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An Auto-Interview With Chris Desatoff

Updated on April 17, 2016

Hey.

I’ve been on HubPages for about 2 ½ years now (formerly known as chrisinhawaii). I went away for a while to just focus on my own blogs and niche sites, but then I sorta came back and started going at it again. On again, off again.

I’ve gained some great friends through the HubPages community, folks who I continued to interact with on other sites and blogs after going on hiatus. Through our mini conversations on blogs and social media, we've caught glimpses of each other's personality, character, and life stories, yet, I don't think I ever really did one of those “all about me” types of hubs.

I guess now is the time.

Sometimes, cartoonist and blogger Chris Desatoff likes to interview himself, and that is not weird or anything.
Sometimes, cartoonist and blogger Chris Desatoff likes to interview himself, and that is not weird or anything.

Wait...So You're Interviewing Yourself?

Yep.

And...

AaAnNdD...

I'm not crazy.

They have auto-biographies, right? And that’s not weird or anything. So why not do a kind of auto-interview where I ask myself some questions? That’s like…totally normal and in no way implies that I spend way too much time by myself in front of my laptop.

Actually, another writer here on HubPages – Jennifer Arnett (aka Availiasvision) -- suggested these self-interviews as a writing prompt, as a way to introduce ourselves (or re-introduce ourselves) to other hubbers and build our community. Here’s her original challenge hub here:

Interview Yourself: A Writer's Challenge

It sounded like a pretty fun idea to me, so here I am.

How It Works

So in her writers challenge, Jennifer talked about a show called Actor’s Studio where successful actors are brought in to do an interview, and the host of the show always asks each guest the exact same interview questions. I’ve included those questions first.

But then Jennifer added in some unique questions of her own, so I’ve also answered those in the “Challenging Questions” section further down.

I hope you enjoy my totally-not-weird little self-interview! =)

Feel free to join me in the comments section way down at the bottom for a few snacks and refreshments afterwards.

That’s what people do after interviews, right? Well, I’ll be there anyway, munching on Cheez-Its…

ACTORS STUDIO QUESTIONS...

What is your favorite word?

“EXCELSIOR!”

Old-time Marvel Comics boss man Stan Lee always ended his letters pages with “Excelsior!” as his signature/tagline. It’s odd, since I never in my life used that word. But that’s what came to mind as a favorite word =)

What is your least favorite word?

Any racial, gender, religious, sexual, or other slur intentionally used with contempt. So the words themselves don’t actually offend me; hell, sometimes they make great punchlines when used in good humor. It’s more about the context and intention with which they’re used.

Some folks will always find certain words to be offensive. But bitch, please…sometimes slurs are funny to me. =)

Just depends how they’re being used.

What turns you on creatively, spiritually or emotionally?

Sex. =P

What turns you off creatively, spiritually or emotionally?

Haters, especially the know-it-all types who look down their noses at you and smile while insulting you and then act shocked when you get upset. These are the kinds of trolls that really make my blood boil. And every time that I exchange words with one of them, I always end up regretting it.

It’s pointless.

So then I swear to myself that I will not waste any more of my precious time and energy on people like that ever again.

But then I do it again.

Grrrr…

What sound or noise do you love?

The free radio station Jazz Chill on iTunes Radio. Every song they play makes me feel groovy, baby.

What sound or noise do you hate?

Bug noises.

Especially bugs that make buzzy sounds.

Any bugs that make buzzy sounds creep me out.

Crickets I can handle, but bumblebees and stuff like that…shejE{lcepfxxxlll-blechh…

I feel icky just typing about it.

What is your favorite curse word?

Bitch, please. Do you even have to ask?

What profession other than your own would you like to attempt?

Well, I’m still attempting my own profession haha, but besides writing and art I always thought it would be pretty cool to be a bodybuilder. Most people think big, veiny muscles are gross, but I always wanted to get me some 20-inch cannons.

What profession would you not like to do?

Cop or soldier.

No matter how well you do your job, no matter how high your level of honesty, integrity and selflessness…some of the very people you have sworn to protect are gonna judge you and hate you and spit on you.

Plus, death is lurking around every corner.

I don’t really like jobs where death is lurking around every corner.

If Heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when you arrive at the Pearly Gates?

“Hey Chris, I was just kidding about all that HELL stuff. Look…everybody’s up here! EVERYBODY!”

AVAILIASVISION'S CHALLENGING QUESTIONS…

In the film version of your autobiography, who would you like to play yourself?

Steve Harvey, because apparently my wife thinks Steve Harvey is the coolest, smartest, sexiest man on the planet.

What quality or talent do you wish you could cultivate?

The ability to walk right past a fresh, hot, deep dish pizza without even touching it.

Who is your favorite fictional character ever?

Captain Jack Sparrow. Savvy?

If you could have the career of any author, who would it be?

I don’t really follow along with author’s careers, so I have no clue who to name. But if there’s a writer out there who actually makes enough money to pay his bills without being a sellout, then I’d like to have that guy’s career.

What inspires you?

People who are awesome but are too humble and real to even know it.

When did you first realize you were a writer?

I still don’t think of myself as a writer. I mean, I write stuff, and I even make some money at it, but no matter what anybody says, I still feel weird calling myself a writer.

Bye, thanks for reading.  Don't forget the Cheez-Its...
Bye, thanks for reading. Don't forget the Cheez-Its...

Thanks to writer Bill Holland (aka billybuc) for participating in this writing challenge and writing his own self-interview. That's how I found out about it.

Comments

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    • YouGet1Shot profile image
      Author

      Chris Desatoff 20 months ago from USA

      @paintdrips

      True.

      But in my defense, at the time I wrote this hub, I had not yet experience the pleasure of being a paid cartoonist.

      So...

      =)

    • PAINTDRIPS profile image

      Denise McGill 20 months ago from Fresno CA

      I think this interview idea is awesome. How come I never heard about it? Now I simply must do it. I loved learning about what inspires you/turns you on creatively, but come on... you said in another hub that getting paid for your cartoon was even better than sex... so....

      Blessings,

      Denise

    • David Trujillo profile image

      David Trujillo Uribe 2 years ago from Medellin, Colombia

      Hehe! that was fun.

      I once wrote a story inspired on a walk I took, some personal retrospection.. but Hubpages said it wasn´t bringing any traffic and they un-featured it. So I do not do free-writing any more.

    • shanmarie profile image

      shanmarie 2 years ago

      Very interesting! Jack Sparrow and Steve Harvey. . .so far apart from one another that I find it amusing. Of course, there's a big difference between fact and fiction.

    • lawdoctorlee profile image

      Liza Treadwell Esq aka Liza Lugo JD 2 years ago from New York, NY

      Awesome, YouGet1Shot! Loved learning more about you. Definitely makes me want to read your other hubs as a way of getting to know you. Your humor is right on point. I, too, have a hard time walking away from pizza...no, let me rephrase, I absolutely cannot walk away from pizza...ever. Perfect answer to what you want to hear at the Pearly Gates - that everyone is there! So glad that a number of us took Jen up on her challenge to interview ourselves. What a cool project :-) May the new year bring you many blessings.

    • mothersofnations profile image

      Mothers of Nations 2 years ago

      Very funny! I definitely enjoyed reading this! Needed the laugh today :)

      This is what stood out to me most: “EXCELSIOR!” lol I have no idea why but it definitely came out comic-y in my own mind lol

      I look forward to reading more. God bless...

    • YouGet1Shot profile image
      Author

      Chris Desatoff 2 years ago from USA

      @ Availiasvision Well thank you =) It's good to be back!

    • Availiasvision profile image

      Jennifer Arnett 2 years ago from California

      I didn't know that Chrisinhawaii had been resurrected. Welcome back! Jack Sparrow is the man. Love the cartoons.

    • YouGet1Shot profile image
      Author

      Chris Desatoff 2 years ago from USA

      Yeah, there's a lot of great platforms out there, and I wish I'd had the foresight to create one username for all of them. Seems a little late to change it though haha.

    • Jo_Goldsmith11 profile image

      Jo_Goldsmith11 2 years ago

      Hello!

      Okay I have to start with your favorite cuss word! "Bitch..please"..

      oh my goodness, I was laughing hysterically! My sister who is 7 years older than me says this constantly! She wears it out sometimes!

      So I just loved that. As far the inspiration...you definitely are awesome and you appear through your amazing words and honesty to *humble to realize it!*

      A pleasure to meet you. :-)

      Stay cool, you, da man! :-)

      Up, shared and face book! :-)

    • Pro Shell profile image

      Pro Shell 2 years ago from Vereinigten Staaten

      I've been busy on Bubblews, ever since I started in July I've put up over 1000 posts.

      It's cool to be around on a lot of different sites, it makes you a better community member if you can maintain a single identity across platforms

    • YouGet1Shot profile image
      Author

      Chris Desatoff 2 years ago from USA

      Hello Pro Shell,

      Yeah, I just started hanging out here again. I'm thinking I'll add some more posts on here and see how they do, but I'll pop back in on Bubblews here and there too. Good to see you here =)

    • YouGet1Shot profile image
      Author

      Chris Desatoff 2 years ago from USA

      Hi Ruby, I'm glad you enjoyed my little cartoon =) Hopefully, I'll have more to follow before too long.

    • Pro Shell profile image

      Pro Shell 2 years ago from Vereinigten Staaten

      This is pretty impressive.

      I've followed your Youtube channel, but I had no clue you were active here.

      Thanks for sharing all this information

    • Ruby H Rose profile image

      Maree Michael Martin 2 years ago from Northwest Washington on an Island

      Funny, funny, funny. I totally love this. I read about the interview idea too. This awesome cartoon page of yours is right up my alley of inspiration. (I like how everybody is still hanging around with the same great everybody's on the other side of them pearly gates.)

    • YouGet1Shot profile image
      Author

      Chris Desatoff 2 years ago from USA

      Hey, thanks John. Nice to meet you too. I'll come on over and check our your interview challenge too.

    • Jodah profile image

      John Hansen 2 years ago from Queensland Australia

      This was a great interview Chris. the funniest I have read. I didn't know you before, now I do. Always good to meet someone else interested in cartooning. and with a sense of humour. I can appreciate not liking bug noises. I especially hate that in bed in the dark at night when you can't see what is making the buzzy noise. Voted up.

    • YouGet1Shot profile image
      Author

      Chris Desatoff 2 years ago from USA

      Thank you, Manuuela. I had a fun time doing it. Are you going to be doing one too? It seems like a great way to make friends with other hubbers.

    • YouGet1Shot profile image
      Author

      Chris Desatoff 2 years ago from USA

      Hey hey, Bill, thank you very much. Isn't it funny how we can know each other for a couple years, but not really know? Haha, well, I'm glad to be getting to know you too, man. In fact, I FINALLY read through your ebook last night (the one I downloaded over a year ago but never started). Life choices. I enjoyed it, and thank you for writing it.

      Anyway, one big, virtual hug comin' atcha!

      ((((billybuc))))

      Aloha, my friend. =)

    • ManuuelaEmmanuel profile image

      KEMEI EMMANUEL 2 years ago from NYERI KENYA

      The interview is really awesome. I have gained knowledge about interview.

    • billybuc profile image

      Bill Holland 2 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Well my friend, you are welcome. Now, about the interview....I learned more about you in the last five minutes than I've known in what, two years or so? I'm glad you did this...I like you more than I did, and I already thought highly of you.

      Aloha my friend

      bill