I'd like feedback on my article: 4 Ways to Find Your True Life’s Passion

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   sarazposted 6 years ago

   Hi Hubbers,
   
   I'd like some help with passing the Quality Assessment Process. Will you please give feedback on my article? What can I do to improve? Thanks!
   Here is my article: 4 Ways to Find Your True Life’s Passion

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   1. 83

      theraggededgeposted 6 years agoin reply to this

      Hi there,
      
      Firstly, too many videos. They don't show for me because of my settings, so all I (and others with similar settings) see is large pink blocks. One is easy to ignore but six is just too much. So only one video is necessary in a short article unless the topic demands it.
      
      Images should be credited with the source and license. The 'Behavior Using Strengths' is difficult to read and has a massive typo in it. The brown one at the bottom is indecipherable.
      
      Proofread. What's a 'passionate layer'. In my country, a 'layer' is an egg-laying hen.
      
      Saying 'If you are good at computers you can be a successful person like Bill Gates, Mark Zuckerburg.' is a bit of an over-generalized statement. There are millions and millions of people who are 'good at computers'. They are not all going to rise to the top.
      
      You can't copy and past text and pass it off as your own writing. I know you say 'data is taken from...' but that text is not 'data'.
      
      The piece ends abruptly. You need a closing paragraph.
      
      To be perfectly honest, articles like this that promise the world are often plain annoying. There are zillions of them out there, usually written by people who haven't reached the pinnacle of success that they promise. I would happily read one written by someone who had reached the top and who had something new to tell me.
      
      Typing 'how to find your passion' into Google brings up 767 million results. And those on the first page are your competitors.
      
      It would be much better if you wrote material based on your experiences and knowledge as a civil engineer. What's it like doing your job? How can other girls do it? What major projects have you been involved in? What problems have you solved? How does critical thinking help you in your work?
      
      Sorry to be negative, but we see these life improvement articles all the time. I've written them myself However, the ones which garner the most traffic are those that answer a question or help people out in a practical sense.
      
      Good luck.

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