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What I Would Say To My Ex

Updated on February 18, 2013

Without You...I Wouldn't Have Them

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I Would Say Thank You

What would I say to my ex? When I saw today’s 30 in 30 topic, I almost decided not to write today. What could I write that would be printable? But it made me think. And think.

What I would say to my ex might be unexpected. I was not the happiest person in the world when I left him. But I guess if I was happy I wouldn’t have left him!

I would say “Thank you!”

Thank you for making me a stronger person. I started our marriage shy and quiet and didn’t know what I wanted out of life. Through our marriage I became more outgoing, learned how to give my opinion, went back to school and found my dream job.

I have two beautiful daughters who gave me an awesome grandson and beautiful granddaughter, with another grandbaby on the way soon. Throughout the years, I had many great times with my daughters – long drives through country roads, movies on most weekends and fun out at my mom’s house. I had a great relationship with both of my daughters because of those long drives. Together we learned how to have fun without spending much money. The dollar movies were a lifesaver for us! If you had been a better father, I wouldn’t have had a chance to be that close to my daughters.

I went back to school, while running a day care and working at the library at school and working as a paraprofessional at a couple of different school. All of this gave me the experience I needed to follow through with school to become a teacher – a profession I had wanted all of my life. If you had kept your jobs, we wouldn’t have been on state assistance and I never would have been able to pay for school.

Thank you for treating me the way you did. I learned not to take guff from anyone. I became stronger. It gave me a chance to learn how to deal with difficult people. Sometimes as a teacher of children with special needs I work with parents who don’t want to accept the diagnosis of their child. With you, I learned how not to treat people. I learned to treat people the way I wanted to be treated, and not like a piece of dirt with no feelings.

I want to say thank you for being the way you were. You showed me what I really wanted in a man. You made it possible for me to leave you and to find the wonderful man I am now married to. Because I married him, I gained two more wonderful kids, a son and a daughter. I got to have another wonderful grandson and another wonderful grandbaby on the way.

So, thank you for being you. Without you being the way you were and treating me the way you treated me, I wouldn’t be the person I am today. I wouldn’t have the wonderful family I have today. I wouldn’t have my wonderful grandbabies and my wonderful job.

It took a while, but I finally have the life I always wanted. Thanks to you.

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    • Rochelle Frank profile image

      Rochelle Frank 

      5 years ago from California Gold Country

      This was a good one, and I have known others in the same situation. I know I commented before.

      I would not have been able to write on this topic, since I've never had an ex. I have thought about having one a couple of times-- but 50+ years is a big investment.

    • justateacher profile imageAUTHOR

      LaDena Campbell 

      5 years ago from Somewhere Over The Rainbow - Near Oz...

      Becky- I wanted to skip this one but then he would win again...couldn't let that happen!

    • Rfordin profile image

      Rfordin 

      5 years ago from Florida

      Kind of sums up my first marriage as well. I give you massive kudos for being able to write something up like this with class and composure.

      I probably would have "skipped" the assignment out of fear I would not be able to control myself.

      Thanks for sharing.

      ~Becky

    • justateacher profile imageAUTHOR

      LaDena Campbell 

      5 years ago from Somewhere Over The Rainbow - Near Oz...

      Cathy...you just have to dwell on your children and see those positive things for them...if you can't then you have lived through all if it for nothing...if you can learn from it...if your children can learn from it...then it was all worth it...something good will come from it...good luck on your journey!

    • Cathy Fidelibus profile image

      Ms. Immortal 

      5 years ago from NJ

      I am just in awe by your hub. You are certainly an enlightened woman.

      It seems that I am going through now, what you have already been through. It's nice to see you have come out the other end so magnificently.

      Finally I am divorced after 2 1/2 years. I have rewritten (am still writing) all the nasty things my x has done to me and my three boys in the past and presently; looking for the gifts, which are always there.

      This can be an overwhelming task because the nasty things just keep on coming. In spite of it all, I have learned a lot and have grown as a person in many ways.

      I agree those $1.00 movies are a life saver!

      Thanks for sharing.

      Voted up and shared.

    • justateacher profile imageAUTHOR

      LaDena Campbell 

      5 years ago from Somewhere Over The Rainbow - Near Oz...

      Midget...thanks for reading and for sharing!

    • midget38 profile image

      Michelle Liew 

      5 years ago from Singapore

      I takes a lot to be able to see things from another perspective. Kudos to you for seeing the positive in this and how it can make you stronger! Thanks for being so frank about your experience as well. God bless and have a blessed Christmas! Sharing!

    • justateacher profile imageAUTHOR

      LaDena Campbell 

      5 years ago from Somewhere Over The Rainbow - Near Oz...

      Thank you mizjo! I hope some others can take some positive from this, as well!

    • mizjo profile image

      mizjo 

      5 years ago from New York City, NY

      'Take that and swallow it!' Wow! Many other women would have been broken and trashed after a husband like that. Thank God you were strong and proud, you came out victorious. I bet that wasn't the result he was aiming at.

      Now you have the happiness you strived for and deserve. This is a great hub. Every woman going through a rotten marriage should read it and take heart that she can be a winner.

    • B. Leekley profile image

      Brian Leekley 

      5 years ago from Kalamazoo, Michigan, USA

      Life is like that. Misfortune can be a stepping stone to good fortune. I have heard similar stories about divorce among my relations and friends. I have not been through that, but I have had setbacks that turned out to be leaps forward in my life.

    • justateacher profile imageAUTHOR

      LaDena Campbell 

      5 years ago from Somewhere Over The Rainbow - Near Oz...

      Catgypsy...thanks for reading! I love the life I have now!

    • catgypsy profile image

      catgypsy 

      5 years ago from the South

      Sometimes the bad things in our life teach us the most...if we're smart enough to learn, which you obviously were. Very interesting hub. I'm glad you have the life you want now.

    • justateacher profile imageAUTHOR

      LaDena Campbell 

      5 years ago from Somewhere Over The Rainbow - Near Oz...

      Thank you Frank....that one felt good to get off my chest....and I can do that thanks to my wonderful family!

    • Frank Atanacio profile image

      Frank Atanacio 

      5 years ago from Shelton

      very good justateacher lol and you point out that without your ex you wouldn't have the family you dearly love bless you :)

    • justateacher profile imageAUTHOR

      LaDena Campbell 

      5 years ago from Somewhere Over The Rainbow - Near Oz...

      Rochelle - If you look for the silver (or golden) lining you don't see the dark clouds! Thanks for reading!

    • Rochelle Frank profile image

      Rochelle Frank 

      5 years ago from California Gold Country

      Wow! You certainly do see the golden lining of each dark cloud.

      I'm glad to know you are" justateacher". You have learned a lot and have a lot to teach.

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