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My Neighbor Is Like Mrs. Kravitz
Nosey Neighbors we all have one or had one sometime in our life. It is the person that is all up in your kool-aid and doesn't have any clue on the flavor. It is the person that will follow you around like a lost puppy to find out what is going on exactly in your life. They are not satisfied until they get information , in which you kindly say " It Ain't None Of Your Business!" You are outside weeding your yard and they will slow down and come to an almost abrupt stop to see what you are planting, or better yet what you are wearing. They peep over your fence like Mr. Wilson when you are in your birthday suit sun bathing by your pool and when you notice them and wave, they break their neck trying to crawl down from the chair that they are on. Go ahead grab your newspaper in your nice fleecy white robe ,as the peeping Mrs. Kravitz has her blinds cracked open to see what you are grabbing!! "Hi Mrs.Kravitz!!" you say in your early morning sexy voice, and wave.The blinds lickity-slip snap shut and you find yourself wanting to flash her but what the hell, the pervert across the street may enjoy it to. Leaving for the grocery store? Oh no, can't do that , as all of a sudden you find yourself hitting your brakes and hear a tap-tap on your window. "Hi.are you going to the store?", she asks as she is trying to poke her neck into your driver window, and watch her eyes zoom around as if she is looking for something , that you are hiding from here. "I am going to the store, what is that you need?" I ask, getting ready to pop her bozo the clown nose. Would I really do it? Of course not I am a lover not a fighter but it certainly sounds great. She replies, " Oh never mind , I can't remember what I needed." At this point my head spins like Linda Blair in the "Exorcist as I release my foot from the brake. What in the hell is wrong with that woman I say to myself. Nosey, Nosey, just plain Nosey! Returning from the story , she waves you down , "Now what?" I say to myself. "Yes, what it is it?" "What happened?" I pull into my drive, open the garage and bolt through the house to the back door. "Damn It." I yelled I forgot to turn the hose off and the pool over-filled. The entire yard is flooded, oh God my husband is going to kill me! I turn off the water and peep over the fence, "Thank You, Mrs.Kravitz for letting me know what happened." Now that killed me, nosey as she is she certainly looked out for me. The next time she peers over my fence I will ignore it because maybe just maybe she wasn't being really nosey, she was just making certain that I wasn't damaging my skin.
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