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Suggestions for changes to my article: Nikola Tesla

  1. Sudhir Devapalan profile image88
    Sudhir Devapalanposted 3 weeks ago

    Hi,

    I got a mail stating that I need to correct a few grammatical errors and provide the source for the content I had provided in order for it to be moved to Owlcation site. I had made the changes and would like to know if there are any more changes that need to be done to the article. I have also provided the source as a separate link at the bottom. Is that fine? Thanks in advance.

    https://hubpages.com/education/Nikola-Tesla-Inventor

  2. Jeremy Gill profile image96
    Jeremy Gillposted 2 weeks ago

    The link at the bottom is not only fine, it's very helpful for us. Here are suggestions:

    1) Remove the "our" in your first sentence: "When we think about great inventors, the first name that comes to our mind is Edison."

    2) Change "this" to "his" and add a comma after "school": "They stated that unless he was removed from this school Tesla would die of overwork."

    3) Alter this sentence: "But in late 1886, Tesla met Alfred S. Brown and New York attorney Charles F. Peck who were experienced in setting up companies agreed to fund Tesla."

    Suggestion: "But in late 1886, Tesla met Alfred S. Brown and New York attorney Charles F. Peck, who were experienced in setting up companies, and agreed to fund Tesla."

    4) Use commas rather than repetition of the word "and": "Westinghouse hired Tesla and licensed the patents for his AC motor and gave him his own lab"

    While not errors per se, I notice your writing style utilizes several short sentences, many of which could be combined to flow more naturally. Good luck.

    1. Sudhir Devapalan profile image88
      Sudhir Devapalanposted 2 weeks agoin reply to this

      Thanks that's very helpful..

  3. theraggededge profile image100
    theraggededgeposted 2 weeks ago

    I'm disappointed to find that most of your text is a thin rewrite of similar articles on the web. Therefore I'm surprised that it is even being considered for Owlcation... although you do know it has already been moved there, don't you?

    Can I suggest that next time, you write something original?

    1. Sudhir Devapalan profile image88
      Sudhir Devapalanposted 2 weeks agoin reply to this

      After the changes I made it was moved in a couple of days yes, this was posted before that. And I do not copy any content from other sites. But I don't think there is any other way to go around with historic facts. His work, date of birth and career cannot be changed just because I'm writing a new article. Those are facts which I do need to research and collect. The basic overview and thoughts on Tesla are the things that change.

      1. theraggededge profile image100
        theraggededgeposted 2 weeks agoin reply to this

        I agree, but there's nothing particularly original or different in your article. What are you adding that makes it unique? What else could you add? This is the problem with writing about common topics. And that leads to the issue of not attracting traffic because there are other more authoritative sites out there. How can you compete for traffic when Wikipedia (for all its faults) covers all that and more?

        1. Sudhir Devapalan profile image88
          Sudhir Devapalanposted 2 weeks agoin reply to this

          Normally Tesla is considered a mediocre scientist whereas Edison is considered to be like a God. As far as I know most people have this kind of perspective. I wanted to highlight Tesla's great achievements as well and his struggles with Edison. Tesla's own biography is already known as u had mentioned but his legacy is somewhat not understood clearly. I guess it wasn't very clear. I'll probably put more emphasis on my point of view going ahead.

          1. DrMark1961 profile image100
            DrMark1961posted 2 weeks agoin reply to this

            If you changed this to "Why Tesla was better than Edison" you might have a chance of getting some traffic. As it is written and titled, this article is going to get lost in the back pages of the search engine.

            1. Sudhir Devapalan profile image88
              Sudhir Devapalanposted 2 weeks agoin reply to this

              That's a good suggestion. I'll add it in the title and description as well.

              1. DrMark1961 profile image100
                DrMark1961posted 2 weeks agoin reply to this

                I look forward to reading it and will be sure to pass it along on social media. I read a long biography of Tesla several years ago and was impressed in how much better he was.

                1. Sudhir Devapalan profile image88
                  Sudhir Devapalanposted 2 weeks agoin reply to this

                  Thanks a lot. Ya a lot of his achievements have been forgotten and he deserves a lot more praise and respect.

 
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