De Greek and Patch Adams – perfect partners?

I'm sure many Hubbers know De Greek – well, he does have about 460 “followers”, so at least they must read the witty and otherwise utterly useless things he writes here on HubPages. He was also for a mercifully short time an “elite” here, whatever that means!

Anyway, he wrote a Hub a while back about “Doctors and Dentists” in which he lamented the need of those of us of relatively advanced years (I have to admit to being about six years older than he is!) to have what is politely called a “rectal examination” - which is just a euphemism for having someone, preferably a suitably qualified medical person – oh, what the hell and political correctness be damned – a suitably qualified medical man, shove a finger up one's bum (suitably lubricated and rubber-gloved, of course!). As a man one might not really like it to be a woman doctor  – but more on that later!

Now the alleged purpose of this is to check whether or not one has an enlarged prostate gland, apparently a good indicator of prostate cancer, to which men of a certain age are particularly prone, especially if they have been cyclists for a long time (check this out, Micky Dee!).

Since healthcare is very topical at the moment, whether socialised or privatised, I thought to share a little story of my own, inspired by De Greek's Hub.

To cut a long story even longer I am facing this not too pleasant prospect in the next month.

Now my women readers – being the modest fellow I am, despite some nasty allegations to the contrary, I cannot brag here – the many adoring women readers I seem to have garnered during my three years on HubPages, also have to undergo certain medical examinations, very often by male gynaecologists.

Now it might not be very pertinent to the story that I'm trying to tell, but I have often wondered about the number of male gynaecologists. This is a purely academic question asked in a genuine search for knowledge, so please, any male gynaecologist reading this should please not become defensive – but is there a particular type of male who gets attracted to this noble profession? I think anyone who has seen the movie “Patch Adams” will be able to relate to my question.

As my annual "rectal examination" is coming up in the next few weeks I thought I would read De Greek's wonderful Hub again, just to prepare myself adequately for the experience, and left the following comment, which De Greek in his usual imperious way immediately ordered me to make a Hub of. His words verbatim: "First of all, put this down in a Hub and make all your friends laugh. Get your finger out (!) and get on with it immediately."

So, obedient as always (?) here it is. I hope you enjoy it!

Needless to say your Hub is devoid of anything useful in that regard (preparing my mind for the rectal exam ordeal!), but it got me to thinking about dentists, not a subject I usually spend much time on.

I once had to go to a person answering that general description in a rural area of our lovely country to get a tooth fixed that I had broken on the steak I had mistakenly tried in a dining car of our illustrious railway service. I had come by rail from university in the Cape to visit with my parents who were then living in Butterworth in the former Transkei.

Being rather young and easily impressed I was very taken with the young lass (her legs were long and her skirt was short – do I have to elaborate?) impersonating a receptionist in the waiting area of his euphemistically-termed "rooms". So much so that I did not notice when he went to work on the wrong tooth with a wickedly blunt, very old, drill, promptly demolishing that tooth also!

By the time I came out of his "rooms" I had a very rough filling in the wrong tooth and the broken tooth still broken. Not to mention an aching jaw and a certain inexpressible longing ...!

The young lady impersonating the receptionist smiled sweetly as I went out, causing me to trip over the threadbare carpet as I made for the door, almost cracking another tooth in the process! And doing absolutely nothing about my inexpressible longing, though I'm sure, as a woman of the world, she could not have been unaware of it!

I afterwards found out two things which might or might not have a bearing on the story: firstly the so-called "dentist" was what is politely called a "piss-cat"; and the pretend-receptionist, less than half his age, was his lady-friend, not to put too fine a point on it!

What's the moral of my sad tale? I have absolutely no idea, and, despite my plea, De Greek did not help either!

In my comment on the afrorementioned Hub I had entered a heartfelt plea: " I ... thought in your infinite wisdom you could help me there? Perhaps you could do a Hub about it" How neatly he turned the tables on me - now I'm writing the Hub about it!

However, on reflection, I think that perhaps De Greek is really a healer and spreader of peace and understanding, the way the real Patch Adams is.

I'm not talking about the rather over-sentimental movie of that name, but rather about Hunter Doherty Adams, nicknamed "Patch", who was born in 1945 and got his medical degree from the Medical College of Virginia. He made two crucial decisions early in his career: firstly to serve humanity through medicine and secondly never to have a bad day.

In fulfillment of those two decisions he started the Gesungheit! Institute, a "project in holistic medical care based on the belief that one cannot separate the health of the individual from the health of the family, the community, the world, and the health care system itself."

His belief is that "laughter, joy and creativity are an integral part of the healing process."

I think that De Greek spreads a lot of that through his thoroughly humane, enjoyable, witty and entertaining Hubs. Maybe he's not the only one on HubPages who does this, but he certainly is among the best.

So maybe his Hubs aren't so useless after all, as they do spread "laughter, joy and creativity" in good meaure!

So there you are, De Greek, I think I have followed your order to the letter and even, perhaps, added a little spirit!

A final note:

Now this last comment I'm sure will be a welcome gift to those who think healthcare should be "privatised" - I attend a public health service clinic where I get all my medications free plus a bi-annual examination by a very well-qualified and proficient doctor. I have the greatest respect for this doctor and have received excellent care and advice. No problems in that regard.

The only problem is that the doctor who will be sticking a finger up my bum is a woman, and a young, attractive one at that! And, in addition, she is no young Rashmi, and so won't take my word for the condition of my protate, no matter how much I might protest! It'll be the finger, otherwise known as the "Rockefeller Salute", no matter what!

A visit to the Gesundheit! Institute's home page is very educative and uplifting. It is a wonderful place to visit. On the site is a lot of information about the "real" Patch Adams and the many projects he has been and still is involved in.

There is even an invitation to health- and care-workers to contribute to a project on developing a curriculum for "The Education of Compassion" which is envisaged as a 2 to 6 year programme. Interested people are invited to "Be a co-designer for the future of health care, a future emphasizing compassionate and joyful service."

A worthwhile endeavour, I should think!

On the website of the Gesundheit! Institute (and don't you just love the exclamation mark in the middle of the name?) are some of Patch's "Precriptions", one of which, in the form of ten questions, is reproduced below.

1. If no one wants to end up in a nursing home, what kind of community can celebrate all ages together and honor elders?

2. Could you choose at least one child you're not related to and give them the time and care they need?

3. If compassion and generosity were the measure of success that money and power are now, how would your life change?

4. In order to bond your neighborhood in healthy interdependence you would need to host weekly potlucks. Would you?

5. If being publicly joyful, even silly, were beneficial for our society, would you participate?

6. If you have rooms at your home, why not take in single parents as a gift?

7. How can we move to an economics of friendship?

8. Could you do ten or more volunteer hours each week to make a healthier world?

9. Do you dare to be universally friendly to end violence?

10. Can you match the cost of everything you buy with a donation to an environmental sustainability project?

The text and all images on this page, unless otherwise indicated, are by Tony McGregor who hereby asserts his copyright on the material. Should you wish to use any of the text or images feel free to do so with proper attribution and, if possible, a link back to this page. Thank you.

© Tony McGregor 2011