my time.
I respectfully disagree.
This is not a complaint, but an observation (If you are a female it only takes 2 complaints before you are considered a nag. Men get 6 complaints before they are considered a nag. You make it an observation.
Because you didn’t call, I made the decision myself. (Your lack of togetherness shouldn’t cause me chaos).
If you don’t speak up, you lose your right to complain.
I could answer that, but it’s best I don’t.
I have come to respect your opinion. Please give me the reason for your decision.
In the future I will be more realistic to what I agree to – I apologize.
I want to focus on this issue but your anger is distracting me. Approach me when you calm down.
The Laws of Forgiveness
Forgive them based on their maturity age. If their maturity age is 13 years we may have more grace towards them. If I think about their kids and hope for good things for their children, then anger towards them goes away.
It’s not fair to expect someone to save you. Always look like you have places to go. People are attracted to those who look like they are going places.
Women are attracted to men men who are mindful, not heartful. Mindful men know how to make decisions and they are leaders. Nice guys do finish last. If someone breaks into the house in the middle of the night you don’t want your man hiding under the bed with you.
Men find women who are confident and approachable attractive.
The Laws of Super-Effectiveness – Controlling Your Mind
You must understand your mind is your servant not your master. If you don’t give your mind direction it will go to where it causes you pain and suffering.
Priority of today is planning your tomorrow. Don’t wing today what you want to do. What is on your mind today?
Creativity. The more creative you are, the more conflicts you will have with your mind. Creativity comes from your heart. It may conflict with common sense. Our mind is attracted to negative things.
When you are super effective you don’t allow other people’s lack of togetherness cause you chaos. Some people are addicted to chaos. But they affect me negatively and I don’t want to be around it.
If you really want to know someone look who they honor. How does your man introduce you to people? How he introduces you is how he really feels about you.
Quit feeding people. Quit bringing in the cakes and cookies to feed people. It tarnishes your promotable image.
Time Marches On
Are you trying to manage time? You can’t. What you can manage is choices. Highly effective people focus on building relationships and learn to deal with others. If you don’t make choices for your life, someone else will do it for you.
Take a meaningful risk. Where you are now and where you want to be is the risk you never took.
Avoiding Drama in Your Life
The person who cares the least has the most power. The person who cares the most has the least power.
When people show you who they are – believe them the first time.
It can be more valuable to like a person than love them. When you like someone you enjoy their company and enjoy talking to them. Love doesn’t keep a marriage together.
Don’t say in private what you wouldn’t want repeated in public.
Consider their maturity age before you consider their biological age. They can be 85 years old and act like an 8 year old. So you are dealing with an 8 year old.
If you fail or success it will be because of who you dishonor.
When you are at the office working on your computer, it becomes their email.
Roadblocks to Communication
- Pre-judging situations.
- Sending solutions. Don’t tell people what to do.
- Avoiding the concerns of others – not listening, not hearing the message.
FUD = Fear, Uncertainty, Doubt is why we get stuck.
Make a list of 10 things you do very well. Read each of these every day for the rest of your life. You will get more respect and dignity. We are a walking advertisement for how we are treated by others.
What prevents us from taking risks? Fear, embarrassment, what other people may think.
Focus on Greatness. If you focus all day on finding growth – you will find it. If you focus all day on the petty stuff, you will find it.
Three things to do with baggage: a) carry it around your waist; b) take action, don’t whine; or c) LET GO!
Behavior Not Confronted Will Not Change.
Dealing with Anxiety in Order to Express Yourself
Barriers to effective speaking are: stress, worry, anger, fear (or lack of self-confidence).
Your audience doesn’t care if you are scared.The more you do it the better you get at it.
Four down and dirty speaker tips:
- Breath – deep breaths and shaking your hands and feet (no kidding) will stop the bad voice and shaking and you must be standing.
- Memorize the first 2 minutes of your presentation.
- Challenges. Get your audience to think about their problems, dreams, etc.
- Know your stuff (know what you are talking about).
- Know who you are stuffing (who is your audience).
- Know when they are stuffed. No more than 4 points in any presentation, and it should be specific and relevant information.
Six You-Gotta’s To be a Powerful Communicator
- Speak Up
- Know When to Speak Up
- Dump the Junk
- Bust Out (thinking outside the lines. Want new results? Need to think new).
- Listen Up
- Be Committed
- How to Annoy Your Coworkers
There are many reasons why people love working at home. They love the work and don’t like the bad office politics, the interruptions, or many annoying behaviors that are distracting during a work day in the cubicle life. Some behaviors are just plain
- Do leave your name and phone number twice when leaving a voicemail.
- Do your actions speak as loudly as your words?
- Do you say one thing, but act differently?
- Do you try to change one’s attitude or opinion?
- Show respect?
- Really listen?
- Clearly understand?
- Allow others to speak?
- Don’t tune out before the other person is finished speaking.
© 2012 Michelle Dee