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Some Stupid Questions and Stupid Answers

Updated on August 27, 2014

There's a section of HubPages (this website) where people can ask questions that writers can answer. Not all of them are thoughtful or intelligent.

I've put together a list of questions asked on HubPages that, for some reason or another, have made me laugh out loud. Perhaps they will do the same for you. And, for the benefit of those who have made these requests, I'll answer them, too.

All askers' names have been removed to protect the...uh...innocent.

(image source: disabilitiesunlimited.org)
(image source: disabilitiesunlimited.org)

Why don’t birds die mid-flight and fall out of the sky? Or do they but I just don’t know?

They do. You just don't know.

How do you convince your kid if you've beaten him/her? Is it always easy?

The bruises might convince him. But why would you want to convince him of that?

(I'm not a terrible person. How else would you take this question?)

If I dropped an ipod in a glass of juice and it was on would it still work?

Probably not. If it does work, it will only play The Orange Juice Song from now on.

WOULD COULD I GET A GOOD RECORD DEAL FROM.

Would that we all could get good record deals. Good luck, my friend.

How Do You Get Into A Relationship With A Girl Who Doesn't Know You?

Stalk her obsessively, like you probably already have been doing. Girls like it when you know everything about them before you've ever spoken to them.

Thanks for being my 1st 'fan' ! :-)) Pl start yr 1st hub.Looking forward to it. Best wishes.

You're welcome! I've already got several hubs, but thanks for asking. Best wishes to you, as well.

I want a tattoo deign consisting of both the Welsh and English flags or something along those lines. Any ideas???

I don't know what a tattoo deign is, but if you want the Welsh and English flags, just tattoo one across your entire chest, and one across your entire back. You've got one coming and going.

is the sixth sense well developed in the fairer sex?

First, I admire your use of alliteration and consonance in your request. Second, I think "the fairer sex" is an outdated and sexist term. Third, I have no idea if the sixth sense exists at all, let alone developed in "the fairer sex."

herpes cure

Sorry, there isn't one.

All people want happiness and do not want to suffer. Each person needs to have a happy criteria. What criteria happy for you? You will be happy if .....

Hmm, interesting and unintelligible question. I've never really thought about my happy criteria. I guess I will be happy if people don't beat me up for publishing this hub. 

What's your best lemon recipe for lemonheads like at our house?

The lemonheads at your house are probably good enough. I'm sure you don't need my help. If it ain't broke... 

I won the eBay bid for the domain berniemadoffvoodoo.com (the auction was for charity), now can some one tell me what to do with this usual domain?

You should start your own TV show about a dude named Bernie who gets high off of voodoo and has trippy hallucinations about HubPages. Title it "Bernie: Mad Off Voodoo." Then make your website about that. 

Other than toilet paper, when you buy a product, why don't you completely use it? ie. Use 5% of the features on a cell phone, read a book cover to cover, forget conference material 7 days later?

Looks like you answered your own question, buddy. Go teach a "Reduce, Recycle, Reuse" seminar to let off some steam. 

There are no stupid questions or stupid answers. (image source: barryhasablog.blogspot.com)
There are no stupid questions or stupid answers. (image source: barryhasablog.blogspot.com)

My male cat howls like Brian Setzer every night and keeps me awake! What do I do?

Start building your defense against Brian Setzer's lawyer for when he sues you for defamation of character.

mel waiters Got my whiskey

Go make him give it back.

What makes teenagers think that they know it all? Why do they have to be so mean and disrespectful?

They learn how to whine and generalize from their elders.

i am single pretty and if u are looking for a girl like that i am it

You must be, if you're using HubPages as a way to meet guys.

i just want no how to impress girls, how to interact with girls and give me suggetion i am very much interested in this issue please help me

You should get together with the girl who asked the question above.

Could you please create a hub on Adrenal depletion/support? I love your hubs! Great work.

I don't know anything about Adrenal depletion, but thanks for the compliment.

IS THERE A FINANCIAL SUCCESS SECRET FOR DUMMIES?

Yes. Learn the rules of capitalization.

Can I BreastFeed My Husband?

Only if your baby isn't the jealous type.

What to do if your tooth falls out

Put it under your pillow and see if the Tooth Fairy gives you any money for it.

WHAT DRIVES YOU?

A 2000 Chevy Prism.

what to do when no one listens to you:

I'm sorry, did you say something?

Should I cut the red or the blue wire? Please answer accurately, as I could be in serious trouble if you provide the wrong answer.

The red. No, the blue. No wait, the red. Yeah, I'm pretty sure it's the red.

What are the disadvantages of Farting in Public?

My guess, if you're making this request, is that you already have experienced the disadvantages of farting in public.

I could've avoided a lot of trouble if...

I had never published this Hub.


Comments

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    • Nayothara profile image

      Nayothara 7 years ago

      This is really good! I enjoy reading this!

    • EasySales profile image

      EasySales 7 years ago

      Thanks-lightened my day! I like the girl looking for guy/guy looking for a girl pair.

      PS I love the profile pic - I also have cats.

    • profile image

      creativeMind @ hubpages 8 years ago

      LOL .. cool post.

      really a good hub..

    • Enelle Lamb profile image

      Enelle Lamb 8 years ago from Canada's 'California'

      LOL! Great stuff - makes me laugh (or it could be sleep deprivation) either way I loved it :D

    • mejane profile image

      mejane 8 years ago from Jacksonville Beach

      I haven't laughed out loud at anyone's writing in a long time--well, not since I read Marley & Me, but you're a close 2nd. Thanks!

    • SEM Pro profile image

      SEM Pro 8 years ago from North America

      Love it! The lighter side of Hubbing... Thanks, I needed a good laugh this morning :)

    • mayhmong profile image

      mayhmong 8 years ago from North Carolina

      I love your smartass response to these dumb request! Keep up the good work!

    • Sally's Trove profile image

      Sherri 8 years ago from Southeastern Pennsylvania

      These are hysterical! Don't know where I've been for so long not to have found these and Anna Marie's. Your answers are the gems we all wish we could come up with when put on the spot. And your final request-answer pair is just perfect...I hope only good trouble came your way. Thumbs up.

    • Teresa McGurk profile image

      Sheila 8 years ago from The Other Bangor

      this is brilliant.I can't type for laughing, thank you thank you

      but you need to add the one about what to do when your brain go hang out.

    • Karen Banes profile image

      Karen Banes 8 years ago from Canada

      Love this hub. There are indeed stupid questions, thank God! Without them there would be no hilariously funny answers!

    • k@ri profile image

      Kari Poulsen 8 years ago from Ohio

      There is nothing like sitting alone in your living room laughing out loud! My kids want to know what I'm doing. Thanks

    • profile image

      Rainbow Brite 8 years ago

      roflmao wow, I'm really glad you wrote this. I spend much of my time in the "Requests" section (because well, I'm not smart enough to come up with my own topics to write about), and I thought I was the only one that noticed the funny and stupid things people request! So glad to know I'm not alone...and by the way, it's the blue wire!

    • Specificity profile image

      Specificity 8 years ago from EAU CLAIRE, WI

      Farting in public? Ha! Great read.

    • LisaStar profile image

      LisaStar 8 years ago from New England

      Great hub! Loved it :)

    • Elena. profile image

      Elena. 8 years ago from Madrid

      I just had to stop laughing by the time I reached the herpes cure, I was laughing so hard! And the blue and red wire, oh boy, what a roll! Fabulous, and thanks for the laughs!

    • alexd181 profile image

      alexd181 8 years ago

      LOL Your responses are great!!

    • Cybermouse profile image

      Cybermouse 8 years ago from Bentonville, AR

      Great hub!

    • profile image

      Kellys Writing 8 years ago

      This was a really funny hub. Great job. Loved your answers.

      Best Wishes

    • profile image

      C. C. Riter 8 years ago

      I too get a laugh from reading some of the requests, never thought about answering them though. Great job and funny too.

    • Junkster profile image

      Junkster 8 years ago from Liverpool, UK

      HaHa, great stuff, I'd seen that blue wire/red wire one before...I assumed it was too late to respond :D

    • Anna Marie Bowman profile image

      Anna Marie Bowman 8 years ago from Florida

      This is so funny!!! I have often thought about some of the stranger requests I have seen, and how I would answer them. Thank you for making me smile! Excellent job!

    • gamergirl profile image

      Kiz 8 years ago from Antioch, TN

      Hilarious!!

    • ProfoundPuns profile image
      Author

      ProfoundPuns 8 years ago from Maryland, USA

      Thanks, everyone! I had a ton of fun finding these requests, and then answering them! I'm glad you all enjoyed reading this hub.

    • Camping Dan profile image

      Camping Dan 8 years ago

      It seems there are lots of requests for meeting singles. Maybe that should be added to the forum. A singles bar type place so they can start meeting each other and talking about what else ... hubs.

    • Bruce Elkin profile image

      Bruce Elkin 8 years ago from Victoria, BC Canada

      Great job! I commend you for wading through all the drivel to get these nuggets. Cheers!

    • marcofratelli profile image

      marcofratelli 8 years ago from Australia

      hahhahahahah

    • SiddSingh profile image

      SiddSingh 8 years ago

      Absolutely hilarious!

      Especially the one about lemonheads!

    • Lifebydesign profile image

      Lifebydesign 8 years ago from Australia

      What rich material - great job with the answers too Profound!

    • Matrixkavi profile image

      Matrixkavi 8 years ago from India

      fantastic job, man!

    • EYEAM4ANARCHY profile image

      Kelly W. Patterson 8 years ago from Las Vegas, NV.

      It always amazes me when I read some of the junk in the request section.

      Good collection!

    • LondonGirl profile image

      LondonGirl 8 years ago from London

      fantastic collection!

    • Purple Perl profile image

      Purple Perl 8 years ago from Bangalore,India

      Absolutely hilarious! Excellent work,Profoundpuns,even though you answered your own request.The responses you gave are truly delightful!

    • mistyhorizon2003 profile image

      Cindy Lawson 8 years ago from Guernsey (Channel Islands)

      Very funny, I loved this. An instant fan, thumbs up :)

    • jim10 profile image

      jim10 8 years ago from ma

      Great Hub. You know, I'm starting to question the idea that there are no stupid questions.

    • Cris A profile image

      Cris A 8 years ago from Manila, Philippines

      I love this - very tongue in cheek funny! Two thumbs up, way way up! And I must say a stupid question begets a joke LOL :D

    • Mighty Mom profile image

      Susan Reid 8 years ago from Where Left is Right, CA

      ProfoundPuns, Although some of the name-protected requesters might feel otherwise, I give you thumbs up for going above and beyond in your thorough and thoughtful responses. Have you considered a career as an advice columnist? :-). MM

    • ProfoundPuns profile image
      Author

      ProfoundPuns 8 years ago from Maryland, USA

      Thanks! I used your hubs as inspiration for this one, rockinjoe!

    • rockinjoe profile image

      Joseph Addams 8 years ago from Standing right behind you!

      very well done! Nice job:)