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How To Stop Internet Bullying. Be Safe On The Internet.

Updated on April 4, 2017
Nell Rose profile image

Nell is a trained Psychologist and lives in London England. She has been writing since she was a child.

Internet Safety.
Internet Safety. | Source

Every single person who writes for the Internet is opening themselves up to harassment or even stalking. When we first sign onto a site, we believe that everybody else will automatically respect your privacy and just politely comment and then move on.

It seems that this isn't so. I have recently been harassed by another hubber, who's name I shall keep to myself. This was not just harassment, this was actually much more than that. It was more like stalking.

Purely because I have been polite to him on his hubs, he has decided that I must be interested in him enough to leave his own country, get on a plane and come to live with me. I am sure my new boyfriend who I live with will be really happy to hear about that!

So why does someone who has literally read a couple of my comments on their hubs decide that actually I am 'up for it?' so to speak.

This is a great question. And the answer? I have no idea. But I do know one thing. I now realise that the debate recently in the newspapers about whether you should give your real name out on the Internet, or whether you should change it so that its completely different does actually answer this question. I now know that I would never ever use my real name.

For anybody out there that thinks by writing a comment it will actually be an open invitation to come over and move in, here's the answer. Please don't bother. We are here to write. We all have our own private lives. I know I do.

I have recently met a great guy, and yes I call him my husband, go figure! lol! But seriously, why does someone who only reads my work, believe they know me so well?

And actually have the nerve to ignore the facts and think I am interested in them? I believe its because we all are so familiar with each other as writers, that we get to thinking that we actually know each and every person intimately.

But this is just not the case. Writing on any site is just a small part of our lives. What we do, where we go and who we interact with in the outside World is much more important and real.

Now I have that out in the open lets just take a quick look at what we should do to keep safe.

public domain
public domain

Its Just Common Sense.

  • Never ever give your real name. I don't care if some stupid Politician decides that we must, according to a new survey.
  • Never ever give out your email address. If someone contacts you from hubpages or any other site, unless you trust them completely, make sure you send them a reply from another email address that has no money links. For example the same email address you use for Paypal.
  • Never write about the town you are living in. I did write about the town I was born in. Different thing altogether. Now that I have moved up North I felt that it was fine to mention it. If you still live there, don't bother to write about it.
  • Always be polite if you start getting harassed. But then remove your follow status etc from hubpages, facebook and any other site you have contact on.
  • If you feel as though the person doing the harassing won't listen, then contact Hubstaff or the Staff of the site you are writing for.
  • And last but not least, never ever send money over the Internet. In my case this wasn't even asked for, but just in case you are asked, never ever reciprocate.

To keep safe just use your common sense. And if you feel that these measures are not enough, then contact your local police.

Hopefully the person who keeps harassing me will understand that I am not available, and was just being friendly. I am sure it was just a misunderstanding. In this case I will give him the benefit of the doubt.

This time.

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    • Nell Rose profile image
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      Nell Rose 4 years ago from England

      Thanks DDE that's so true, hopefully one day the powers that be will sort out the bad guys and somehow keep them from causing the trouble, thanks!

    • DDE profile image

      Devika Primić 4 years ago from Dubrovnik, Croatia

      Some people have sick minds and sometimes are bored so decide to target someone who is trying to be friendly. The don't see themselves as accepted in society and decide to corrupt other people's loves, good tips here thanks

    • Nell Rose profile image
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      Nell Rose 4 years ago from England

      Thanks rajan, yes it did get a little bit silly, but that's the trouble there is always someone out there who sees into it too much, thanks for reading, nell

    • rajan jolly profile image

      Rajan Singh Jolly 4 years ago from From Mumbai, presently in Jalandhar,INDIA.

      Nell, this is indeed shocking! I mean how could someone just on the basis of a few comments entertain such thoughts. As writers we need to be polite and courteous to our readers.

      Thanks for putting out this warning for others to benefit and be aware of these types of individuals.

    • Nell Rose profile image
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      Nell Rose 5 years ago from England

      Thanks vespawoolf, yes he got the message! Well I hope he did, so it is definitely worth using a different name on here, I live a long way away from my original town, so now I can write about it, but there is no way I would write about the place I am staying in now for instance, thanks again for reading, nell

    • vespawoolf profile image

      vespawoolf 5 years ago from Peru, South America

      How scary! It's so true that we're all open to harassment and stalking. I hope your situation improves soon. Meanwhile, these are great reminders about our privacy. It may seem like paranoia to some, but it's survival on the internet.

    • Nell Rose profile image
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      Nell Rose 5 years ago from England

      Thanks Au Fait, I totally agree with everything you say, at the end of the day its down to us to keep safe, nell

    • Au fait profile image

      C E Clark 5 years ago from North Texas

      One of our fellow hubbers has gotten pretty angry with me because I won't tell him my real name or age, etc. I don't tell anyone those things over the Internet. I have had lots of others nag and ridicule me because I won't share those things with them.

      One can't be too careful on the Net. Anyone can be whomever they want to be on here, and so even though I am pressured for personal information as proof I am who I say I am, I turn the tables on them. How do I know they are who they say they are?

      The same thing is often true of people we see in our neigborhoods or at our workplace. Just because we are in close physical proximity doesn't mean they are who they seem to be or that they are honest or trustworthy. In fact, the people in one's neighborhood have easier access to us than people on the other side of the world. It goes without saying one should be careful with whom you share financial information with even if you do think you know them.

      How many women end up beaten to a pulp by their own husbands? Men they thought they knew well enough to marry them, but it would seem they didn't know them so well after all.

      Protect your identity from theft and protect your bank account from theft. Your address, birthday, and name is all that is needed often times to get a credit card in your name. There are plenty of places one can get your Social Security # and driver's license number online if you just have a name, address, and/or birthdate.

      Excellent hub. Voted up and useful. Will share.

    • Nell Rose profile image
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      Nell Rose 5 years ago from England

      Hi Vinaya, that's terrible! why do people do this? I am sorry to hear you had to go through that, and I am glad she has gone now, thanks for reading, nell

    • Vinaya Ghimire profile image

      Vinaya Ghimire 5 years ago from Nepal

      I have read some true stories of online harassment. Thanks for sharing yours and making us aware about online safety.

      Once I was also harassed my a hubber, she said, I write craps and try to influence my views. I politely said English is not my first language, so I'm not as better as you. And I earn fairly well by writing on newspaper and online writing is just my hobby.

      She is no more on hubpages.

    • Nell Rose profile image
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      Nell Rose 5 years ago from England

      Hi moonlake, thanks for reading, yes it does make us think we this happens, at least it gave me the reminder to be careful, thanks so much, nell

    • moonlake profile image

      moonlake 5 years ago from America

      I once saw where someone on hubpages said we should all put our real pictures on and I thought at the time, is she nuts. She said she wouldn't follow anyone that did not use their real picture on their profile. How would you know? I also think it is a big mistake to use pictures of young beautiful women or handsome men. Even though it may not be you some weirdo will think it is and want to get friendly.

      I think we all do many things on the internet we shouldn't and do it without thinking.

      Your advice is right on. So sorry you have had this problem.

    • Nell Rose profile image
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      Nell Rose 5 years ago from England

      Hi tills, lol! maybe I should sneeze on him! thanks tills for the laugh, nell

    • Nell Rose profile image
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      Nell Rose 5 years ago from England

      Hi Chewy, yes he did eventually apologise, but it should never have happened in the first place, what on earth was he thinking? theres nowt so strange... as we say over here! lol!

    • tillsontitan profile image

      Mary Craig 5 years ago from New York

      You're really having a time of it....between your Internet idiot and the flu shot! My, my. I hope he gets the idea after reading this hub. You know we could form a posse and really round up this guy!

      In spite of it all you've come across with good information. Voted up and useful.

    • profile image

      Chewy Mommy 5 years ago

      It's kind of scary how some people feel they have enough of an attachment to someone they don't really know to resort to stalking methods. That's part of the reason I use a pen name here and a couple other sites I write for. Hopefully this situation will be resolved and he will leave you alone now.

    • Nell Rose profile image
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      Nell Rose 5 years ago from England

      Hi Maria, Aw thanks so much, I just found an apology from him on facebook, I am glad he realised that he had stepped over the line, nice to see a guy has manners when he realised that he was wrong, nell

    • Nell Rose profile image
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      Nell Rose 5 years ago from England

      Hi alocsin, yes I did report it, they are just keeping an eye on him for me, but it did take a strange turn today, just checked my facebook and he apologised! so good for him, I am glad he did that, thanks as always, nell

    • Nell Rose profile image
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      Nell Rose 5 years ago from England

      Hi Glimmer, thanks for reading, yes it certainly made me think, must be more careful about information about ourselves in future, glad you liked it, and thanks, nell

    • Nell Rose profile image
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      Nell Rose 5 years ago from England

      Hi drbj, yes that's so true, thanks so much for reading, nell

    • drbj profile image

      drbj and sherry 5 years ago from south Florida

      Sorry you had this experience, Nell, but the Internet makes it very easy for lonely folks or those with ulterior motives to stalk another person. Thanks for these common-sense tips.

    • Glimmer Twin Fan profile image

      Glimmer Twin Fan 5 years ago

      Really useful hub Nell! Makes me think about online safety!

    • alocsin profile image

      alocsin 5 years ago from Orange County, CA

      Nell, what a pain. Have you reported this to HubPages? What did they say? Since this is an excellent warning for everyone, this hub is voted Up and Useful.

    • marcoujor profile image

      Maria Jordan 5 years ago from Jeffersonville PA

      Nell,

      So sorry you had to experience this for the price of being your sweet self.

      Hoping this is an isolated case and you can be free now to write and enjoy the support and friendship of those of us who care for and respect you on HubPages.

      Take care and be happy, Maria

    • Nell Rose profile image
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      Nell Rose 5 years ago from England

      Hi Rolly, sorry about cutting you off on facebook! lol! my stupid pc has a mind of its own! thanks for reading, nell

    • Rolly A Chabot profile image

      Rolly A Chabot 5 years ago from Alberta Canada

      Hi Nell... you are so right here about all the different people who attempt to defraud you of your time and money. I do think governments need to get tougher with laws to stop what is happening...

      Hugs from Canada

    • Nell Rose profile image
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      Nell Rose 5 years ago from England

      Thanks Gordon, what a nightmare! I think in our real lives we tend to spot the odd person and totally avoid them, but to do it on the internet like that! Wow! I suppose we should all really look into internet harassment and see if there is a law, I know I haven't really looked into it yet. I think the guy who was doing it probably gets the point now, but it would be nice if I got an apology, lets face it, he must be reading this! thanks as always, nell

    • Gordon Hamilton profile image

      Gordon Hamilton 5 years ago from Wishaw, Lanarkshire, United Kingdom

      Hi, Nell

      First off, I'm sorry you had to go through this experience. It's not pleasant and not on and I promise I'm not being sexist but I believe it must be worse for a woman.

      Having said that, I've had just such an experience, that went on for a few years. It started circa five years ago, when I was living in London with my ex. I started getting all these e-mails from a woman in Spain (who made no secret of her age - akin to my mother's!) asking me to marry her. I remember showing one e-mail via a site to my ex, who asked, "So how do you do know her?" I think she (my ex) was joking...

      It went on for a long time. She tracked me down around the Web and at one stage (I've never discovered how) even managed to get my personal e-mail address. Honestly! I would love so much to know how she managed to do that. She even sent me an e-mail of pictures of her naked.

      I am glad to say that I haven't heard from her for over a year and hope she has finally got the message, as I hope your idiotic stalker has as well, my friend.

      Good luck in your new life! :)

      Gordon

    • Nell Rose profile image
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      Nell Rose 5 years ago from England

      Hi Linda! Haha! yes so full of malarky! between us we will sort out the hub monsters, glad to see ya, nell

    • Nell Rose profile image
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      Nell Rose 5 years ago from England

      Hi Pamela, thanks so much, yes what a stupid man, but then again maybe he thought he was being funny, who knows? thanks for the votes, nell

    • Nell Rose profile image
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      Nell Rose 5 years ago from England

      Hi effer, lol! I will call you, and let you sort 'em out! thanks so much, yes it was a bit hairy at the time, but I think hes got the message now, nell

    • Sunshine625 profile image

      Linda Bilyeu 5 years ago from Orlando, FL

      WTG Nell Rose! Kick that weirdo to the curb! I'll continue to kick the Facebook casanova wannabe's to the curb!

      Some people are just looney and full of malarky! ;-)

    • Nell Rose profile image
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      Nell Rose 5 years ago from England

      Hi Eddy, thanks so much as always, nell

    • Nell Rose profile image
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      Nell Rose 5 years ago from England

      Hi Martie, great to hear you have got your defence up too, so many of us just get so carried away with chatting to people we forget that we just don't know them, and yes I will thanks Martie, I know who my online friends are thank you, and of course you being one of them! lol!

    • Nell Rose profile image
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      Nell Rose 5 years ago from England

      Hi Caseworker, yes evidently there was another mentioned on facebook, why the heck don't they go to a dating site?! how stupid can they be? at least I have tightened up my security on here, maybe it was a good thing, it brought it home to me just how many people out there are just downright odd! lol! thanks again case, and great to see you, nell

    • CASE1WORKER profile image

      CASE1WORKER 5 years ago from UNITED KINGDOM

      Wow! I am speechless but also realise that these guys prey on women who are alone- I guess he didn't realise that you had a fella ( incase you are reading this Mr Stalker I am not available either

      Thanks for letting us all know and I think this applies equally to the guys as well

    • MartieCoetser profile image

      Martie Coetser 5 years ago from South Africa

      Excellent hub about harassment and stalkers on HubPages and even elsewhere in CyberSpace. After almost 3 years online I, too, have learned a couple of costly lessons, but in the process I've also developed the necessary defense mechanism against stalkers and even against online relationships in general. We HAVE to realize that online relationships are NOT comparable with relationships in reality. Online relationships remind me so much of mother-baby relationships BEFORE the baby is born. The difference is the baby realize in 9 months - an individual with their own personality - not at all what we have envisioned. The online friend may never enter our real world.

      Take care, Nell! Enjoy your real friend! But also enjoy your online friends and slam the door in the face of stalkers and harassers :)

    • Eiddwen profile image

      Eiddwen 5 years ago from Wales

      Thankyou so very much Nell for another gem. Take care and have a wonderful day.

      Eddy.

    • Nell Rose profile image
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      Nell Rose 5 years ago from England

      Hi Terrye, lol! and I will get out my karate things and join you! thanks again, nell

    • Nell Rose profile image
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      Nell Rose 5 years ago from England

      Hi Ruby, I never realised that you had to put up with this too, what a nightmare! why don't some people realise what they are doing is stupid? thanks so much as always, nell

    • fpherj48 profile image

      Paula 5 years ago from Beautiful Upstate New York

      Nell....I'm shocked this has happened to you! I'm also sorry that you've had to deal with this kind of issue. You have handled it in your usual sweet manner, bless your heart.

      Some people have overly-vivid imaginations! We are all "nice" to each other, I would hope, but let's not get the wrong message, huh?

      If you have any more trouble with Mr. Stalker, call me. I know what to do, believe me! And I have references!!!.......Great tips!! UP+++

    • Pamela99 profile image

      Pamela Oglesby 5 years ago from United States

      Nell, I wish I had been more careful. I think your guidelines are really wise. I know you can block someone from making comments on your hubs, but if they have your email address you can still get harassed. It is unreal that someone thinks they can just come and more in with you, uninvited! That is a lot of nerve. I'm glad you wrote this useful hub. Voted up and shared.

    • TToombs08 profile image

      Terrye Toombs 5 years ago from Somewhere between Heaven and Hell without a road map.

      You just let me know, Nell, and I'll but my butt kicking boots on and head over. ;)

    • always exploring profile image

      Ruby Jean Fuller 5 years ago from Southern Illinois

      Rose I had the same experience with a hubber. I admired his poetry and he wanted to meet me, anywhere! It is really difficult for me to not comment from my heart, but I am more aware now. Great hub, very important info. Cheers..

    • Nell Rose profile image
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      Nell Rose 5 years ago from England

      Hi Ruchira, thanks so much, and yes I totally agree with you, it's a scary business sometimes but well worth it to meet good friends on the way like you, and I really appreciate you reading, thanks nell

    • Ruchira profile image

      Ruchira 5 years ago from United States

      I agree Nell.

      I use a lot of caution when friending people cause Internet is virtual and we can't trust. However, I am glad to have found a bunch of good and worthy pals like you along this way.

      Cheers!!

    • Nell Rose profile image
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      Nell Rose 5 years ago from England

      Hi christin, so true, the weirdo's are there even though we think people are okay, I just hope the one who was writing to me is genuinely mistaken, I would hate to think he really was trouble, thanks so much for reading, nell

    • Nell Rose profile image
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      Nell Rose 5 years ago from England

      Thanks for reading Steph, glad you liked it, nell

    • christin53 profile image

      Ann-Christin 5 years ago from UK

      Unfortunately there are so many weirdo's on the internet who come across quite normal to start with. I have several email accounts for different things such as one for Hubpages,one for banking and money stuff and a personal one just for family and friends. My facebook account is only for friends and family and not strangers on the net. It's good advice not to use your real name or full name either.

    • StephSev108 profile image

      Stephanie Marie Severson 5 years ago from Atlanta, GA

      Thanks for the info. I voted up.

    • Nell Rose profile image
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      Nell Rose 5 years ago from England

      Hi Attikos, hes actually American, and wants to come over here to England, same thing I would imagine. luckily I am two things. not stupid, and broke! haha! in other words I would never fall for it, and second I have nothing to offer as I am out of work. He will have to start again! and yes I am sure he will find one somewhere, that's the sad part, thanks so much for reading, nell

    • Nell Rose profile image
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      Nell Rose 5 years ago from England

      Hi Skeety, thanks so much, maybe he did it to others too, not sure about that, but as far as I am concerned I am not a follower any longer! I don't like people who presume something, its my choice whether I like someone or not, I hate it when I get pushed, thanks so much for reading, nell

    • Attikos profile image

      Attikos 5 years ago from East Cackalacky

      If you ever get to the bottom of this, you'll likely find the man is seeking a way to achieve United States residency status and was pushing too hard to get you to serve as his tool for doing it. The sad part is he'll probably keep rolling the dice until he finds some lonely, vulnerable woman who'll take him in.

    • Nell Rose profile image
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      Nell Rose 5 years ago from England

      Hi Terrye, thanks for your help, I was getting a bit jumpy there last night! lol! and thanks, I was going to bed then this hub just shot out of my fingers onto the page so to speak! lol! if I get any more problems I will come get the high kicking thump on the nose terrye to sort it out for me! haha! thanks!

    • Nell Rose profile image
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      Nell Rose 5 years ago from England

      Hi Deborah, so true, maybe the names though are safe as long as we don't give out address's, home towns and emails, fingers crossed of course! lol! thanks for reading, nell

    • Nell Rose profile image
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      Nell Rose 5 years ago from England

      Hi mary, older than dirt? lol! I am not that far behind you there mary! its good to have a reminder sometimes that we need to double check who or what we follow and give our names too, but I hope he gets the picture! lol! thanks as always mary, nell

    • Nell Rose profile image
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      Nell Rose 5 years ago from England

      Hi linda, yes it did give me the creeps a bit. Apart from being angry I did sit back and think, did I encourage him? 'er no, was the answer! so it seems these days just being polite is too much to ask without someone thinking they can take it further, thanks so much for reading, nell

    • Nell Rose profile image
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      Nell Rose 5 years ago from England

      Thanks RTalloni, yes time brings complacency, is that the saying? lol! we are on here for such a long time we get complacent, thanks for reading, nell

    • Nell Rose profile image
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      Nell Rose 5 years ago from England

      Hi innerspin, yes we adults can be forgetful sometimes like me, we presume that we can trust someone but its not always the case, thanks so much for reading, nell

    • Nell Rose profile image
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      Nell Rose 5 years ago from England

      Hi John, yes I did try to keep the spammers etc away, and check out whether they can spell etc, I did in fact get rid of a few just recently, but this one, like a boomerang just kept coming back. I also wrote about my home town that I was born in, but have deleted it now, makes me so mad! but I don't want people out there knowing where I used to live as my relatives are still there, so bang went a good hub and photos, I may put it somewhere else under another name, thanks so much for reading and your feedback, nell

    • Nell Rose profile image
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      Nell Rose 5 years ago from England

      Hi avian, that's it exactly, at least the good thing about it is that I am now checking and double checking who I follow etc, not on here so much but much more on facebook. We just sit there and accept a follow request, now I have gone through it and got rid of about 10 people I have no idea who they are, seems my age doesn't stop stupid! lol!

    • aviannovice profile image

      Deb Hirt 5 years ago from Stillwater, OK

      Anything can happen on the internet. One never knows who is out there to try to prey upon others.

    • John MacNab profile image

      John MacNab 5 years ago from the banks of the St. Lawrence

      In reply to mary615's remark about someone not being interested because she is 'older than dirt' - don't believe it, trust me. I'm sorry to hear about your problems Nell, and I must admit I'm shocked. I've assumed that most writers on Hubpages are friendly and when I receive these 'so and so is following you' comments, I check out the so and so first to make sure it isn't just a spam comment. - and I shouldn't admit this, as it shows my bias and could be construed as some kind of 'ism - if the so and so can't spell or doesn't understand grammar, I delete the said so and so immediately.

      It took me a long time to realise that your given name should never be online - in fact it seems to take me ages and ages just to find an online pseudonym.

      You surprised me with your 'don't give out your home town' comment, as mckbirdbks suggested to me a few weeks back that one way to get more readers was to take photos of my hometown and promote it on Hubpages.

      Thanks for the hub, Nell. It put things in perspective again just when I was thinking of expanding and saying who I was/is/used to be/

    • innerspin profile image

      innerspin 5 years ago from uk

      Gosh, Nell, what an uncomfortable experience for you. I had a pretty odd response one time, deleted it, and fortunately nothing else came through. There's so much talk of keeping children safe on the net, the same thing's true for everybody. Great advice in your hub, thanks.

    • RTalloni profile image

      RTalloni 5 years ago from the short journey

      Important topic--so sorry you had to deal with such a thing. Not realizing that privacy is g-o-n-e once we go online is a mistake, but an easy one to make.

    • lindacee profile image

      lindacee 5 years ago from Arizona

      That's the main problem with any kind of social networking. I agree -- the less you divulge of a personal nature, the better off you'll be. Hope things have calmed down for you. I can imagine it is quite disturbing to be stalked online. Thanks for sharing your experience with us.

    • mary615 profile image

      Mary Hyatt 5 years ago from Florida

      I had a lot to learn when I first started writing here. We like to think that everyone here is "buddy-buddy", and we can share our real names, etc. I avoid using real names in my Hubs when writing about personal experiences. Also, I never thought about not using our real name on our profile. I'll delete mine.

      I guess when a man reads my profile, he will see that I am older than dirt, and he wouldn't be interested in this old Granny!

      Great Hub, good advice to all of us here. I voted this UP, and I will share with my followers.

    • DeborahNeyens profile image

      Deborah Neyens 5 years ago from Iowa

      Thanks for sharing your experience with us, Nell, so we can all learn from it. Those of us who write under our real names should be extra careful. This is a good reminder.

    • TToombs08 profile image

      Terrye Toombs 5 years ago from Somewhere between Heaven and Hell without a road map.

      Nell, my bell, I am so sorry you had to go through this. Your stalker had some nerve. But then again, most of 'those types' seldom have touch with any kind of 'reality.' I do have to give you a HUGE pat on the back for creating a fantastic way to take a horrible experience and turn it into a lesson we can all learn from.

    • SkeetyD profile image

      SkeetyD 5 years ago from Barbados

      I can't believe that actually happened on Hubpages. I know there are some strange and frankly vile people in the community but now we have to add downright crazy to that list. I'm sorry this happened to you and anyone else that experienced a similar situation.

    • Nell Rose profile image
      Author

      Nell Rose 5 years ago from England

      Hi clark! still wearing your hat and T shirt! lol! nice to see you. Yes I am batting down the hatches so to speak! mentally I mean! lol! sorry its taken me a while to get back to your site, glad of the reminder, nell

    • Nell Rose profile image
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      Nell Rose 5 years ago from England

      Thanks Irc, glad you found it helpful, nell

    • Nell Rose profile image
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      Nell Rose 5 years ago from England

      Hi jp, yes very creepy, if he keeps on I will name and shame him, but not yet, I will give him the benefit of the doubt first, thanks nell

    • Nell Rose profile image
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      Nell Rose 5 years ago from England

      Hi Denise, thanks so much, hope so, I just couldn't believe it when I read his message, talk about bold! lol! thanks, nell

    • Nell Rose profile image
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      Nell Rose 5 years ago from England

      Hi Petra, yes me too, I think the facebook requests are so easy to accept, we have to remember that they are real people, its easy to forget that, thanks so much for reading, and nice to see you, nell

    • Nell Rose profile image
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      Nell Rose 5 years ago from England

      HI cc, thanks for reading, nell

    • Nell Rose profile image
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      Nell Rose 5 years ago from England

      Hi barbara, yes that's so true, I will definitely be careful in future who I follow, thanks so much, nell

    • Nell Rose profile image
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      Nell Rose 5 years ago from England

      Thanks billy, it got a bit hairy there! now I just feel so annoyed at his continued harassment. I am not interested, in the slightest in fact. wish people could just understand that the internet is just for writing and making a few friends when its reciprocated, thanks as always, nell

    • Nell Rose profile image
      Author

      Nell Rose 5 years ago from England

      Hi Dana, yes reported it last night, and cut him of facebook etc. I am really annoyed at him to be honest, I didn't mind being a hub follower and reading his stuff, he should realise that this is just for writing, you can't push a friendship because of a few, 'Thats a great hub' comments! thanks for reading, nell

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      Nell Rose 5 years ago from England

      Hi midget, that's a good idea, I did write my name to start with, but didn't feel comfortable, good thing I removed it! thanks for reading, nell

    • Jools99 profile image

      Jools99 5 years ago from North-East UK

      Nell, great hub. Sorry to hear you've had some unwanted attention - this advice will be useful to all of us.

    • Nell Rose profile image
      Author

      Nell Rose 5 years ago from England

      Hi Jackie, thanks so much, he is just not listening, well he better had now, I can't be bothered with it anymore! lol!

    • Jackie Lynnley profile image

      Jackie Lynnley 5 years ago from The Beautiful South

      Man, been there, done that, lol and it is not fun! Hope it turns out alright for you. It was really embarrassing for me and you do hate to hurt feelings but sheee. Great thing to write about and bring to light!

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      Gina145 5 years ago from South Africa

      I'm sorry this happened to you, but thankfully you seem to have the whole situation under control.

      When I signed up for HubPages recently, I debated whether or not to write under my real name. Now I know I did the right thing.

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      CMHypno 5 years ago from Other Side of the Sun

      There are some very strange people out there Nell, and unfortunately the internet is giving them a platform where they can show the rest of us just how weird they really are! Sorry you have been stalked, but just shows that the less personal stuff you reveal the better.

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      Rich 5 years ago from Kentucky

      Nell - Well, I'm damn glad I didn't waste the money on a plane ticket! lol Seriously, life is strange to say the least, especially in web land. I don't believe I'd ever have a beauty show up at my door, but if I did, I'd probably be as frustrated as you. Some people have such pathetic lives that the web is the only source of reality they have, and they forget it's not true reality. Great advice, and thanks for saving me the price of airfare! : )

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      Anne 5 years ago from Spain

      Hi Nell. Crikey, this is serious and has made me much more aware of what I need to do and not do when writing. I never even thought of responding to emails via a different address to keep bank details etc safe, great tip for the future. I hope your stalker has now backed off, it must have felt really creepy.

    • clark farley profile image

      clark farley 5 years ago

      (unfortunately) a good and timely Post. Sad that the very qualities and aspects that make 'the life virtual' so interesting and appealing can be so misused and hurtful.

      Stay safe, this is too a good thing/experience/place to allow the haters and the deluded to prevail.

    • lrc7815 profile image

      Linda Crist 5 years ago from Central Virginia

      You have done all of us a favor by sharing your story and these great tips. Thanks!

    • jpcmc profile image

      JP Carlos 5 years ago from Quezon CIty, Phlippines

      That's creepy! Thanks for the reminder that we should never let our guard down. Be safe always.

    • Denise Handlon profile image

      Denise Handlon 5 years ago from North Carolina

      well, since I use my name when I write I won't be deleting it anywhere, but I haven't had any propositions while writing here, thank goodness. I'm so sorry you experienced this. You've given everyone great tips to remember while dealing with internet interactions. If he has not already gotten the hint, I'm sure he will when he sees this hub! Rated up/U

    • Petra Vlah profile image

      Petra Vlah 5 years ago from Los Angeles

      Hi Nell,

      It is scary out there in the cyber world! I thought HP was safer than that, but now you got me thinking. I am concerned about privacy and most of the Face Book requests will go unanswered, unless I recognize the name.

      Thank you for sharing, Nell you are great

    • cclitgirl profile image

      Cynthia Sageleaf 5 years ago from Western NC

      You can never be too safe. Thanks for sharing your experience with us and so sorry this is happening to you. :\

    • go-barbara-go profile image

      go-barbara-go 5 years ago

      Nell, these are warped (ugly, alienated, crooked) images of people online, trapped in their own labyrinth and they would want others to feel the same. Truly, hair-raising!

      Thanks for the tips.

    • billybuc profile image

      Bill Holland 5 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Nell, I am really sorry this happened to you. Thank you for warning everyone; this is a valuable piece of information that everyone needs to pay attention to. Great job!

    • DanaTeresa profile image

      Dana Strang 5 years ago from Ohio

      Excellent advice. I think people forget that this online world is just as real as the local one we live in. We need to be safe and look out for ourselvs. Thank you for reminding us of that.

      I hope you have resolved your situation with the ubpleasant hubber. I really think that some people get caught up in the romance of the writing and they feellike they connect in odd ways. Being online makes that easier to do. Best to cut off any private communication the second it gets uncomfortable and report any that goes to far.

      Hugs! Take care! :)

    • midget38 profile image

      Michelle Liew 5 years ago from Singapore

      May he definitely do so, Nell. Am going to be like Lovedoctor and remove my name from my profile too. Thanks for the reminder!

    • Nell Rose profile image
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      Nell Rose 5 years ago from England

      Hi steph, thanks so much, yes I hope that it stops here, I will give him the benefit of the doubt, fingers crossed!

    • Nell Rose profile image
      Author

      Nell Rose 5 years ago from England

      Thanks Mhatter, yes sometimes we have to sit back and try to keep out of it, thanks for reading, nell

    • stephhicks68 profile image

      Stephanie Hicks 5 years ago from Bend, Oregon

      Wow - scary stuff! I usually feel bad when I don't respond to emails via HubPages, but this hub just confirmed that its the right thing to do.

      Very important topic that we should all keep in mind. Thank you for sharing your experiences, Nell. I hope that all goes well and you do not suffer any more harassment. Best, Steph