ArtsAutosBooksBusinessEducationEntertainmentFamilyFashionFoodGamesGenderHealthHolidaysHomeHubPagesPersonal FinancePetsPoliticsReligionSportsTechnologyTravel
  • »
  • HubPages Tutorials and Community

Squidoo is Out to Get You

Updated on June 6, 2014

Changes on Squidoo - Are They Out to Get Me?

Lately Squidoo has been implementing a lot of new changes that are shaking things up for lensmasters all over, combined with wild google search placement fluctuations and random lensrank crashes it's getting hard to tell - is Squidoo out to get us?

This is a humorous and sarcastic lens that looks at this very important question to expose the raw truth to all lensmasters and looks at how we can defend ourselves from these constant Squidoo attacks. Yes you may be surprised and shocked but please read on for your own good!

Obey Big Brother

Dealing With Change on Squidoo

Four Simple Rules for Coping

Squidoo has a policy of randomly creating new rules each month for no reason so we might as well get used to it. This lens will give 4 easy rules on how to deal with these complicated times. We will also find out if Squidoo is really out to get us and how!

Rule #1

When in doubt Panic!

When dealing with changes on Squidoo it is recommended that the first plan of action is to panic. Although you may not fully understand the change it is best to not waste any time and begin panicking right away. There will be time to sort out the reality of the situation later.

Rule #2

Keep it Personal

Keep in mind Squidoo mostly makes changes based on ways to purposely hurt individual lensmasters such as yourself so be very vocal and consider any changes as personal attacks. Although you may regret it later the forum is still a good place to air these grievances.

Rule #3

The Sky is Falling

Always assume the worst, wild speculation is your friend, don't look at what is happening but rather the worst that might possibly happen because it really could you know!

Rule #4

The Lensrank Puppetmasters Revealed

If your lensrank falls just remember it is never your fault, lensmasters have very little control over their pages so any changes should always be blamed on external factors.

Who will stop the tiers?

Visit the Panic Palace

Freak out at the Squid U Forum!

(It's actually pretty cool)

Lensmaster Poll

See results

Shocking Conclusion

Is Squidoo really out to get us?

Well it's hard to sugar coat it at this point - Yes Squidoo is out to get us!

As we always suspected, HQ can only succeed if lensmasters fail so always be on guard for their underhanded shenanigans!

When in doubt remember rule #1 and panic!!!

So what do you think, is Squidoo out to get us?

Any tips on new reasons to panic we may have been missing?

Feel free to leave your thoughts here :)

Lensmaster Feedback - Speak Up Here

    0 of 8192 characters used
    Post Comment

    • blestman lm profile image

      blestman lm 4 years ago

      Great Parody. Sometime it is easy to forget that it is in the best interest of Squidoo to line up with the best interest of the lensmasters -- even if we don't like change

    • profile image

      mockingbird999 4 years ago

      Funny. I love the pics of the aliens squids, or whatever those are. :)

    • profile image

      crazy4u2 5 years ago

      Worth visiting your lens. You have unique ways expressing yourself.

    • MelonyVaughan profile image

      MelonyVaughan 5 years ago

      Great lens! I love the way you explain everything here. I'm fairly new to Squidoo, but I must say that I've been fortunate in that every Squidoo member has been very kind and helpful to me.

    • Tugee profile image

      Tugee 5 years ago

      The Doctor Who pictures got me! I love this lens.

    • lclchors profile image

      lclchors 5 years ago

      Is big HQ watching this???? Love your lens especially the moving pictures are you really Hatty Potter

    • MamaRuth profile image

      MamaRuth 5 years ago

      Thanks for the laughs! (And I totally enjoyed the visual aspects of this lens).

    • goo2eyes lm profile image

      goo2eyes lm 5 years ago

      i am pretty sure that squidoo is checking whether a lensmaster is breaking the t.o.s. or not may she/he be a newbie or a giantsquid. giantsquids can be stripped of their giantsquid status. my rankings are falling because not so many squids are visiting my lenses. i got nothing to lose because my ranking is always tier 2 to 3. no reason to panic. at any rate, i am giving this lens a blessing for your courage to speak out.

    • profile image

      julieannbrady 5 years ago

      Oh dear ... it seems that I am late to the show ... this was just the amount of hilarity that I needed to end my Friday the 13th day. Thanks for the giggles.

    • profile image

      Jason Sositko 5 years ago

      I have never once thought Squidoo was out to get me personally, though I am 99% certain, Seth Godin is a member of the Illuminati and the Tri-lateral Commission.

    • profile image

      ideadesigns 5 years ago

      You are making me grin so big and have funny sounds coming out of my belly! Oh that's laughter! LOVE your humor, needed this.

    • profile image

      anonymous 5 years ago

      I am not paranoid, everyone is just out to get me ! LOL

    • DesignedbyLisa LM profile image

      DesignedbyLisa LM 5 years ago

      *laugh* I knew it!

      Thanks for giving me a laugh today. :)

    • Deadicated LM profile image

      Deadicated LM 5 years ago

      Now I know how calamari feels, in an Italian neighborhood on Christmas Eve. Lol

    • whodiesinthenew profile image

      whodiesinthenew 5 years ago

      Awesome! I knew it I knew it! LOL

    • Timewarp profile image
      Author

      Paul 5 years ago from Montreal

      @RaisedVegetableG: Thank you, sometimes it is important for experienced lensmasters to panic new users who may have been enjoying the site without knowing the dangers!

    • BLouw profile image

      Barbara Walton 5 years ago from France

      I love your little movies. Feeling nervous now!

    • CruiseReady profile image

      CruiseReady 5 years ago from East Central Florida

      Hysterical - love it! So, I am finally important enough for a corporation to expend time, energy, and plans on 'getting' me. Cool.

    • RaisedVegetableG profile image

      RaisedVegetableG 5 years ago

      I am so glad that I found this lens, as someone who is new to Squidoo I hadn't realised that Squidoo was out to get me already. It give me such a sense of significance in the world. I am going to try and put your tips into practice, adding one a day to my repertoire, starting of course with number one ... PANIC! (Oh thanks for the pictures which are very informative in knowing how to go about these things)

    • Anthony Altorenna profile image

      Anthony Altorenna 5 years ago from Connecticut

      I just got my 401K statement and I'm way past panic!

    • chezchazz profile image

      Chazz 5 years ago from New York

      Hilarious lens. As Shakespeare said, "Many a true word hath been spoken in jest."

    • Paul Ward profile image

      Paul 6 years ago from Liverpool, England

      I'm afraid Squidoo has already got us - the illusion that we're free to ask the question is part of the dastardly scheme.

    • Mickie Gee profile image

      Mickie Goad 6 years ago

      Thanks for making me smile. I must say that I fail miserably with rule #1. I rarely react to anything any more.

    • luvmyludwig lm profile image

      luvmyludwig lm 6 years ago

      I love this tongue in cheek lens....I am featuring it on my squid journal (currently being completely rewritten.) This is just what I was looking for!

    • linhah lm profile image

      Linda Hahn 6 years ago from California

      I saw this on Digg. It's giggly.

    • RhondaAlbom profile image

      Rhonda Albom 6 years ago from New Zealand

      LOL - love your sense of humor. Blessed by the Humor Angel (you can add a link to which ever plexo you think it best fits on my humor angel (/humor) lens.

    • Timewarp profile image
      Author

      Paul 6 years ago from Montreal

      @tvyps: That's the spirit!

    • Timewarp profile image
      Author

      Paul 6 years ago from Montreal

      @RickBasset: Thanks I hear 92 is the new 100 around here anyways!

    • tvyps profile image

      Teri Villars 6 years ago from Phoenix, Arizona

      Just because you're paranoid doesn't mean they aren't after you!

    • Amy Fricano profile image

      Amy Fricano 6 years ago from WNY

      love the vid

    • ChemKnitsBlog2 profile image

      ChemKnitsBlog2 6 years ago

      AHHH I forgot to start panicking!! Fun lens :)

    • RickBasset profile image

      RickBasset 6 years ago

      I'm 92% liking this...

    • sheilamarie78 profile image

      sheilamarie78 6 years ago

      I'm I'm I'm pppppppanicicking right now! I know how to follow rules!

    • WindyWintersHubs profile image

      WindyWintersHubs 6 years ago from Vancouver Island, BC

      Frankly...I've had enough! Maybe it's time to jump ship. :)

    • Timewarp profile image
      Author

      Paul 6 years ago from Montreal

      @BarbRad: Yup an easy 100% in a day but a good example of how internal traffic isn't enough. Highly doubt this lens will exceed tier 3 as this is an inside joke for lensmasters and has minor relevance to the general population (who already know to panic at any opportunity!)

    • BarbRad profile image

      Barbara Radisavljevic 6 years ago from Templeton, CA

      Heather, I imagine this lens will hit 100%, since it will get a lot of Squid likes, and it's already got lots of Giants. Just the fun I need after a frustrating day trying to research what I should buy to replace my dead Flip.

    • profile image

      anonymous 6 years ago

      I think Squidoo is also behind the whole Radiation thing, I am not coming out of my house, ever (well that does leave more time Squidooing!)

    • LisaDH profile image

      LisaDH 6 years ago

      Aha! So finally the truth comes out -- Seth and Megan are in cahoots with Ood and Achmed the Dead Terrorist. That explains everything!

    • TapIn2U profile image

      TapIn2U 6 years ago

      I'm not sure if I should laugh or get scared. Ok, so I was mostly laughing but I admit some of the photos are a bit creepy. A totally unique lens. Sundae ;-)

    • tandemonimom lm profile image

      tandemonimom lm 6 years ago

      How could one not love a lens with all the Ood on it!

    • Sylvestermouse profile image

      Cynthia Sylvestermouse 6 years ago from United States

      This is so funny and I am laughing so hard that even my dogs are hysterical. They don't even know what they are dancing around and barking for! I can't even write this for laughing so hard at the guy in the comments section. Such a great way to start my morning.

    • FanfrelucheHubs profile image

      Nathalie Roy 6 years ago from France (Canadian expat)

      Rule of thumb for any situation, on squidoo or elsewhere: When in doubt Panic! Excellent advice :)

    • annieangel1 profile image

      Ann 6 years ago from Yorkshire, England

      so funny

    • mysticmama lm profile image

      Bambi Watson 6 years ago

      Love the Ood images ~ Blessed >*

    • Heather426 profile image

      Heather Burns 6 years ago from Wexford, Ireland

      so funny, thanks for the 92% laugh.

    • Timewarp profile image
      Author

      Paul 6 years ago from Montreal

      @anonymous: Hey glad u enjoyed and thanks for being the first commenter/like :)

    • Timewarp profile image
      Author

      Paul 6 years ago from Montreal

      @lemonsqueezy lm: Is it coincidence that you like the most lemony one? :)

    • Timewarp profile image
      Author

      Paul 6 years ago from Montreal

      @Sabre1000: Thanks for the feedback, by popular demand Ood content has been doubled :)

    • Timewarp profile image
      Author

      Paul 6 years ago from Montreal

      @mrsquidoo: Heh, thanks for the vote of confidence but really this is a bit of an inside joke for lensmasters (especially the ones that use the forum) and it may just confuse the general public...then again these handy techniques can be used for dealing with change in any part of your life...you can always panic!

    • Timewarp profile image
      Author

      Paul 6 years ago from Montreal

      @anonymous: Hehe, thanks Tipi, sounds like synchronicity for sure!

    • Timewarp profile image
      Author

      Paul 6 years ago from Montreal

      @SusanDeppner: Cool, its updated daily to search blogs for Squidoo...so mention Squidoo in your blog posts and it may show on this and many other pages doing similar blog searches.

    • Timewarp profile image
      Author

      Paul 6 years ago from Montreal

      @MagpieNest: Actually this wasn't just aimed at the noobs ;)

    • ZippoGiant profile image

      ZippoGiant 6 years ago

      some good funny stuff thanks

    • CCGAL profile image

      CCGAL 6 years ago

      This is hilarious. Thanks for a much needed humor break ~ I'll be chuckling over this for quite some time, I suspect.

    • Dianne Loomos profile image

      Dianne Loomos 6 years ago

      Thanks for the comedy break!

    • Sabre1000 profile image

      Sabre1000 6 years ago

      Anybody that posts a picture of the Ood is okay.

    • profile image

      SandyPeaks 6 years ago

      Thanks for the laugh!

    • SusanDeppner profile image

      Susan Deppner 6 years ago from Arkansas USA

      Interesting that my new blog post about pros and cons of the progress bar is currently showing above! (http://i-squidoo-do-you.blogspot.com/2011/03/progr... in case it goes away - if anyone is interested) Always good to be able to laugh at ourselves. Your graphics are perfect!

    • WildFacesGallery profile image

      Mona 6 years ago from Iowa

      Enjoyed the thread post and enjoyed this even more. :)

    • Terry Boroff profile image

      Terry Boroff (flipflopnana) 6 years ago from FL

      Ahhhh, that explains it all. LOL!

    • lemonsqueezy lm profile image

      lemonsqueezy lm 6 years ago

      #3 Sky is falling is my favorite! Amazing job here!

    • profile image

      anonymous 6 years ago

      UUU&H, this should get a Purple Star and LOTD. Awesome lens, very funny I must say. --- My security words is "gigglebird". How fitting it that, Time Warp?

    • MagpieNest profile image

      MagpieNest 6 years ago

      Essential reading for all Squidoo newbies.

    • profile image

      anonymous 6 years ago

      I knew I wasn't imagining things - Squidoo hates me! (In case anyone doesn't realize that I'm being sarcastic - I'm being sarcastic)...Thanks for an amusing lens!

    • BladeOps LM profile image

      BladeOps LM 6 years ago

      fun times

    • mrsquidoo profile image

      mrsquidoo 6 years ago

      This should be LoTD!

    • pcgamehardware profile image

      pcgamehardware 6 years ago

      Funny lens Timewarp

      Thanks, I Needed the laugh...

    • profile image

      anonymous 6 years ago

      @Timewarp: I DID! And I got to be the proud one that gave it's first 'like'! :) I'm sure everyone will get a good chuckle!

    • profile image

      anonymous 6 years ago

      Of COURSE they are! I'm frantically refreshing my dashboard to see if my whole account gets locked!

      Seriously, love this Timewarp, especially the images!

    • Timewarp profile image
      Author

      Paul 6 years ago from Montreal

      Just havin fun here, hope u had a chuckle :)