I'd like feedback on my Hub: The Four Best Hospitals in Pakistan

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   Hamza Afzalposted 8 years ago

   Hi Hubbers,
   
   I'd like some help with passing the Quality Assessment Process. Will you please give feedback on my Hub The Four Best Hospitals in Pakistan. What can I do to improve? Thanks!

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      Chris Tylerposted 8 years agoin reply to this

      Just from looking at the first paragraph, there are a number of errors. You missed capitalizing the first word of a sentence (it should be "Now we create a list..."), you're missing a lot of punctuation, and your large numbers are inconsistent and clunky (4,478.5 billion should be 4.4 trillion).
      
      The paragraphs in your list should be broken up a little more but other than that your article seems fine to me.

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         Hamza Afzalposted 8 years agoin reply to this

         Thankyou very much for the help.

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2. 78

   Rupert Taylorposted 8 years ago

   Page does not exist.

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      Hamza Afzalposted 8 years agoin reply to this

      Sorry for the wait. Check it again

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3. 31

   Hamza Afzalposted 8 years ago

   It's working fine. Please check again

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4. 78

   Rupert Taylorposted 8 years ago

   There are some grammar and other issues with this Hub.
   
   Here is one long, run-on sentence.
   "now we create a list of four best hospitals in Pakistan which provide free medical facilities to the underprivileged community as the population of Pakistan rapidly increasing & due to this government is unable to provide healthcare facility to everyone as there are 149201 registered doctors working in Pakistan which is not enough for the current population."
   
   This is how it might look with better-quality English:
   
   “Here is a list of the four best hospitals in Pakistan which provide free medical services to the underprivileged community. As the population of Pakistan is rapidly increasing the government is unable to provide health care to everyone. There are 149,201 registered doctors working in Pakistan but this is not enough for the current population.”
   
   I did not read your entire Hub, but I strongly suspect there are many other similar problems. Try running your text through a free program such as Grammarly or Hemingway to catch English language errors.
   
   You should never use the ampersand & in text, always spell it out.
   
   The large blocks of type need to be broken up into small paragraphs.
   
   I think you should put dollar values after rupees. Most people have an idea about how their local currency converts to dollar values but few will know what 100 rupees is worth.
   
   Do you have permission to use the images? They look as though they have been lifted from hospital websites and may be under copyright restrictions.

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      Hamza Afzalposted 8 years agoin reply to this

      Thankyou! I try to resolve this issues. Thanks again.

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   AshutoshJoshi06posted 8 years ago

   You may want to proofread the entire piece. There are a lot of grammatical errors - punctuation and sentence construction, right from the begining. Also try not to have too lenghty sentences.
   
   You've done well, keeping the article informational. Good luck with editing.

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      Hamza Afzalposted 8 years agoin reply to this

      Thanks for the guidance.

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