Do You Have a Niche?

OK, enough Titles and Summaries and Subtitles: let us get down to business.

HubPages subdivided into niches. Like a one-celled organism reproducing, the site split into specialized subtopics tightly focused on crucial issues such as tattoos. No doubt HubLeaders knew what they were doing. No doubt this virtual online mitosis benefits all of us in ways we will never understand. Like Bernie Sanders hoovering our wallets, nothing can go wrong here.

You do not want to be left behind. As massive multi-national content mills specialize into niche multi-national content mills, be sure to tag along. You need a niche.

You've come to the correct place. I, as a Master Hubber^*, deign to help you identify and exploit precisely what you need. In the cutthroat world of hubbing I am one of the few hubbers who actually cares about you. The rest of 'em are looking to glom onto your eyeballs.

I have no political bent. I'm mostly harmless. Stick with me and together we will benefit you in ways we could never imagine. Please don't think for one moment that your old ways of writing could possibly survive. This new era of niche hubbing requires alternate mindsets heretofore unimagined. You're gonna need to energize your core competencies. Plan to leverage existential team-building while continuously improving. Nothing can stop us now.

^* a term I made up. Any similarity to existing people, events, or multi-national content mills is purely coincidental.

"Is it fate, or random chance? How can I decide?
Are we victims of circumstance, when destinies collide?"

(c) Universal Music Publishing Group

308 words into this article I will now begin to outline the framework for identifying potential candidates vis-à-vis your niche. You've made it this far: don't give up now.

My niche is helping you find your niche. See how easy that was? Your specific niche must be some other niche that is not my niche. Stick with me as we winnow the field of niches. Be patient, grasshopper.

What rhymes with niche? Sometimes lateral thinking guides us to where we always wanted to end up in the first place.

glitch, hitch, kitsch, sales pitch, ignition switch

The previous plethora of words certainly serves to direct you. Look inward as you meditate upon what you have been given. Keep in mind that "tattoo" has been usurped by HubPages: this may appear daunting on the surface but you can still claim "hepatitis" or "emotional regret" "consumer fraud" or a host of other concepts closely related to skin art. I know I would.

Some of the best writers on HubPages, except me, experience writers-block. If you still don't have your niche, keep reading. My words thank you for your support.

Should you find yourself needing to be clocked on the figurative head with actual niche options, here you go:

Cabbage Patch Kids: Are they tools of the bourgeois or harmless money-wasters?

Talk Radio: Who knew radios could talk? Why do conservatives gather in front of their receivers to be pandered to by Sean Hannity?

Nasal Spray: A tool of the bourgeois or soothing relief during dry Winter months?

MorgueFile.com: The Internet repository for free pictures or the Internet repository for free pictures?

DrBJ: HubPages' eminent laureate or HubPages' virtual bot with publishing credits on Amazon.com ?

Apples: If you cut one in half, is it still a tool of the bourgeois?

We 'interviewed' The 1% in order to learn their niche secrets. Feel free to benefit from their hard work: it's almost as good as making them pay more taxes and having that money go to the government where it will be spent on minimum wages for unwed minority college students with bad cell phone plans.

Tech mogul BG says "I searched long and hard for my niche. Eventually I found it tucked away on my 3rd-largest yacht underneath a comforter hand-made by Na'vi craftsmen."

Politician DT says: "My niche is great and yours is stupid. When I am elected President everyone will have a niche and Mexico will pay for them."

Physicist NDT says : "My niche is in 5 dimensions and only I understand it."

Celebrity KK, famous for being famous, says: "My niche? Oh, it's, like, well, um, you know. Oh look! A bird! "

We conclude that this is the end and you have been inevitably aided. Thank you for reading this far and not clicking away to Facebook, which is no place to find a niche.

Realize, I did, that this article approaches 850 words. HubPages places a special value on such writing. Certainly 849 words are not nearly as effective. We know Google can't measure good writing, but complex software algorithms written by 8th graders can count words.